You are incorrect in this assumption. The court would decide where your daughter would end up.
If you don’t put it in writing, it is not valid and the court will decide your future children’s guardianship.
But that’s technically true even if you did name a guardian, isn’t it? If a bunch of family members got together and petitioned the court because your selected guardian had become a crack addicted prostitute in the past year, the court would have the power to overrule your choice - at least that’s what the lawyer told me when I did my will. And similarly - if the entire family told the court “We think Auntie Mabel and Uncle Stu are the best choices for guardians, and they’ve agreed,” wouldn’t the judge take their advice almost automatically?
Having said that, yes, getting a will together and making your choice known is by far the best plan. You really don’t want both sets of grandparents fighting over who gets the kids.
I have no will. I spoke to a lawyer about getting one once, but I have no one to leave anything to, except my mother. Since she would get it all anyway, the lawyer told me to save my money.
Too late to edit - I meant to say above "Similarly, in the absence of a will or other written guidance from the now deceased parents if the entire family told the court “We think Auntie Mabel and Uncle Stu are the best choices for guardians, and they’ve agreed,” wouldn’t the judge take their advice almost automatically?
Depends on what state you are in. But even in the *presence *of a will or other written guidance from the now deceased parents, if the entire family agrees to something else the likelihood that the court will find that to be in the best interests of the child/ren is very high. In the absence of other factors of course. The desires of the parents are taken into account because, well, they are the parents and one assumes they have the best interests of their children at heart. But kids are not property which can be disposed of by a will. The Court is obliged in all cases to figure out what would be in their best interests.
We nominated my wife’s brother and his wife as guardians, but they’re busy getting divorced, so I guess we’ll have to re-write that bit…
Actually my kids are now well over 21, but when they were under we had a will and provisions for guardianship. Now we have a will and, since we live in California, a trust, which gives specific instructions about how and when to dole out money to them.
Its a pity that its now generally frowned on having the wife and sprogs thrown on your funeral pyre.
( I’ll get my coat!)
This actually happened to me. When a cousin of mine turned 18 recently, her mother said something to the effect of, “Well you’re off the hook, now–you were her legal guardian, you know!” I had no idea–they never told me. Weird.
No kids and no will, but it’s something I’ve been meaning to get around to, and my husband and I have already discussed how everything will be split. In my (still hypothetical) will, my sister gets everything. In my husband’s will, our apartment and investment property go to my sister, and everything else is split 50% to my sister and 50% to his two brothers. I negotiated a pretty sweet deal for my sister - my husband isn’t particularly close to his siblings, and doesn’t care what happens to our belongings after we’re both dead. My sister will be the one we trust to take care of our cats, so we’re both happy for her to get the lion’s share of the assets.
A year after my husband and I separated my lawyer refused to help me get a divorce (long story, I don’t care to get into) but we did a will right then before I left the office. She was horrified I had an 18 month old with no provisions for him. Shortly after that I got life insurance, and now my son would also get a paid off house as well.
My parents would be his guardians and then back up would be my brother. I have been meaning to talk to him though… he and his new wife don’t want kids. Also my common law partner knows he gets nothing, but he has a dad relationship with my son (the bio dad has no contact at all)…
My son is provided for. but the provisions need re-tooling. Thanks to the OP for reminding me.
Neither my husband nor I have anything of worth to leave, but I still have a living will. If the Terri Schiavo debacle taught me anything, it was to have my rights ingrained.
No kids, no problem. If the sisters want to fight over our stock portfolio, I hope it’s much better when we die than it is now.