Another vote for acceptable social lubrication. Small meaningless fibs that we all recognise and accept. They’re like the ‘games’ in transactional analysis - methods by which we conform to the same rules and bond as a group.
Anything that is likely to cause pain or harm? No.
Anything stupid that could be found out? No.
To make myself look better at the expense of someone who can’t defend themselves? I hope not, but possibly in moments of weakness.
The worst of my lies are the ones I tell myself. They’re the hardest to spot and cause the most damage.
You have something against people who come from Crete?
To Glee as a teacher I bet you tell small “lies” every day. I am currently a pre-school teacher and lying goes with the turf, when I taught primary school it wasn’t much different.
“Oh that is a beautiful painting” - HMMM I see paint on paper.
I think there are clearly lies that if society doesn’t deem necessary, a peaceful life does “Does this make me look fat?” “Do you like my hair like this?” For example. Most cases I’ll answer truthfully because the asker is simply paranoid and is asking for affirmation that is not truely needed. Occasionally the correct answer is not the truthful answer. I will give the correct answer.
One thing I’m in the habit of is putting myself into the shoes of my friends when telling a story. Which is to say that for purposes of good story telling, it is frequently easier to put myself into the story rather than explain it was a friend and so on and so forth. This is usually for amusing anecdotes when I’m trying to basically tell a joke type story and never would I pretend I scaled Mt. Everest or anything ridiculous.
A good example of this would be stories of where I work. When people find out I dispatch police they want to hear stories. What they mean is, they want to hear ridiculous stories of people who called 911 because Burger King wouldn’t give them their fries or whatever. Because this is actually extremely rare- I will tell stories of “A call I took” or “a Call I Dispatched” that is really somebody elses story. But the story is more interesting to my listener if it happened to me.
What he said. Except at work, where I sometimes hold out false hopes to people because otherwise they will continue to waste my time with their nagging and whining, although there is not a single thing I can do to help them. The important thing is to make them go away until the problem has a chance to work itself out.
I try not to lie. But I do lie, when it’s expedient to do so and no one will be harmed by my having done so. So, no, I won’t tell you your new hair-style looks great if it doesn’t (because you might take that as advice to keep it in the new style), but I will tell you that I really liked the old way better, or else make a suggestion as to how it might be improved–such as “Hey, how do you like my new hairstyle?” “It’s okay, I think it would look nicer if you added some bangs.” But then, this: “Hey, check out this web-site. They’re giving away free gizmos if you recommend 10 people.” “Sure, send me the link and I’ll check it out when I have time.” (I won’t.)
I realize that this could be (and probably has been) the subject of its own thread, but what is the “rule” here? (I’m assuming that **AskNott ** is being serious.)
I would say I tell the truth as often as possible, so when I lie, nobody notices. So most often I lie by omission.
I could tell my mother, for example, that last night i went out with some friends, hung out with X Y and Z, talked about A, B, and C, and blah blah blah, all kinds of stuff, but leave out the part where we ended up smashed because she hates that I drink. Everybody’s happy.
I’d also say I always give the “correct” answer to a question, not the “truthful” answer. Sometimes I’ll even ask people if they want “the true answer, or the right answer”.
On the whole though, when it matters, I find that on average I seem to be more (sometimes unfortunately so) honest than many people I know.
I’m deadly serious. There are a handful of diplomatic answers to The Deadly Question, but all of them bear thorns. The asker is likely to see the most loving answer as “only being kind.” Some men can get away with kissing her while grabbing her ass, but even that is risky. If you ask 100 American women if they think their butts are too big, 107 will say yes. In most cases, it isn’t true, but you cannot get them to see the truth behind them. :smack:
I’m not really much of a liar. My general guideline for lying is, ‘‘Don’t lie.’’
And I don’t really let myself get away with things either. I was 20 minutes late for work the other day, and nobody was around to know it. But I told on myself. I constantly call myself out on my own mistakes because I don’t want anyone to think I’m one of those people who won’t take responsibility for their actions.
Because, er, that’s just how I am. If people have to make judgments about me, I want them to judge who I actually am and not the image I’ve meticulously crafted of some fake myself. I want to be able to think, ‘‘X likes me for me, not because I’ve managed to keep all of my imperfections hidden.’’
I will not say, however, that I never lie. I’m human. I can look my dentist in the eye and tell him I floss twice a day. I’m not proud of my deceit, but it happens.
I think there’s a significant difference between encouraging a kid (especially if they are nervous) and lying to them.
“That is a good first painting. Here’s some advice on how to do even better next time.”
Parents can exaggerate if they want to (or tell small kids Santa Claus exists ), but I don’t want to build up a pupil with wild exaggeration and have them get deflated.
Presumably this is why so many rubbish singers go on talent shows / auditions and are shocked when someone like Simon Cowell tells them the truth.
), but I don’t want to build up a pupil with wild exaggeration and have them get deflated.