Yesterday, I picked up a definitive Alibi.
Tripler
I was busy with the crossword for better part of an hour, yerhonner.
I was killing somebody else at that time.
Yaknow, I was going to put the time zone in my OP but I thought “now why would a cop come asking you about a murder that happened in a different time zone. Dopers will figure it out.”
Guess not 
Well, I know I live alone, and was provably in bed by 9ish, but I ain’t saying nothing without a subpoena. Or, if the government wants to put it in writing that I’m entitled to “use immunity”, I’ll happily come in and tell them whatever I can - I don’t have any good tea to spill, but it’s advisable to get concessions whenever you can.
It’s not my fault the average flatfoot is not, as I am, “Swinging on the Riviera one day, then laying in the Bombay alley next day,” while “kissing persuasive lips,” and I refuse to cater to their parochial outlook.
Well, if all of you people have watertight alibis the moment has come for me to plead the fifth. Somebody has to do it, I guess, and for once there seem to be no trumpists involved, so I’ll take that one for the team.
Is it ever bad to have an alibi?
Suppose you live alone and work at home pretty much in isolation, so at any random moment you are very unlikely to have an alibi. But in the middle of the night you have a terrible craving for Denny’s pancakes, and you drive to Denny’s, eat your fill, and pay with your credit card.
Turns out somebody you’re known to have argued with gets murdered right then. So, it would seem good you have an alibi. But the police will start to wonder why it is that somebody who almost never has an alibi suddenly has one for just the right time.
Will they become convinced that you did it and arranged the apparent alibi somehow? Will they pursue you relentlessly?
And why am I sitting here writing this? Is it because I’m supposed to be cleaning the litter boxes and assembling an end table? Yeah, probably.
I’m imagining these intrepid detectives at work.
Gumshoe: “Now, the best way to get started is to come up with a list of suspects.”
Dick: “I’ve got a list of people with pretty solid alibis.”
G: “Great! We’ll start with them! Surely, only the killer would bother to have a solid excuse for why he - or she! - was not able to commit the crime!”
D: “Well, actually, I was kinda thinking we’d head to the crime scene, maybe look for clues there…”
G: “Pish! That’s exactly what the killer expects us to do! I hear there’s one person who is on surveillance video across town, at a Denny’s, at the very moment our victim was being bludgeoned. Dick, my boy, if we can connect that random event to our crime, we’ve cracked our case.”
D: “I don’t think there’s a connection, actually.”
G: “Brilliant work! Now you’re starting to think like a real detective! But we better get this person in for some interrogations, just to be sure. It would be just the sort of thing for a murderous psychopath to do to orchestrate such a contrived alibi. Pancakes! As if you can’t see through the clear charade!”
D: “I think it’s pronounced charade.”
I was at work. Ask my supervisor. 
(There are advantages to the evening shift… not many, but some…)
Well… I cleaned the litter boxes…
No, I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! It wasn’t my fault, I swear to god!