I haven’t seen or spoken to the ex since we parted ways some four years ago. I believe I gave her the advice of “Die in a fire you cold-hearted bitch”, and I assume she is holding that against me. Seemed legitimate advice at the time…
When I read that, a little bit of pee came out.
I have had two long-term relationships. The ex from the first one I have no contact with. We broke up in 1999, saw each other for the last time in 2001 or so, haven’t had any contact with her since 2002 or 2003. I know a little about her from chance events. She still lives in the same city as I, apparently she’s married (presumably to the guy she left me for), and a couple of years ago at least she was studying.
The ex from the second is my best and closest friend. We usually meet once or twice a week and email and text each other a whole lot in between. I have been thinking a little about what a new partner of mine will think about that, but on the other hand she is in a new relationship, I’ve met her girlfriend, and there doesn’t seem to be any problems. On the third hand, her number is still listed as “Princess” in my cellphone phonebook. I might want to change that.
Contact? No. Ran into one ex once, quite unexpectedly at a bar (we had dated in another city and last I had heard, before I moved to Calgary, he was in Vancouver) and he was as much of an asshole as when I dated him. Put a damper on the whole damn night though.
Track of? One. Not intentionally, you see we used to LARP and I keep in sorta contact with the group in the hopes that when I get a car I can drive up for the games (it’s a few hours once a month, and would be so worth it… I miss it a lot). But there’s an ooc section on the website and personal stuff comes up there all the time, so I know he’s still living in the city, with the same girl he was with when I left and they have one child and one on the way.
I wish him the best, and hope he’s grown up enough to take care of his family (both he and her were really into drugs when I knew them and he couldn’t keep down a job to save his life). If I do larp again of course I’ll see him (and maybe a couple more exes… it’s a small world in larp) but other than that shrugs Nope. I don’t see the point.
This made me think about something. When I found out that my ex (the out-of-contact one) had married, I thought about what I would have done had she invited me. It’s not inconceivable that she would have.
My first thought was that I would have asked a hot lady friend to go with me, get really drunk, and tear up the dance floor, while having a great time. On second thought, that seemed kinda assholish. On third thought, who cares? She’s getting married; she doesn’t (or shouldn’t) care. On fourth thought, what if the invitation was specifically for me, with no guest? Then no fucking way, that’s what.
If me ex were scheduled to be burned at the stake I might go just to cheer. Otherwise, I want nothing to do with that fanged demon from hell under any circumstances.
I’ve done the occasional google search (with varying effect, depending on which ex you’re talking about), but was never motivated, or even tempted, to contact them. The fact that I’m not on speaking terms with any of them has something to do with this. More often that not, it’s idle curiosity, and while I don’t wish them any harm or ill will, it would probably be inaccurate to say that I “care” all that much, either.
I don’t keep in touch with exes.
Mainly it’s because I’m just very bad at keeping in touch with anyone. I’m very insular, I’ve got my husband for company and I speak to my family every couple of weeks or so. I’ve got no inclination to go seeking out people from my past.
I’ve not had any amicable breakups, so there’s none of my exes with whom I have any wish to associate any longer.
Hell, I still keep in touch with my high school girlfriend. Not often, but twice a year or so we’ll exchange friendly emails. I’m on reasonable terms with most of my ex-girlfriends. My wife knows this and thinks it’s healthy. None of them live anywhere nearby, so email is our only contact.
In general, no.
I know about exhubby#2s major life events because I’m still very close to his children and their mother. None of us like him, we do like each other, and we mention him out of courtesy to duty only. “I regret to inform you that he <got married, was convicted, died>. Do you want to tell X, or shall I?”
Exhubby#1 might as well have ceased to exist 30 seconds after the papers were signed. It was a Starter Marriage – no kids, no property, no baggage.
I wish him well, but have no interest in knowing whether he is.
Never married, two long term relationships.
The first - I have heard through the grapevine where he is and what’s he doing. He is married (to the woman who he left me for. He literally just changed the name on the reception hall reservation). I ran into him once about 3 years after we split. He was completely schnockered and a complete ass. No desire to see him again.
The second AKA The Kid’s Dad - Still resides in my house. In the basement. Until last night I hadn’t seen him in over a week, but we text each other (“Mow the lawn!” “Where’s the rent?!?” “Quit being a bitch!!”) daily. There have been huge issues in the past, but we’re kind of in a truce right now. “Kind of” = last week I told him he either catches up on rent or he gets out NOW, I’m done with you.
I have not laid eyes on my psycho ex since I saw her in court after having her removed from the house under an Order for Protection, four years and one month ago.
All of our mutual friends disowned me at that point, so I don’t hear anything about her from anyone else.
I have not heard her voice since she left a message on my answering machine begging for “compassion” after I’d provided proof of her lies and fraud to her mother and stepfather 3 years, 9 months ago and they threatened to disown her.
I have not had any contact at all, in any form, since she paid off the last of her settlement debt to me 3 years and 3 months ago. At this point, any contact would be extremely unwelcome.
Occasionally I will scan the obituaries, hoping to see hers there.
Petty? No, not after what I went through.
My ex-husband was kind enough to be a pall bearer at my Dad’s funeral. We kept in contact for a few years, and then not so much. I e-mailed him a few months ago to ask a question, and he was polite in his answer. We’re both remarried, with kids by our spouses, so no real reason to communicate much.
I wouldn’t mind keeping in touch more, but it seems awkward. He’s a nice guy. I don’t want to tick off his wife, because I’m told she’s a nice lady. He seems happy, and I am, so that works for us.
I don’t keep in touch with my exes much. When I was younger, I was terrible at the not-sleeping-with-exes thing, so it became emotionally easier to cut ties.
I’m not currently in touch with the biological father of my son, but I do Google every so often to make sure I can track down at least one immediate family member if anything serious were to happen to our son (frankly, I don’t know what I’d call him for short of death.) I just did it now and found him, his mother, his father and one brother in less than 30 seconds. I also know for a fact that my mother’s number - where my ex and I last lived together - is the same, as is my grandmother’s, so even if he hasn’t kept track of me, he can contact me by sending a message through a relative. Other than that, he won’t be contacted unless my son asks me to.
My ex and I have been divorced for six years, we still talk about 3-4 times a year. One time around two years ago she was having boyfriend problems and wanted to talk to me.
No problem, right? She shows up a little tipsy and tells me about what an asshole her boyfriend is.
Fast forward two hours later and many beers later… She wants sex and wants it now dammit! I have to admit I was tempted.
I was a gentleman and slept on the couch while she slept it off in my bed.
I still consider her a friend and for the time we were married was mostly great, our personalities simply did not click.
Every now and then one of my daughters will mention her father, and not most favorably, so I have a rough idea of where he is and what he’s doing. (It will be twenty years in November since the divorce was final!) Unfortunately, he’s managed to sever most of the ties to them (his loss), so it’s not much. Anything I do hear, it’s with a slight vein of curiousity on my part–like that unexplainable pull to slow down at the scene of an accident.
Ex #2, I never legally married, but we had more of a quality relationship than #1. We split up after four years and it nearly killed me. After the split, we each took a long break from all contact with each other (about a year) because the break was so painful and I felt like I was loosing my best friend (which I was), then were able to come together as friends. Since that time, about 14 years ago, I’ve helped him recover from a bout of active alcoholism and a diagnosis and treatment for depression. I also was (emotionally) supportive through him going back to school, and when he met his wife and they decided to get married, I stood in as his best (wo)man. We talk about twice a month or so, and I really like his wife.
Ex#3, (another one not married, but a serious relationship) I Google every now and then, just so I have a good idea of where he is and what he’s doing. I’d rather he not get a wild idea about trying to find me, and as long as he’s married and with kids (which he did after we split), there’s less of a chance of him doing that. Knowing where he is and what he’s doing isn’t just a matter of curiousity–it’s a matter of beginning to prepare for battle if he should change directions in his life.
[ul]
[li] First ex-husband[/ul][/li]
He is the father of my two children so we have been in close contact for the last sixteen years. Our children are older now (19 and 17) so lately I don’t see him very often. He came over last month for our sons birthday BBQ. If it was up to me I would not speak with or see him at all. The kids are old enough now to remain in contact with him which they do. They see him about once a month.
I resent the fact that he even came to the BBQ. I feel he should contact his son and invite him to his own house or out to dinner or something on his time, not mine. My son wanted to invite him so I of course said okay and expressed no aggrevation about it. It feels like I have been in a sixteen year divorce and I am in the home stretch. Of course our kids do not know how I feel about it. It has nothing to do with their relationship with their father.
I am hoping once our daughter moves out and is on her own I won’t have to see or speak with him at all except maybe for special occasions. He lives about ten miles from me.
[ul]
[li]four year relationship[/ul][/li]
I know he was married and I know the city he lives in but that is about it. I have not spoken to him for years and have no desire to. We did not spilt up on a good note. He lives about twenty miles from me.
[ul]
[li] Second ex-husband[/ul][/li]I just spoke with him two days ago. We have remained good friends. We should have never been married and we both now it. I am however reminded almost everytime I speak to him or see him why I left him. He makes a great friend just not a good husband. He lives about two miles from me.
Do you keep track of / in contact with your ex?
NO! That’s one of the greatest benefits of divorce, not having to listen to/put up with her bullshit any more. It’s been 22 years and counting. Like the words in a Roy Clark song: “Thank God and Thank Greyhound You’re Gone”.
One long-term relationship (~3-4 years) before meeting my spouse. Last I contacted him was about 4 years after the breakup. He came out to me as gay (he’d been in deep, deep repression and denial during our relationship), and I told him I’d have understood that, though I’d have been sad. We didn’t live anywhere near each other and doing very different things in our lives, and drifted out of contact again, though I was glad we’d reconciled things. I wish him well but don’t really feel any need to look him up again.
That depends on if ‘‘officially exclusive for three days’’ counts as a relationship. I never even french kissed the guy.
I talk to him online frequently, because he is intelligent and unique. But unfortunately, he is also (or at least used to be) batshit insane and an all around weird person. Weirder than me, even.
Still, he’s interesting, and he’s become more emotionally connected now that he has been in a few more relationships of his own. We might theoretically someday be more than just online friends, though that has gone pretty badly in the past because, as I mentioned before, he is batshit insane.
My husband doesn’t really care, because he knows it was temporary insanity that led me to date the guy in the first place. All my other exes (and by ‘‘all’’ I mean, ‘‘the other one’’) are such assholes that I don’t even like being in their hometown for fear I’ll run into them again.