There are only four houses on our street (a cul-de-sac), and were are at least acquainted with all of them. When we first moved in about 12 years ago all the houses were new and there were families with kids in all of them. We became good friends with all of them and all the kids played together. At one time there were seven kids between three houses, and they were in seven consecutive grades in school.
Over the years, two of the houses have changed hands and couples or individuals without kids moved into them. We never had much in common with the new people, and never really became close. We are still friendly with the third family, but the kids don’t play together any more and we are all very busy with our own lives, so we don’t really socialize like we used to.
It’s nice knowing the people around us, though, since we can count on them to accept a package or look after the pets or make sure the kids aren’t having wild parties when we’re not home.
Yes, I know my neighbors. The woman next door to me on the right is my closest friend here in North Carolina; in addition to friend-stuff, she has my key and I have theirs, we dog-sit for each other, and we pop between our houses all the time.
Across the street from her is the classic Little Old Lady who is the one-person Neighborhood Watch. She’s the lady who met me at the mailboxes one evening and said, “I noticed you didn’t go to work yesterday; weren’t you feeling well???” “Intrusive” is putting it mildly, but it’s nice to know I won’t be left dead for days on my living room rug. She’s the one who bustled over with muffins the very day I moved in, to pick my brain about where I was from, why I had moved. She’s also the one who will be able to refer you to a great local plumber, electrician, etc., and she’s happy to take delivery of your packages, so it’s not like she doesn’t have some really good points; she’s just a busybody.
The woman next door to her (directly across the street from me) is the granola-y woman who sprang her psychic friend on me when I was having health problems, because she know the psychic friend would be able to help me by “reading” me – for a moderate fee, of course. We don’t have a lot in common and she’s quite a bit older than me (like 25 years). I think she’d like to be friends because we’re both single and that has been a bit uncomfortable because I’m just not that interested, although she is perfectly nice as a neighbor.
IME, people in North Carolina are much more “neighborly” than people in Washington State.
See, this is my nightmare. I might move if I had a woman like this as a neighbor. I hate people like this. Get out of my life! I’d honestly rather be left dead for days.
I know where it all comes from. I grew up in a very nosy community - the Indian community. People used to report back to my parents on every little activity. No privacy, ever, and they always cast teens in the worst light. Your description is making me want to crawl into a hole.
We live on a cul-de-sac where all the other families have very young children and are always out in their driveways socializing with each other. They hold block parties for every holiday that rolls around and we are always invited (and dutifully attend). They’re very nice people, but my husband and I aren’t naturally very sociable and it’s a strain to go over and make small talk. I wave to them when I see them outside, and that’s about as cozy as I’d like to get. I have my family, I have you guys…socially, I’m fulfilled.
One of the concepts I really push as a land use planner is building neighborhoods and communities, not just subdivisions or blocks of housing. I’m a strong supporter of knowing your neighbors. You don’t have to be best friends, but I think having some level of regular contact with them builds a stronger community.
I live in a subdivision of 25 lots in the country. We had a community cookout at a resident’s house on Saturday and 22 of the families were present. We pull together to do common area maintenance, we’ve undertaken some adopt-a-highway work, and we’re more than willing to keep an eye out for each other’s property, and do the collect the mail, feed the cats when I’m away sort of things.
That being said, we are also aware of why we all bought houses on at least 5 acres in the community we did - we all enjoy our privacy. I’m very, very happy with the balance we’ve struck.
On the west side of where we rent, a very good friend of ours lived (she used to be a bartender at the place he and I met) but then she got foreclosed and someone else has moved in. They make me very unhappy. They are very very rude - I don’t have time for a comprehensive list. But one incident involves partying in the driveway at 3 AM drunk and hitting your damn car alarm over and over. :mad:
On the east side of us used to live a wonderful woman who we would exchange gifts with at the holidays, we’d always talk when we’d run into each other - she moved quite suddenly, and now there’s a new woman living there who also makes me unhappy. She will bring her dog outside, chain him to her patio and then go in. When MY dog has to be walked, he sees this dog sitting there alone and goes bezerk (he hates other dogs) - he almost broke one of my husband’s ribs yanking him against the deck railing in an attempt to get at this dog. She KNOWS it’s against the association rules - she just doesn’t care.
On the east of HER is the family from HELL. I can’t even begin. They are deserving of their own thread. :rolleyes:
I’m friendly enough with most of my neighbors. Even if I don’t know their names, we’ll exchange pleasantries about gardening or whatnot. It’s nice. I like that even though we may not have much in common in terms of politics, background, or religion, we can all curse the hordes of invading groundhogs together.
I moved in just two months ago and I work the hours that my neighbors would be most likely to be coming and going. If I passed them on the street, there’s only two of them I’d actually recognize. So no, I don’t know them.
As for whether I want to know them, I can’t say I do, beyond selfish reasons. It’d be nice to have someone to let me in if I lock myself out, or to watch for suspicious or unusual things. But that’s about as deep as I’d want the relationship to be. I would hate to have neighbors who knew my comings and goings and habits and what kinds of things I owned. The idea of exchanging house keys with a neighbor makes me uncomfortable. I can barely imagine giving them my phone number.
It’s not that I don’t get out much, or that I’m “afraid” of them. To me, it’s an issue of control over my free time and privacy. I do have minor concerns about safety and security due to past break-ins and identity theft (at previous residences), but it’s mostly just not my thing. Some people are extroverted, and welcome the opportunity to hang out with the neighbors; I am not, and do not. I socialize elsewhere and am satisfied with that.
I have keys to the houses of my next-door neighbors (and they have mine). And I know where the extra key is kept for several more houses on the block.
Earlier this month we had a neighborhood block party. We had 44 adults and a couple dozen children present. Scheduled for 2 hours; lasted over 4. And we talked about the odd behavior of the 3 houses that were not present at the party.
