Do you have any stupid special talents?

I’m not talking about anything physical, like bending your thumb back or twisting your head around like in The Exorcist.

I’m talking extremely stupid-will never help you anywhere in life-people asking why the hell you do that talents.

In our six months of marriage, I’ve entertained my husband with one major talent.

I can tell you exactly which season of Hunter is on by the opening three seconds of the credits.

He still can’t do it, and he’s tried. Many times. He’s tried to memorize the openings and do it. Still can’t. I can do it usually within 2 seconds, most times within three.

If we’ve missed the credits, I can usually tell which season it is by Stepfanie Kramer’s hair within about a half-second.

I wish I could get a job doing this.

E.

I play a pretty good medic on team fortress classic (a PC game). You should see me in action.

I can fit a quarter in each nostril. Two on a good day.

You know those number puzzles, the kind with the sliding squares that you mix up, then put in order? I can do that faster than almost anyone. If someone else mixes it up for me, I can do it within 10 seconds, usually within 8. It takes me far longer to mix up a puzzle than to put it in order. Talk about a useless skill.

StG

I have the same ability to identify episodes of Buffy.
I can blow up one balloon inside another - so there’s one balloon inflated with another partially inflated inside it.

That’s a neat trick! How do you do that?

I can balance myself horizontally on my hands. My body ends up being parallel to the ground. I can also do a kip.

My brother can tell you how many letters are in each word of any sentence you might say, real quick. For example, the first sentence of this post would elicit the response from him “2-7-3-4-3-3-4-7-3-2-4-4-2-3-8-3-5-3-4-5.”

And if you tell him “That’s annoying,” he goes “5-8.”

When we go to the grocery store and get ready to check out, my wife will ask me how much are we going to spend. I’ll grab a number out of the air and usually be within $5 of the total bill.

I can force myself to belch explosively on command.

This talent was a lot more important in elementary and junior high school.

Well, damn. I was going to post that I could do exactly that. The bending my thumb backwards thing, not the Exorcist thing. Although the Exorcist thing would be way cooler.

I can usually name any TV theme song after hearing just the first 3 notes.

That’s physical! I’m an ex-gymnast so there’s heaps of useless yet entertaining stuff I can do in a physical sense (walking on hands, splits, etc).

But not physica? Hmmm. Well my hair is very unusual. People are fascinated with it. It goes into ringlets, and people pull them so they spring back. My hair even springs when it’s in plaits!

That could come in handy during Question Period if you were a Member of the House of Commons.

Blow up the outer balloon a little. Holding it shut, roll up the second one, then insert it into the first balloon. Hang on to the opening of the second one - if you lose it, there’s no way to blow it up any.

Now, hold the mouth of the second to the side a little, and blow up the first one some - don’t go as big as it will go, or you can end up popping it. Then, blow up the second one as big as you want it and tie them both off. I usually tie them together, so the two openings are anchored together.

I can spin stuff on my fingers really easily: books, notebooks, tennis racquets, basketballs, back packs filled with books, etc.

You know that twirly thing Boris does with a pen in the movie Goldeneye? I can do that.

I can make fart noises by squeezing my palms together.

I’m also really good with a bo staff. ::snicker::

Oh, I can chug half a bottle of Tequila. Yeah!!! Hehe.

I can spin stuff on my fingers too, and I can mirror write.

It’s been years since I’ve seen an episode so I can’t do it anymore but I used to be able to tell you the plot of an episode of Saved by the Bell after about ten or fifteen seconds. And thanks to costume and hair and makeup changes, it’s pretty easy to do for ST: TNG and ST: DS9 too.

If you read the opening panel of any Calvin & Hobbes strip, I can tell you the rest, almost verbatim in most instances.