So on Sunday, I went with a couple of friends to Serramonte, a mall a few miles south of San Francisco. Brendan wanted an Orange Julius, and Marty wanted the signed, framed photo of Willie Mays. Bastard. I wish I had $500 to blow on a picture of the Catch.
Anyway… the parking lot, and pretty much the entire area, was packed, so I didn’t even attempt to get parking close to the mall; I went around in front of the now-defunct Good Guys location, a few hundred feet away, across the street. I was driving along the lane and I passed an SUV whose left wheels were about two feet into the adjoining space. I started bitching about jackasses like that, as anyone who knows me could no doubt imagine, and then stopped and reversed. “Screw this,” I thought, and I told Brendan, riding shotgun, to get out. I squeezed into the space as close as I possibly could to the SUV, and managed to squeeze in with about six inches to spare on my left. Wasn’t quite satisfied, so I re-parked, this time even closer to the SUV. No way anything could get through that door, if they could even reach the door handle in the first place.
As much as I’d like to end this with a crazy tale about angry, self-righteous yuppies and how we defeated them with creatively profane insults and mastery of the sword, we returned to the car with not as much as a nasty note. I was a bit paranoid about coming back to my third broken window- well, I guess it isn’t paranoia when it’s entirely justified- but I apparently Jesus II hadn’t yet returned to his chariot, and we left without incident. I looked around for those fake “You parked like a jackass” tickets I’ve seen here and on FARK, but I couldn’t find them. Oh well, I doubt I face a dearth of opportunity to use them.
I just want to say thanks for not hurting their car. No, I am not a shitty parker. But I see far too many people who will take their aggression out in a concrete way, by keying the offender’s car, or taking some other physical action that causes damage. I understand the frustration, but that’s just a really, really mean-spirited thing to do. Cars are very expensive, and no one deserves to have a crime perpetrated against them, just because they failed to park exactly between the lines.
I fully advocate the close-parking (at the risk of your own car) and the written notes, though.
I came across a car parked on the line between two parking spots. He of course parked this way so his new Escalade doesn’t get door dings. I pulled in next to him as if he parked like a regular driver (Read: I parked on the line taking two spaces next to him)
When I came out of the store someone else parked next to him just as I had… and someone was just right of them on the line as well. Four cars in a row.
Ok, let me get this straight. They were parked too far to the left, and you parked in super close on your left. This implies you backed into the space and exited your vehicle by climbing over Brendan’s vacant passenger seat and out the right door.
That right? Or did you actually nose in to park in close on your right – first asking Brendan to exit while his (right) door was clear?
So you have a history of harassing fellow parkers? Anything you can tell us about, or are suits still pending?
The way I read the OP was that[ol]
[li]The SUV was parked with his left wheels over the line.[/li][li]Troy parked in the space to the left of the SUV, which the SUV was partially occupying.[/li][li]He was able to do this and still have about 6 inches of space on the left side of his own vehicle within the painted lines[/li][/ol]
You know what really sucks? When you park like an asshole to accommodate other assholes, and then they leave before you do.
Like this weekend. I was parking in a crowded garage, and some jerk had parked crooked in his place, and since there were no other spots, I was forced to park crooked in mine. When I came back, jerk was gone and there was my sad little car, nearly diagonal in a straight space and one wheel over the line. Arrgh!
I hate people who can’t park. Well, not exactly. I hate people who don’t realize they can’t park. I can’t parallel park worth a damn, so you know what I do? I don’t parallel park. I’m with Necros on the “don’t hurt the car” thing. That’s not just common sense and obeying the law, that’s protecting your own vehicular karma.
Like Troy, however, I am definitely not above making it extraordinarily difficult for said over-the-line parker to get back into their car. I have also gone out of my way to make it difficult for them. If someday I come back to discover that some dickhead with an H2 has run over my entire car because I parked too close, I’ll accept that with minimal bitching and much insurance reimbursement, because I know I was inside the lines.
They’re static cling, so they leave absolutely no residue. They will, however, leave your victim with a heart attack thinking there’s a real sticker on their precious car.
I’ll buy that. But Troy’s narrative did lead me to think that he was concerned with the space between him and the SUV. After all, up to that point he was all SUV, SUV, SUV.
Yes, I’d read that the lot was packed. I even assumed there would be a third car parked to the left of Troy’s space. That still wasn’t enough to make me realize that “on my left” meant “between me and the car parked to the left.” After all. What did that poor innocent third car have to do with a shittily-parked SUV? It was just there.
All of which goes to show that language is a virus from outer space. <sigh>
No, as FatBaldGuy correctly explained, I parked like a normal human being. The detail of note is that by parking more or less normally in my spot is that the passenger side of my car was a few inches from the driver side of the encroaching SUV (which was my intent). I made Brendan get out because he would be trapped had I not. I made mention of the six inches to spare on my driver side to make clear that I parked entirely within my own spot.
No, Bright-Eyes McGee, I don’t. (Though I did leave a nasty note on a car whose alarm was screeching then entire five minutes I spent at the adjacent gas station.) The two previousbreak-ins were by-products of theft. Next time, try stretching your calves because jumping so far to conclusion.
I make no claims that this was The Right Thing To Do, and I suppose you could say it was harassment. But I sure as hell ain’t gonna lose any sleep over inconveniencing some jerk who can’t fit a car between two lines.
Parking in the municipal garage I found a new fancy overpriced car taking up TWO space on the first ramp.
On walking out the parking attendant [fee collector] was advised of violation.
He said the car would be ticketed and charged for two spaces and a citation for improper parking.
Now, I’ve gotta call bullshit on this. If you park somewhere where there are lots of spaces (when YOU pull in), how do you know the lot won’t fill up while you’re off doing your business? In a public parking lot with lines painted, the spot you are allotted is one spot only, between said painted lines. If you can’t handle this, you need to not park in public lots.
My experience with shitty parkers - we went out to dinner, and when we came out to my car (parked beautifully between the lines, because I actually know how to make my car go where I want it to), we were parked in so closely on both sides that we couldn’t get in to my (small) car. I left a mostly-polite note on the car on the driver’s side pointing out to them that their parking job had cost me the ability to get into my car, and the owner of the car came out just as I left the note. Moral of the story - don’t put things on other people’s cars that you don’t want to get caught leaving.
Who, me? There’s not much to tell - the ending is anti-climactic. He pulled the note off his window, read it, drove away. I got in my car, and drove away. I just felt kind of stupid getting caught putting a note on someone’s car. No grudge sex at all. Well, maybe he had angry, bitter sex with his wife later, with thoughts of punishing people who leave notes on his car rampaging through his mind.
