I don’t want to adopt your cat.
Any of you guys planning on an autopsy?
You can be cremated after an autopsy. You can have an open-casket funeral after an autopsy. You could even have an open-butt funeral after an autopsy. But you can’t donate your organs after an autopsy.
By the way, if you die of communicable diseases like AIDS or Hep C, or become a medical examiner case by, for example, getting shot by another person, you can’t be an anatomical gift. Sorry for all those who were planning on it.
Take what you need, burn the rest. No religion. Wake. Big party.
-Take the organs and give them to someone who can use them. I’ve taken good care of myself and hopefully I can give someone another chance at a decent life.
-Cremate the rest. Scatter some of my ashes in the sea. The rest to be intermingled with the ashes of my daughter who died when she was three days old. Then THOSE ashes are to be kept and interred with GrizzWife.
-As for the memorial service. Play ‘Rock n Roll Part II’ by Gary Glitter.
Lots of kindred spirits here. I see no point in taking up real estate after I’m gone. No religion, no casket, no burial plot. I’m donating my organs if any are in good enough condition to re-use. Burn the rest and have a wake.
While reading through the thread, it occurred to me that I should tell my friends they have to drink whatever I’ve left unfinished in my liquor cabinet & wine rack at the wake.
I would like a dignified funeral. That’s for the stodgy part of me.
The family gathering afterwards I’d like to be a party, not the ‘eat and get the hell out of there’ affairs I’ve been to of late.
Regarding the disposal of my body, I want to be cremated, and then have my ashes separated into 7 separate piles. I’d like one each spread on my mother’s, father’s, and grandparent’s graves, a vial to be buried with the wife and son, and the last one spread in the Smokies of Tennessee where an active railroad line crossed a stream or river. If I can’t figure out where I want my intact body buried, then divide me up and put me with everyone.
Of course, I’ll have to have an open casket viewing so I can rise from the dead and strangle anyone who plays stupid, unapproved music at any time…
First, donate my organs. Second–VERY IMPORTANT-- I do NOT want to be embalmed or have my blood drained. Absolutely not! I also do not want a coffin! I want my naked un-embalmed body go into the earth without a coffin, so I can quickly decompose and become one with the earth.
Usually when someone dies, their blood is drained, washed down the sink, and their veins pumped with preservatives. I think this is horrible! I think your blood is just as important as your body, and I want to keep it. It is also important because it will aid in your decomposition, so you’re not some embalmed mummy 10 years later.
I also hate the idea of a coffin. Why have a coffin? I want the dirt to be right next to my dead flesh, so all the little critters can easily feast on me, and a tree’s roots can entwine with my bones.
Please tell me, someone, is it legal to be buried without a coffin and without being embalmed? If it were for religious reasons? I really hope so, that will be my dying wish. If it is not legal, I might just have someone surreptitiously bury me out in the woods in the middle of nowhere. This is very important to me!
Oh my dear god. I went looking for information about embalming, and I think most of you will be horrified by the things they do to your body in the embalming process:
http://www.funerals.org/personal/embalm.htm
Some examples:
Facial features are set by putting cotton in the nose, eye caps below the eyelids, a mouth former in the mouth (cotton or gauze in the throat to absorb purging fluids). The mouth is then tied shut with wire or sutures. (Glue may be used on the eyelids and lips to keep them closed in an appropriate pose.)
The second part of the embalming process is called cavity embalming. A trocar — a long, pointed, metal tube attached to a suction hose — is inserted close to the navel. The embalmer uses it to puncture the stomach, bladder, large intestines, and lungs. Gas and fluids are withdrawn before “cavity fluid” (a stronger mix of formaldehyde) is injected into the torso.
The anus and vagina may be packed with cotton or gauze to prevent seepage if necessary. (A close-fitting plastic garment may also be used.)
Embalming is a physically invasive process in which special devices are implanted, and chemicals and techniques are used to give an appearance of restful repose. The normal waxy-white color of a dead body is replaced with a more life-like tone by the use of dyes in the embalming fluid.
Jam a good size hambone in my butt and let the hounds of the town drag me off.
Then my friends can get together and lift a glass, remembering what a total meathead I was. 
The directions for my funeral would be something like this:
- cremation
- send my ashes into the sun
- have a party to celebrate the good memories of my life
Organ donation is the only thing I firmly believe in, but my ideal funeral would be as follows.
I want to be cremated and put in an urn. If my mom’s artist friend is still alive, I want her to make the urn. There will be an Irish wake with the urn, photographs, memntos, my favorite music, all my friends and family, and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Religion is optional, based on the wishes of my survivors. After the wake, I want my ashes to be scattered wherever my survivors deem acceptable. While my ashes are being scattered, I want “Don’t You Forget About Me” by Simple Minds to play. After the scattering, my urn will be kept by my mother/father/significant other and used as a planter.
I have no desire for my body to remain petrified in toxic chemicals when it should be going back to nourish the earth that nourished me. The funeral itself would be a fairly simple affair – I’d like to be wrapped in natural linen, with a brief pagan ceremony, and then buried in a fetal position, either underneath an existing tree, or planting one above me.
I’m hoping natural burial cemeteries will be more common by then. Although I’ve heard that you can legally bury yourself however you want if you own the land you’re buried on, so maybe that’s another possibility.
I have no desire for my body to remain petrified in toxic chemicals when it should be going back to nourish the earth that nourished me. The funeral itself would be a fairly simple affair – I’d like to be wrapped in natural linen, with a brief pagan ceremony, and then buried in a fetal position, either underneath an existing tree, or planting one above me.
I’m hoping natural burial cemeteries will be more common by then. Although I’ve heard that you can legally bury yourself however you want if you own the land you’re buried on, so maybe that’s another possibility.
An enlightening article (scroll down to the bottom): http://www.sierraclub.org/sierra/199901/lol.asp
I would prefer to have all my usable bits (if there are any) donated, and then to be cremated. However, if those who survive me need a big funeral with all the trimmings, they can have it. Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
I want to be donated to a medical science school.
Take anything that can be reused. After that, No embalming (I’ve been through enough chemicals already, thanks) … No open casket. Cremate me as soon as possible. Hubby must then keep the sealed urn above the fireplace, where the replacement wife must dust me daily.
As for service, no sappy poems. Glurge is absolutely forbidden. The obligatory sad organ hymn, followed by a brief prayer and the music changes to Jimmy Buffett and the Grateful Dead. Then wheel in the buffet tables and the bartender station. The first person to cry gets the liquor bill. 
Mine is actually fairly planned out.
Harvest my guts, I don’t need 'em anymore, and if some other bastard can make use of my much mistreated liver, more power to him,
Cremation. Put my happy butt up the chimney. My ashes are then to be divided 50/50 between whoever shows up and my favorite pub. I have already paid the owner for a permanent urn lease on the spot right next to the Jameson’s.
There is to be NO religious ceremony whatsoever. My best friend will kick things off, and then anyone who wants to come up and praise or slander me is welcome. It’ll go on until everyone who wants to has had their say, and there WILL be an open bar.
When everyone is all done, a piper will play Amazing Grace and everyone will head to the Pub for a wake funded by a portion of my life insurance.
Pretty straightforward, really, send me out as I lived: with good whiskey, good stories and good friends.
Cremated,
Very private small gathering, short too, to weep (because no matter what you say, they will) and celebrate my life…no mention of god either.
My ashes to be scattered in Cuba, Hawaii, the RainForest…
Basically, no one is to keep anything from my phsical body…my pictures/drawings/memories should suffice.
Nyctea Scand’, there’s a couple of little problems with your “bury me free and coffinless in the earth” proposal.
One, your communicable diseases will get into the water table.
Feel good about that?
What, did you think all this embalming and coffining business was purely religious?
You didn’t notice there was a public health issue?
Two, if you are buried in the woods in the dead of night by some kind friend, guaranteed, within a year or two somebody or their dog will find you (you have no idea how obvious buried dead bodies are - the first thing is the grass growing thicker over the site), and you will be disinterred, investigated, autopsied, and declared a probable homicide. Since that is the usual motive of persons burying persons secretly in the woods. Any clue that leads to your friend , will lead to a payback of proportions I doubt you wanted.
I’m not willing to be your last friend…
You could always donate your body to the Body Farm in Tennessee.