There has never been a time in my life when I wished I were smarter. There’s nothing I’ve wanted to do that I didn’t try because I thought I wasn’t smart enough.
In other words, I have unshakable confidence that I’m intelligent enough to do anything I’ll ever have to do in my life. It’s not a confidence based on how smart I am in relation to other people - I don’t think I’m the smartest guy in the world or close to it. I’m just smart enough for me.
Therefore, if somebody wanted to insult me, they would have no success going the “dumb” route. They could call me stupid all day long, and it would basically slide right off. Deep, deep down, I don’t believe I’m stupid. So although it might annoy me, it wouldn’t be an effective insult.
By the same token, if somebody wanted to butter me up, they couldn’t do it by telling me how smart I am. I’d thank them for the compliment, of course, but on the inside I’d be thinking “Yes, I know. Why don’t you tell me something I don’t know?” Whereas anyone who tells me I’m handsome and sexy can probably get me to do anything she wants.
In what about yourself do you have total confidence? Are you invulnerable to insults to that aspect of yourself? When someone compliments you on it, are you like “Yeah, so?” Does it have the same effect as a compliment to something in which you’re not so confident?
Like you, I wouldn’t be bothered by being called stupid. I’m not a genius, but my intelligence is never in question. If someone attempted to insult me by saying I was dumb, I’d just snort and assume that they really couldn’t come up with anything, which would actually serve to make me feel good.
I don’t really know of any insult that would cause me to feel insecure. I know exactly who I am, and I love myself, and my friends and family know who I am, and they love me- that’s really all that counts.
In, primarily business related presentations and the like, meetings, people often pose difficult questions when I have to speak before a group. I always provide, at the very least , a sufficient reply, and usually a very satisfying one.
That is the source of the inner-confidence that often allowed me to stay until last call, even though I had to show first thing in the morning.
I have to go with the intelligent thing too. I am not the smartest person in the world or even these boards but I think that I am smart enough to do anything I desire (within broad reason) if I choose. People have complimented me on my intelligence my whole life and I am pretty much oblivious to it.
I have had people that don’t know me throw out a stupid comment before and I just burst out laughing. That is one thing that I will never believe even if someone locked me in solitary confinment and paid people to come in and tell me how stupid I am every day for a year.
Wow, me too with the intelligence. I don’t think I’m absolutely brilliant, but I have never been prevented from doing anything I actually wanted to do because I didn’t feel smart enough.
Compliments on my intelligence don’t really do a whole lot for me most of the time. To me, there’s nothing particularly special about the way I am.
Insults (direct or implied) on this score from people who don’t know me well don’t bother me. Insults from friends or family members that actually seem to be semi-serious just make me mad.
Compare this to my physical appearance. I guess I’m pretty average-looking, but what confidence I have is very easily inflated and deflated. Whenever anyone compliments me on it, I’m elated. Whenever I hear (or think I hear) an insult, I turn red and wish I could melt into the floor and never show my face again.
I’m pretty confident in my good looks. I usually keep this to myself but I have a tendacy to think I’m the most handsome man in the room. If I were to ever go gay I’d so totally do it with myself.
As far as the smart thing goes… well, I used to think I was brilliant (in contrast to my circle of friends.) That was up intill about three years ago when I joined the frick’n board.
Even if you never doubt your intelligence, looks or whatever it behooves you to act humbly. Even if you are in the top .1% at anything all that means is that there are only 6,000,000* people smarter/better looking/faster/whatever than you.
*I really really hope I didn’t mess that math up
My guitar playing. I’ve not had issues with confidence in my playing in quite a few years. I play a pretty unique and difficult style (bluegrass and swing flatpicking) that requires quite a few years practice to even approach a decent minimum performance level (mostly b/c it’s just so darn fast and melodic - I work up every flatpicking tune I play to around 240 bpm, even if I’ll never perform it near that speed.)
But i’ve spent so many years playing this really fast melodic kind of style, so when I go out to a jam, or to sit in with another group, I’m never really concerned about being able to play. Unless we’re playing really out-there jazz stuff and I’m not on a chart, I’m almost always the most comfortable and confident player there.
Not to say I’m the best, far from it, but after you play some of this really crazy stuff at lightspeed for a while, a simple blues jam is pretty relaxing.
Of course, make it an electric guitar, and my confidence goes right out the window.
I will say that I have absolute confidence in my test-taking ability. Even if I don’t study at all, I still feel like I can do really good on a test. This attitude really helps even if it isn’t true. Last semester I walked into a class and had no idea there was a test that day. I still felt confident even though I had not studied at all.
I’m confident that I’m pretty. Not a supermodel, but pretty. If a person wants to insult me, saying I’m ugly isn’t the way to do it, ‘cus I’m just not buyin’ it.
That being said, I have some dern ugly moments - particularly if I’ve gone to bed without removing all of my eye-make up. Can you say Alice Cooper?
I think I’d be confused if someone tried to say i had ugly eyes (assuming I hadn’t just been beaten, or something), as those have been a source of compliments since the sixth grade, for me. Or if they tried to say I was a psychic vampire with supernatural powers (which actually did happen, once). Neither one of those would ever make me do anything but laugh
Funny you ask, cuaudiofasldkjtls… Ah, let’s see, over the years, I’ve developed a pretty thick skin for insults. Why? Just because. From elementary to freshman year in high school, tons of my classmates made fun of my name and that I was skinny. But it never fazed me. Most of it wasn’t done maliciously.
In reference to your question, I have total confidence (with a 1% margin of error, to be safe) in my abilities to attempt, and eventually succeed, at whatever I want. That confidence is also there in looks, name (which evolved into “cool” when I got to high school), and definitely intelligence. When people compliment me on my eyes or smarts, I pretend to appreciate the gesture, but I’m really thinking Is that the best you can do? Come on, Lewis and Clarke, you weren’t the first to discover the obvious. You know what? Forget it. Just fuck off. You’re dead to me now, ingrate.
But here’s the irony…I’ve never believed compliments on my writing skills or the quality of my work. I get them all the time, but secretly, I always think What do you know? Geez, I’m a better judge than you…and you call yourself Professor??? Parent??? Honor Society??? Dean’s List??? I only added the last achievements to clarify that I am, ultimately, the judge, jury and executioner of my abilities. In these particular cases, I never think I’m taking on enough obligations in my everyday life (e.g., 20 units, 2 jobs, and 2 extracurriculars still didn’t satisfy me last semester), never writing as well as I can, never trying as hard as I should. So, sadly, these aspects really gutpunch my confidence. I don’t believe compliments, and I seem to feed off criticism. My brother’s right, I’m a psycho.
my friends say i’m the best parallel parker in the world.
And imho, i think I am one of the better ones around. I can get into a small space, line it up perfectly, in a flash.
I have total confidence in my ability to forget what my wife has just told me she did at the weekend while remembering all the football results last week and the fixtures for next week.
I have absolute confidence that she doesn’t find this half as endearing as I do.
I used to be very confident in my intelligence. I thought I could learn and do just about anything I put my mind to.
Then I went to graduate school. I met several people who were so smart they made me look like a fourth grade slow reader. I took a course that I wasn’t prepared for, and discovered that, in fact, I can’t figure everything out by rereading the textbook and reviewing my lecture notes, reading other books on the topic, etc. And I discovered what it’s like to have an unsympathetic, unhelpful professor.
That was an important lesson for me. I confess that when I started TAing, I used to get a bit impatient with students who just weren’t getting it. Why didn’t they work harder? Aren’t they bothering to read the book? Now I remember being in their shoes, what it’s like to be in over your head and sinking fast, and I hope it has made me a better teacher.
I no longer have absolute confidence in my intelligence. And I can’t think of anything else I am 100% confident about, either.
