I was a supervisor. As such, I was friendly to subordinates, but they knew that they couldn’t mistake that for me being someone who would look the other way in the case of misbehavior. There was one guy at one of my jobs who I went fishing with a few times, but our families didn’t hang out, mainly because he was quite a bit younger. I always believed in the adage of ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ when it came to boss/employee relationships. Too many people believe that they can take advantage of that to their benefit. Boss first, colleague second, friendly third.
Well I work from home by myself now. But when I worked in a large architectural office I had many friends there, and still socialize with a lot of them. Looking through my FB friends I would say a good dozen or so are former coworkers. In fact this Friday a friend I worked with 25 years ago is coming to stay at my house and we are going brew pub hopping. I met this guy at the first office I worked at when I moved to Seattle from DC.
I am in general though a very social person and “I” am the one who keeps the contact up and sets up the socializations for the most part, but that is true for work friends or friends I have met in other arenas. My wife is the same way, so it might depend on how social you are in general. The OP doesn’t sound like he is the type to socialize, or only socialize in manners under his control. I am the exact opposite, if I go to a pub/bar, I sit at the bar and you meet some interesting people, you also meet some odd ones! But I have met several friends in those locales as well. Maybe I just have an approachable face!
I’m a management consultant, so I feel like making friends at work is actually part of the job requirement. We call it the “airport test”. Basically what it amounts to is “would you actually be willing to spend hours with this person stuck at an airport.” Plus these firms have a lot of after work events that cause you to hang out with your coworkers socially anyway.
With all these people having to be friendly all the time, it’s not surprising that a lot of them (especially the younger ones) become actual friends (or even date and get married) outside of work.
So yeah, I generally have a few friends from work I see socially after hours.
Absolutely not.
Rehabilitation hospital.
I speak with many of my coworkers… mostly cracking jokes. I change the subject whenever something semi-serious comes up. Unless work related-- which it rarely ever is.
I have been invited by some of the smokers to go on a smoke break with them. I always say “no, sorry, I just don’t smoke with people.” I think that comes off as cold, but I am really adamant about not going to the smoking area-- too much negativity/gossip/backstabbing. I just stay away from that shit man I can’t handle it.
I’ve been asked to hang out a few times, but I always say no.
I don’t want to be friends with my coworkers. Maybe after I quit, or they do-- I’ll consider it. I can’t do it. I won’t do it.
I don’t have a job.
I am a very social person and I just started a new job in HR in an office that is VERY quiet. In these last two weeks I have come to accept what I had been denying forever
women can be very cliquey and catty
I don’t know if its because I’m new or my resting bitch face, but only the way older ladies will talk to me. The age groups are 22-37 and 45-60.
I am 43. Am I old??? hahahaha I guess!
I would love to go out for drinks on payday. Shoot, even an occasional lunch outing. But Im trying to rein in my conversation. I act like someone whos been on a deserted island finding someone to talk for the first time…uggg… Im so not cool…
Anyway. No friends, at least not yet
I like and get along with almost everyone at my office, but never socialize with any of them outside working hours.
I have a couple.
Nope. Made that decision long ago. I’ll be friendly with people at work, but I will never depend on them to be real friends. Usually express it along the lines of “I see you people 40-45 hours a week already”.
I have done some outside activities with co-workers, such as going to the shooting range, or playing paintball back in the day (90’s), but as others have said, once you start thinking these people are real friends, you find out that they aren’t.
On my internship I work mostly at home – I have no friends. Forums take my energy away from work.
Not me. I’m also friendly with most in the office but that’s about it.
I generally lean left politically but am an engineer in the defense industry. That doesn’t leave me with much in common with my co-workers who fall pretty far to the right.
Maybe half the friends I’ve had have been someone I worked with. You find out if it really extends past the office when one of you moves on. If you still hang out after that you have a real friend.
Yeah, I have several friends made through work. In fact, the majority of my post-college friends are through work. I’ve continued my friendship even when some of them have changed companies or moved.
We tend to have similar interests and there’s not a lot of work drama, so it seems pretty natural to me. And although we do work together, most of what we do is individual, so it’s not like I spend 40 hours with them and then hang out on the weekends. It’s more like a few hours a week.
I’m on the bottom of the ladder at a shipping center. There are a couple people I see socially outside work from my level all the way up to building management; enough to consider them friends. In most cases, had we met outside work I think we still would have become some level of friends.
We get moved around a lot between various functions so I can honestly say there aren’t any people who would be friends if I didn’t have to work with them every day. Best friend or worst enemy, I’ll probably only work near them once every couple weeks or so. So that doesn’t enter into the equation for me.
I hang out with a few coworkers outside of work. I work in an office setting.
I have in the past. It’s easier in your 20s, especially if your coworkers are as well.
At my current company, no. Everyone in my group is 30 plus. I’m the only single person, plus I live in the city. The others are married with kids trying to compete with each other to see who can live in the most furthest suburb. Their off work time is based around kids and Home Depot. I’m more interested in bars, restaurants, theatre, museums, and concerts.
I get along well enough with my coworkers but, aside from the job, I don’t really have a lot in common with them. I do not socialize with them after work.
I’ve actually made not socializing at work an art form.
Even the people who offer candy to everyone avoid me. Nobody asks to “friend” me on Facebook, which is practically a rite in my office.
They’re all very social. Most are young moms who hang out a lot. There seem to be a lot of cliques for a 20-person office.
I haven’t been asked a personal question in years. Even when I told my boss I had to take time off for my husband’s surgery, no one asked how it went. When I had surgery, a few people asked about it, but that was all.
I’m pretty content being invisible. 
I like my coworkers and spend time with them outside of work fairly regularly. But I wouldn’t call them friends. If I’d change jobs, I doubt I would ever meet up with them again (maybe once or twice in the beginning, but I’f be surprised if that set up would stick).
Yeah, but that’s like anything in life. How many friends from high school or college do you keep in touch with a few years after graduation? 90% of friendship is proximity.
Personally, I think it’s kind of sad if you cant be friends with your coworkers. Do you prefer being emotionless automatons?