Carl rules.
I’m fond of this quote but I always get uncomfortable silence whenever I announce innocuously “I blame society.”
I am compelled to say this every time the printer needs to be refilled.
Obscure one: When my wife asks me if I wasn’t eggs for breakfast, I’ll often lisp “Eggth? I like eggth!”.
I picked this habit up secondhand, from a summer job co-worker who would say this back when I was in college, in 1990.
I didn’t know what it was from until about a year ago, when I could look it up on this new thingy called the Internet. Turns out it was from a Billy Crystal routine, where he imitated famous boxers (this one was Thomas Hearns, I believe).
Ha! My second contribution to this thread was going to be from Fletch. Whenever we visit a lovely location, especially a fancy hotel, by wife and I will always say “Nices places”. Even my mother has started to pick up on it.
One more: I’ll sometimes say “I’m not so sure about your police work there, Lou” from Fargo.
When my wife says something I don’t like: “Why do you say these things to me when you know I will kill you for it?” - Zod
Or if she says something self-defeating: “Be more confident, stupid!” That’s from The Simpsons’ Troy McClure.
Or if someone is bitching about things: “Lighten up, Francis.” - Stripes
Actually, much of my life is movie quotes. Same with my kids, although I’m sure i don’t know where they got that.
When my wife tells me something iffy: “No way! You lie!” in my best Homer Simpson voice.
If someone orders (or even mentions) a BLT sandwich, I feel compelled to repeat Miracle Max’s line from The Princess Bride:
“…a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe…they’re so perky, I love that.”
I frequently quote Bollo and say,* “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”
*Or John Cleese. “Yes, Well, predictable, really…”
I have often used “nuke them from orbit, it is the only way to be sure” when asked to get rid of something.
I do the whole “bunnies” song from Buffy – Once more with feeling when rabbits are discussed
Brian
“D’oh!” works in real life, too.
Possibly the finest catch phrase from a written one-panel cartoon:
If someone accidentally pushes on a door marked ‘Pull’ (or vice-versa), someone - if not everyone present - will immediately chant ‘School For The Gifted’.
Oh! - just remembered another one - and it’s so timely (unfortunate in a way, but worth remembering now).
If my group is trying to talk one of the guys into staying for one more beer, the line ‘It’s only waffer thin’ in an appalling french accent will be trotted out. Can be used for drinks, coffees, nachos, horsey-doovers or whatever.
I’ve used that occasionally at the curling club, after a particularly aggressive takeout shot.
No one has recognized it. Yet.
Speaking of catchphrases: when watching movies or TV (and occasionally in real life) when a really ominous event is occurring (car crashes, F5 tornados, someone entering a house where a deranged serial killer is waiting with a chainsaw etc.), I’ll say,
“Well, that can’t be good.”
I am also fond of presenting positive information with “Good news, everyone!”
It’s old as the hills, but it still gets a laugh from my wife: “This is why we can’t have nice things!”
(I used that in, “The Matrix,” when the lobby got shot up, and sometime in, “Jupiter Ascending,” near the end, I think.)
Thanks to that idiot Kanye West, I have never since been able to hear/read the word “gold-digger” without thinking of a racial slur.
old SNL skit years ago - “The question is moot!”
Whenever I am asked a question to which I have no way of possibly knowing the answer, it’s: “Mongo not know. Mongo only pawn in game of life.”
My grandson, having just finished watching The Mandalorian series, has taken to finish his speeches with: “I have spoken.”
Whenever I begin a sentence with “I wonder”, I find it difficult not to pause and add, “yes, I wonder…is this the way life’s meant to be?”
(From the eponymous ELO song.)