A few weeks ago, I left a peice o paper on some big ass black truck parked diagonally in two compact spots, such as we also blocked part of the road way. I merely scribbled “www.youparklikeanasshole.com” on it, as i didn’t have any of those handy dandy PDFs they have.
Several years ago, I was the recipient of a nasty note. A pregnant lady let me know how difficult it was for her to climb in through her passenger door because I parked so close to her, with an assortment of 4 letter words. I didn’t recall doing this, but I am truly sorry that I did. For what its worth, this was in a unmarked, triangle shaped, dirt parking lot, and parking was always an adventure there. That doesn’t excuse my poor parking, but it was most certainly an accident.
I got a note once. I was parallel parked on a street and got a really nasty and only semi-literate note to the effect of “learn to park.” I tried to figure out what the problem is… I guess I was one and a half spaces back from the curb, throwing off the alignment of the rest of the street and leaving it minus one space. The trouble is, I had taken the last spot on the street the night before, and then all of the cars around me had left overnight. Classic context problem. I eventually decided I was dealing with an asshole, and in the future when parking on that street I had to really fight the temptation to take up as much space as possible, knowing that I’d more likely inconvenience a lot of people who had nothing to do with it.
However, I am a petite driver, and when someone parks over the line I will passive-aggressively get as close to centered in my space as possible, and whoopsiedaisy I’ve blocked in the line-encroacher. 90% of the population will have a harder time getting in their car than I had getting out. But I’m properly parked! Very satisfying.
I left a note at work once. The parking lot is right outside my office door with a building at the end opposite me. It is divided so that cars park on either the left side of the lot, or the right side of the lot. The center is intentionally left open so cars can move from the North end of the lot (where my office is) to the south end (where the other building is).
One day some jerk parked their big 4x4 truck in the traffic area where there was no parking spot. It was right next to a car that was in a valid parking spot, but it was obvious that this was where traffic normally went, so this guy was blocking traffic in the parking lot.
I was barely able to get my car into my normal parking spot because of this guy. The funny thing is that there were plenty of open spots available in the lot, but this guy just HAD to park right where the traffic went. So I left a note that said the following:
It wasn’t malicious, but it did clearly explain that he was wrong to park there.
Wait, you don’t understand. I COULDN’T SQUEEZE BETWEEN THE CARS! It wouldn’t have done any good to open my door after I got in, it was too close to do any damage.
The only note I ever left was to a clueless tenant who was assigned the parking spot next to mine in the building’s lot, but clearly could never remember which one it was and ended up in my spot as often as not. I drew him/her a nice little map explaining where their spot was in relation to the corner of the fence (at the corner, actually) and that mine was one over.
At least when they took the wrong spot, I could just use theirs, but it was still annoying, especially since they didn’t figure it out on their own.
My car got keyed once, but I don’t think it was because of my parking. The key mark started right above my license plate (Québec-issued) and went around the side of the car. This happened in Ontario.
I usually don’t consider it my business, which is to say I don’t randomly “cite” badly parked vehicles I see as I ramble around town. But when it’s an assigned parking situation, and the person assigned next to me can never seem to get their oversized SUV between the lines, then I have left notes on one or two occasions. Even then I wouldn’t have cared all that much, except that my midsize sedan happens to have a poor (large) turning circle and it typical apartment garages it can be difficult to maneuver in the best of circumstances.
I got the note in St. Louis, a French village next door to Basel, because my car was a bit too close to a trucks entrance/exit which was a tad too narrow. The note was typed out in Word and came with a plastic sleeve; looked like they’re used to the problem and just print that letter out as needed. It explained that, while my car was actually parked legally, next time I used that spot it might be better if I got a bit further back so their truckers would have it easier.
A classmate in high school drove to school. He found a side street where there was usually open parking. One day he found a crazy, rambling note on his windshield from the woman whose house he had (legally) parked in front of. She explained that, although she didn’t have a car, she like keeping the space in front of her house open for visitors.
We all encouraged him to egg her on by parking there as often as possible. She left increasingly angry, crazy notes each time. One day a bunch of us snuck out of a study hall and went to his car. There wasn’t a note there yet. Originally, the idea was for us to place a really crazy note that one of us had composed. Instead, since the car was a VW Beetle, we lifted the car and moved it bit by bit until it was sitting on the woman’s lawn.
A few hours later, a town cop showed up and pulled the car’s owner out into the hall. It was the best practical joke of the year.
We didn’t get a note, but we did get to meet our new neighbors!
We had just finished moving in - my wife noticed an elderly man behind our truck, writing down the plate number. I went out to see what the problem was. We live in a small cul-de-sac, and the truck was parked smack in the front of our house, in a legal parking zone.
The gentleman indicated that the truck had been “abandoned” and he was going to get it towed. Ya, right… “Abandoned” for two hours in front of the owners house. He was listening to reason, when we heard a shrieking sound. Sort of an unearthly, horrible, nails on the blackboard, cat-spontaneously-combusting sort of noise. The man’s lovely wife had made an appearance on their front steps and was screaming at us. “GET THAT DAMN UGLY TRUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!”
It seems that the sight of our truck in front of our house offended her, and she had instructed her poor husband to eliminate it. He was about 80 years old, and looked like he’d had to live with this for quite some time now. I felt sorry for him. I let him know that the truck would be staying right there, so sorry, but that’s the way it was.
Later, when I told this story to other neighbors, they said “Welcome! You’re now officially one of us!” She’s called the cops on pretty much everyone in the area for various “offenses” like a barking dog (for a neighbor that has no dogs) or noxious weeds (which were actually tulips). I think she’s not allowed to call the police anymore, so must use her poor husband to do her crazy work for her. Poor guy.
I have fantasies of being a tow truck driver for a day. I would spend the day driving around, looking for asshole trucks and SUVs parked across multiple spaces, and I would tow them.
The thing is, if someone is enough of an asshole to park like that, they’re not going to give a shit about a note. If they gave a damn about annoying people, they never would’ve parked like that to begin with. Now, I have “accidentally” tried to open my car door into someone elses car a few times when they’ve given me only a couple of inches to get in my car. I considered it helping karma along a little bit.
I have a whole system worked out; every time you renew your plates, you get 10 special, DMV paintballs. Whenever you see someone doing something douchey while driving, you tag their car with a paintball. When they go to renew their plates, the DMV takes a look at their car and sends them to driver remedial school based on how many tags of paint they have on their car. The police may also use paint tags as the basis for keeping an especially close eye on a driver.
I’ve never gotten a note, and I’ve only left one. (I think I’ve told this story on the Dope before.)
That time, I had parked properly next to an empty spot. When I came back out (on my way to a meeting and in a bit of a hurry), there was a smalldickmobile parked less than a foot from the driver’s side. I had to get in on the passenger side and pull in my mirror so I could get out. I was so pissed by the time I finally managed to get clear, I wrote a note.
Joke was on me, though. I accidentally wrote the note on the directions to my meeting.
If you park like an asshole, you should be thankful if you get a note. As others have said, keying and other property damage are often caused by inconsiderate parking. I’m not saying that it’s right, I’m just saying that it happens.
Ok I admit I am one of those people that park badly. Now it’s not on purpose. I am in a hurry and think to myself “I am only running into the store for one minute” I park as far away from the store with at least three rows from all cars. Here is what happens in that minute. Someone parks next to me after the fact that I intentionally parked badly. This person that decided to park thier car on either side of me which was open leaves me a message. So a thousand apologies. I would like to add to the person that left me the message “Did you get your lisence out of a craker jack box?” I say F.U. You decided to park next to me when there were plenty of spaces available lol
