I live on a quiet street where most people own multiple acres of land. People tend to walk up and down the street as well so it makes it pretty easy to meet people. I genuinely like most of them and they have been good to us. We hosted a party with some of them last night and have gone to theres over the years. Then, there is Halloween. People on this street take it seriously for some reason and have lots of Halloween parties around that time so we get to see everyone a few times. We feed horses for people and they take care of our dog.
Not in my neighborhood. Go out for a walk at night and you might not come back. If I jog, I only do it during the day and I’m a pretty big guy.
I live in an apartment. I don’t really know my neighbors.
I wonder if they are Dopers…
We sort of know our neighbors. Not enough to do any sort of favor like keep an extra key, but more of a nodding acquaintance and maybe a short conversation.
This summer, though, we had problems with our neighbor. We’d replaced the rain gutters and had some installation problems when we found out that water from the gutters was spilling into her basement. No problem; the gutter company came back out and fixed the problem. It turns out that her gutters were full of gunk and that’s part of what caused the spillover. We’re back on cordial terms, but things were tense for a while. Had we not been on good terms before, the whole debacle might’ve ended up in court.
Robin
Of course. We know all the people on our floor as well as a few others in the building, one of which has the key to our place. It is sad that in reading this it seems that Americans are afraid of everyone… or at least make little effort to meet those they live next door to.
Next door to us is a lovely couple who have been married for about a thousand years. Sadly, her health is failing, but she’s still able to get up and around. My kids cut their grass.
Next to our backyard is a British chap who’s had some interesting characters around. His house is a handyman’s special and has been for the past seven years. He once had an abusive girlfriend, and his son, who’s apparently a drug addict, comes to stay with him every once in while.
On the other side of us is an empty house. The owners are over a few streets, and this is their rental. It’s currently vacant.
I had some awful ones in the past and thank goodness they’re gone. I just hope that whoever moves in next will be okay.
I know a lot of mine and we chat, exchange food, help each other out with projects, and so forth. I also have met people while walking all over the neighboring streets with a friend. I don’t mind knowing them.
There are a few here and there that are very quiet or else hide away and make it clear in an unspoken way that they don’t wish to mingle. That’s fine.
I’ve met all the neighbors adjacent to me and within view of the front. I like knowing who is around me and knowing the neighborhood has some small sense of community.
It’s also nice to know that we kinda keep an eye out for each other. That tends to happen more with folks who know each other.
My wife and I recently distributed a bunch of invitations to our nearest neighbors for a BBQ. We had about 8 people show up and we had fun getting to know each other over some hot dogs & beer. Nice people.
I live on a pretty nice street with quite a few families. I know most to say hi to, but nothing more. We don’t seem to have much in common. I seldom run into any of them at community events or restaurants (we’re a block away from lots of them). I chat fairly often with the renters next door. On the other side, the woman is mostly out of town, selling what she wants to be her ex-business. Not sure why she bought the house so soon (I think she may have had a buyer that fell through); she’s owned it for about two years now.
Wouldn’t mind knowing more neighbors better, but it doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon.
GT
I know the names of a handful of my neighbours, and don’t want to know them any better than that. There’s nothing wrong with them; I just don’t feel any particular need to socialize with people who happen to live close to me.
For those of you making fairly harsh judgements on those of us who don’t socialize with our neighbours, you should consider chilling out. Not everyone is living the same life you’re living.
No; I just like to be left alone.
Not really. When my parents moved into this neighbourhood 15 years ago, we were one of the first families to buy off an original owner. The neighbourhood was built in the late 60s and pretty much everyone who bought then was still in their house in '93.
So there were no other kids in the immediate area around our house and all of the other residents were 25-30 years older than my parents. I recognize our neighbours enough to say hi but I’ve never been in their house. The closest connection we have is with the elderly man across the street. His daughter was also in the gifted program, 20 years earlier.
It’s more of an age thing than anything else. Even 15 years later, it’s pretty much the same original owners surrounding us. They’re getting up there in age but living in the same house for 40 years, that’s kind of cool in its own way.
In the past, whenever I had neighbors over, it wasn’t long until my belongings started to go missing. I’ve lost thousands of records and CDs and a couple of guitars to people who found out I had them. So as an addendum to my previous post, I really don’t want anyone to know what’s inside my house. We already had to replace the garage door to thwart whoever it was that was taking my lawn mower out during the day and putting it back before I got home. These are not the kind of neighbors I want to know.
Doubtless there is some validity to that thesis, but it could also be that Americans prefer to base their friendships on something besides granfalloons. Except when social niceties demand otherwise, I only socialize with people whose world view interests me. There is no special reason to think my neighbors will or will not fall into that category. Once I went to a lecture on Wadi Degla (a spectacular local canyon) and fell into conversation with another woman there. It turned out she was my neighbor. So I ended up being friends with a neighbor, but it was because we had a shared interest, not a shared street address.
We grew up knowing the neighbors on all sides of our house, and played with the kids our age. I live in a condo right now and know a couple of people on my floor (which has five units) but not really by name. We all keep very different schedules, and I can go months without seeing some of them. It doesn’t really bother me much. What maybe makes a difference is that we have doorstaff, and we see them all the time. We’re moving to a three flat next week, so chances are we’ll probably know the neighbors a little better.
Apartment life isn’t conducive to becoming friendly with neighbors. At my current place, I first had neighbors on the right who didn’t speak english and never quit asking me if I had ‘computer, yes? intinet, yes?’ and neighbors on the left who I hardly ever saw. The guy was hot, though.
Now my neighbor to the left is a leering, weird man who clearly has a drinking problem. He tries to talk to me even after I’ve made it crystal clear I’m not interested in conversing with someone who can’t stand up under his own power. My neighbors to the right seem nice enough, saying hi as we pass in the hall. They have a friendly kitty. Barring an emergency or unsual event, I just have no desire to get to know them.
My complex is small, something like 70 units. There are a few I recognize and say hi in passing, but the rest could be invisible for all I care.
I know almost all my neighbors. The ones who want to keep to themselves are pretty obvious about it.
I live in a row home where everyone has a front porch, so everyone pretty much knows everyone. And, we know the people across the street.
I’m pretty neighborly though. If I get out of my car, and see someone on their porch, or working in their yard, I go talk to them. If I’m on my porch and I see them get out of their car, I yell stuff to them.
We have some of our neighbors over for food, and go to some of their houses for food.
We also watch each other’s dogs, and water each other’s plants.
I like to keep to myself. I don’t want to know my neighbors and I have very little in common with them. I don’t want people who know where I live to know anything about me. And I hate people who always hang out on their porches and stare at all your doings.
Thankfully my SO has the same opinion. We’ve lived in apartments all our lives, so that makes it easier, too. My social life is elsewhere, not in people I don’t even choose.
My neighbors in all directions speak little to no English (or at least pretend to), so there’s little conversation. If we all spoke the same language, I’d be more neighborly, but frankly, I hate people, and just hole up in my house except for work and errands.
But I do look out for the neighbors’ best interests - it’s only human. I’m not going to let something bad happen just because I don’t know the neighbors.
Joe
Yes, I know our neighbors. My family is close with about 10 other families. In the summers and when the weather is nice we hang out at least once a week, usually Friday evenings. During football season we get together every Sunday and watch 2-3 games. Our kids all play together, all the parents keep an eye (or 12) on the kids. There are big cookouts on Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Halloween, New Years, big name Boxing or MMA PPV’s, all the NFL playoff games or any other reason we decide to have a big shindig. We all help each other with things like pet sitting, yardwork, home improvement or even the occasional emergency baby sitting. Many of us are originally from Baltimore or else where in Maryland, and have no relatives nearby. There are a few neighbors who we don’t regularly hang out with or only wave to, but it isn’t because we are excluding anyone. They just don’t seem interested in socializing with us. No harm, no foul, but it’s their loss.