Plutonium – a big, dim-witted, slow-moving clod who nevertheless thinks he’s smarter than the other metals. Everyone laughs at him behind his back, but is afraid to do it in front of him.
Nickle is a dandy, who wastes his family’s fortune buying drinks for everyone.
Nitrogen. Very tall, somewhat colorless boy who mixes well but always feels ignored.
Helium. Silver-colored comic superhero caricature. Usually found sticking to ceilings, saying heroic things in a squeaky voice.
Antimony. That semi-goth girl you knew in college who was bright, into RPGs and mythology, but cultivated an unsettling beady-eyed stare and a withering bitchy personality as defense mechanisms. She briefly goes with Nitrogen, but it ends badly. Mostly for him.
Beryllium. Chubby, bespectacled, sexually repressed Irish-Catholic girl with a sweet smile and unsettlingly large breasts.
Potassium. Perpetually confused Eastern European guy with bed hair and a soccer jersey worn under a cheap gray suitcoat. Always has a finger in his ear.
Manganese. Stocky, clubfooted, and round-shouldered. Peppy personality, but knows about three jokes which he tells incessantly.
Lawrencium, a dark, mysterious middle-eastern nomad with a long sword riding a horse… Hasn’t been seen since the 1960’s
Hee hee. These are great 
I can’t resist it, the link is quite insistent: (Apologies though to theodore gray)
http://theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/index.html
**Osmium (76) ** The dark, intense, quietly charismatic revolutionary, broad of face and body, whose earnest extremism inspires sympathy in any listener.
**Thorium (90) ** Uranium’s wife, her thick, round body capable of producing similar force when irate, but generally her more mild and forgiving manner give her a much more stable social standing.
**Strontium (38) ** The red faced drunk, whom, under certain influences, is prone to explosion and trouble making; under normal cirumstances, though, his large nose and rangy body display a relatively beniegn temperment.
**Vanadium (23) ** The supple, yet strong gymmnast, whose slim form performs the most intricate and technical physical feets, though she displays but little effort.
I love geek humor!
I see Plutonium as more the G. Gordon Liddy type—dangerous and a bit crazy, but he gets the job done and when the s**t starts to go down, you know you’d want to have him in your corner.