Do You Have Financial Interest in LASIK or what?

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m getting pissed about this phenomena. Some “helpful” person, noticing I wear glasses (yeah, kind of hard to miss) starts pushing LASIK on me.

“Really - you should get it done. You could get rid of the glasses. You’d look so much better. I hear such good things about it --”

That’s the polite version. Once I even got: “What’s wrong with you? You’ve got a problem, why don’t you get it fixed once and for all?”

No, you fuckwads, I can NOT get LASIK. For one thing, the correction needed to bring me to 20/20 exceeds what can be safely done. So I’d still have to wear the goddamned glasses. I’m also, for several reasons, at exceedingly high risk of side effects. I would almost certainly lose my night vision and my night driving privileges - which is going to make getting to and from work a real fucking joyride in winter.

But, frankly, it’s NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSINESS. Who the fuck are YOU to demand I get my precious eyeballs sliced, lased, or poked? Easy enough for you - YOU’RE not the one who it’s being done to, you’re not paying for it, and you won’t have to live with the consequences.

“Oh, and they can do this thing where one eye is corrected for distance and one for up close, so you’ll never need reading glasses!”

Leaving aside for a moment that I alreadly have reading glasses, if I did that I would lose my pilot’s license as the FAA frowns on that form of “correction”. No thanks. Have too much invested in that hobby.

“But glasses distort your vision - don’t you want to get rid of that?”

OK, understand this: I have NEVER had uncorrected normal vision. What is this “distortion” you speak of? The world looks as it has ALWAYS looked to me. This is my “normal”. If I woke up tomorrow with my eyes transmitting perfect 20/20 vision to my brain I’d freak out - because although it would match everyone else’s “normal” it wouldn’t match mine. Granted, it’s not a HUGE difference, I obviously function just fine in the world, but “normal” would probably look funny to me.

(Specifically, the lenses in my glasses tend to curve images on the edge of the lense. Those not accustomed to this describe it as a sort of “fisheye” effect. Thing is, those curved images look perfectly straight to me. Why? Because the brain has a built-in error correction for retinal images - what actually is beamed into your eyeball is upside-down and highly curved, but you see it right-side up and straight. Same principal, slightly different error correction, customized for my needs. Isn’t the human brain wonderful? End of science lecture, back to rant.)

Who are these fuckers who have such “helpful” opinions about what others should do? Yeah, there’s the “why don’t you get contacts” bullshit, too. What the fuck? NONE OF THEIR GODDAMNED BUSINESS!

If the DMV is happy with my current system of visual correction, and the FAA is happy with my current system of visual correction, and more importantly, I am happy with my current system of visual correction WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE TO SAY OTHERWISE?

Gawd – wonder if they go up to one-legged people and critique their choice of prosthesis? Tell blind people they have the wrong color guide dog?

Miserable ignorant pushy fuckers…

2

Here’s whatcha do:

Keep an interested look on your puss, and ask “Have you heard anything about that new surgery, ‘propriaplasty’?”

“No, what’s that?”

“It’s really great. Developed in Denmark, but it’s starting to catch on here. They use ultrasonic knives to surgically restore the sense of propriety to poor afflicted people who are deficient in it.”

3

I wouldn’t do it either. I don’t want them messing with my eye (I’d only have to have the left one done). Besides the fact that I don’t have the money, it’s surgery, and I’m too big a coward to have eye surgery unless it was medically necessary. LASIK isn’t. My glasses work fine, so why mess with what works?

4

I’m curious about the issue raised in the thread title but not addressed in the OP.

Are there stealth marketers out there shilling for LASIK centers?

5

My husband had LASIK a few years ago, and while he got decent results, he still has to wear glasses for distance and for reading. He’s definitely not 100% happy with it.

Me, I’ve worn glasses since I was 5 years old. I have less than zero desire to stick things in my eyes on a daily basis, thus have never had ANY interest in getting contacts. And I’m a total wuss where it comes to eye surgery, so would rather deal with bifocals and computer glasses, yes, even if my glasses are expensive, yes, even if I would be a decent LASIK candidate. I’m also one who’d probably end up losing my night driving privileges since I already have enough trouble seeing to drive at night, between glare and halos.

And yet I’ve gotten the same questions. Often. Repeatedly. People cannot understand why I’m not interested. But IT’S MY EYES, fuckers! You want to take a chance on ruining your eyesight? That’s your choice! Me, I’ll just keep the lens business solvent, thank you!

6

I have 20/20 vision in one eye and crap vision in the other. My vision with both eyes together is 20/20. I’d LOVE to get lasik so I can drive without glasses, but the doctor says that I’d wind up with vision in one eye that’s much smaller than in the other eye. :eek:

7

Try this:
“No thanks. I’ve looked into it and it’s not for me.”
Repeat (politely) as necessary, verbatim. Do not add justifications, excuses or personal information. Busybodies will eventually get the message.

As for the “You’d look better” crack, try something like “Oh, I’m sorry you don’t like the way I look,” in a hurt tone of voice and sad facial expression. Let them know they’ve hurt your feelings by criticizing your appearance.

On a personal note, LASIK also does nothing for presbyopia (old-people’s vision). So when you’re old, you’d have to still wear reading glasses. Myself, I’m perfectly happy with my variable focus lenses.

8

Just say: Are you an opthalmologist? No? Are you an AME? No? Take your damn LASIK and stick it in your eye!

IIRC, not all that long ago, LASIK could disqualify a pilot.

9

Wow, do you really get that very often? I probably have just as terrible vision as you do–LASIK is no good for me either, for the same reasons–but very few people have ever asked me about it, except when we’re talking about my vision. Not exactly a big topic, so it doesn’t come up much.

Bummer for you, though. It does get boring explaining just how bad the correction is. * (Yes, I know you have terrible vision and LASIK helped. Mine is much worse than yours. Trust me on this.) *

10

I remember from years ago the Dear Abby (or was it Ann Landers) response to things like this:

"But why are you asking me about something that is so private & personal and not your business?"

And to all of their “But I only meant…” or “But I was just concerned…” keep repeating that question, word-for-word, until they drop the subject.

Still seems to me to be quite effective. You will get the message thru to them, and they are not likely to bring the subject up again. And you will have remained polite and respectful, despite the rudeness of their comments.

11

It’s a totally off-the-cuff unscientific observation on my part - but usually the people pushing LASIK hardest either already have good eyesight, or only need a minor correction.

Hey, I’ve had bad eyesight - I don’t want to take even a chance of going there again!

12

It is quite possible that it is the combination of thick glasses + pilot’s license that is generating some of this concern. In my case, neither is a secret. (Old joke: “How do you know when you’ve met a pilot?” “No problem - he/she will tell you. At length.”) Many people still believe that you need absolutely perfect vision to fly. You don’t. You do need your vision correctable to a certain standard - which I meet.

13

Lasik isn’t cheap, either. I asked about it last year and my optometrist told me it was about $2000 per eye. That’s a hell of a lot of money if you don’t have it. That “helpful” person had no place telling the OP that she needed Lasik. If someone tries to be as helpful again, maybe an appropriate response would be, “I’d love to get it, if you’re paying,” or, “You know, have YOU ever thought about getting a facelift? Those flabby jowls can be easily corrected.”

14

Go for an oscar moment if its when you show up for your LASIK consultation and they tell you this, might be good for a discount :D.

15

They cut the patient whenever he’s rude, till he stops it?

16

I say you should start to cry, and when the person asks what’s wrong, say “I’m sorry, it’s just… Well, a botched LASIK surgery killed my dad.” Then run away sobbing.

17

I think the only response I could come up with would be, “Why do you care?”

I am so glad I don’t have to deal with this - I’ve worn fairly hefty glasses since grade 11, can’t wear contacts, and won’t get LASIK (and probably not a candidate for it anyway), but all of that is just nobody else’s damned business. The story of my vision is not a big secret or anything, but someone pestering me about contacts or LASIK would not be welcome.

18

People recommend products to others all the time. If I recommended a certain brand of peanut butter to you because I think it tastes good, would you get mad and say it’s none of my fucking business what kind of peanut butter you eat? Or is eyesight suddenly a taboo subject now? If so, what other everyday subjects should I remember not to mention to you people? It sounds like you are all insecure about having bad eyesight.

19

I wear reading glasses. No, I’m not happy about that and, yes, I hate wearing them. And I get suggestions from all and sundry to get the LASIK surgery. There are three reasons I won’t do it: (1) as noted in another’s post above it’s not the thing for the condition requiring reading glasses, (2) I personally know only one individual who has had the surgery and (a) it worked on on eye but (b) didn’t do much for the vision in the other eye because she didn’t keep her eye still. That leads to number (3): I really can’t keep still, let alone keep my eye still, that long. Okay, there’s a fourth reason: I’m afraid of having someone performing surgery on me. It’s a legitimate fear due to the awful job a doctor did for both operations to remove my appendix. Since glasses do the job and don’t require surgery, my fear is abated.

{snip}

My guess is they’re the same bunch of nincompoops who come up to me and ask why I don’t get some correction for my colorblindness. Or ask me what colors I see. Or suggest I drink tons of carrot juice to “fix your problem.” Or ask me what color something is. I’m freaking colorblind! The object could be any one of a bunch of colors that all look the same to me!

Gah! The stupidity!

20

“Gee, rkts. You already have x number of children. You should get sterilized. That way you don’t have to worry about contributing to the population problem.”

Let me know if you don’t see the relevance that has to your post.