I have 3 sisters, two of whom are close to me in age & one who is 7 years younger than I am. I am not close to any of them, in fact I can’t stand to be around them or to talk to them.
Can someone help me understand why some people have close relationships with their brothers &/or sisters? I read a lot of true crime books, & I am constantly amazed at the descriptions that are given of sibling relationships. I just can’t see it. This is probably a really rotten thing to say, but if one of my sisters was murdered I wouldn’t miss her at all.
From what I’ve seen, I’d have to say that most people don’t get along with their siblings very well, at least not until they are much older. But there are some exceptions-
The people I know who actually get along with their siblings, for the most part, grew up in very chaotic households- someone was an alcoholic, someone beat them, etc. My theory is that ‘normal’ people DON’T get along with their siblings (instead they compete with them), but screwed-up people do, because they HAVE TO. They can’t be fighting with their brothers and sisters because they have much bigger problems to worry about.
Growing up with my siblings we fought. My older brother worked out, so my little brother and i (much skinnier) would temporarily team up. The little brother made up with size/age by using weapons (cords, sticks, he had no problems). Then the next day, it will be a fist fight a random 2 of us. BUT, anytime we had problems with kids at school, we’d back each other up. (well, we couldn’t back my older brother up - but he was a football jock anyway)
Few years later, when we’re all out of the house and i couldn’t wish for any better sibblings. As much as we fought and told each other we hated them, i don’t feel as though i have better friends or look up to anybody else more.
we jokingly refer to it as one of those ‘typical irish’ families
Flowers,
I am guessing that you are young and still living at home.
I grew up with 3 brothers and 3 sisters, giving some credence to busy house. Some of us are closer than others but in general I think we are a great bunch and if anyone was murdered, I would miss them dearly.
I have one sister (three years younger). Like most kids and teenagers we fought every chance we got.
My mother used to tell us that one day we would learn to get along and like each other because, in the end, we would realize that we always would have each other, no matter what else happened in life. Of course, we both scoffed at such nonsense.
Like most people in life, you only learn to appreciate your parents’ wisdom when you, yourself are an adult. And so it is with us. My sister and I are very close and I don’t think I could imagine life without her. I always enjoy spending time with her and her husband (and the fact that her kids practically worship me doesn’t hurt either ). My wife has come to look at my sister as another sister of her own as well.
My brother is almost 11 years younger than me. Our relationship is probably a bit different than that of most people with siblings. My feelings towards him are almost pseudoparental–when he was just a tyke, I babysat him a lot. I love him dearly–I missed him the most when I moved out for college. And now he’s getting old enough that we can have more adult conversations. I really enjoy talking with him, and I think it will be fun when he actually is an adult.
My brother is almost 11 years younger than me. Our relationship is probably a bit different than that of most people with siblings. My feelings towards him are almost pseudoparental–when he was just a tyke, I babysat him a lot. I love him dearly–I missed him the most when I moved out for college. And now he’s getting old enough that we can have more adult conversations. I really enjoy talking with him, and I think it will be fun when he actually is an adult.
I have two brothers and one sister. I adore my brothers. They have always taken care of me…literally. My mom had “problems” (see Surreal and Exor’s posts) and my father is dead. My brothers took over a lot of the parenting. Of course, they parented differently. I am probably the only person my age that got to see Bon Scott play with AC/DC. Even got a little baby-tee shirt.
My sister decided recently that she hates me and emailed me to let me know (such class!) she never wants to see me or hear from me again. Although we have never been close, this hurts me very much. I love her. I don’t even want to think of her being murdered. But I miss her, and really wish she didn’t hate me. It just doesn’t seem right.
One of six daughters here. I love all my sisters, but when I was younger I fought with the two closest to my age constantly. Like others have said though, as we’ve aged we’ve become friends. Not best-girlfriend, pour-out-your-heart, blood buddies–but friends nonetheless. The exception to this is the fourth oldest who NOBODY likes, not even my mom, because she’s such an insufferable bitch.
bella–who envisions this thread going to IMHO any minute now
I’m seven years older than my brother, and we got along ok, with the normal fighting and rivalry stuff up until he turned 17 or 18. At that point, it was as if someone’d turned a switch and he transmogrified from some annoying twit-child into somebody reasonably mature & agreeable to get along with.
Since then, we’ve become very close. For what it’s worth, our family life was surprisingly sedate, with no real personality conflicts between members.
I personally think it has a LOT to do with parental example- both my parents are very close to their siblings.
I adore my brother, the esteemed Billdo. I probably spend more time with him than I do with anyone other than my husband. I talk to him on the phone a lot, too, except that he has this really annoying habit of reading the boards while I’m talking to him.
We got along as we were growing up. He was uncommonly tolerant of his pain-in-the-ass little sister. We were always friends. Of course we fought sometimes, but not nearly as bad as most siblings. My mother claims that this is because we are 4 years apart, and that siblings born closer together fight more. I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s her contention. (We didn’t have a chaotic home life.)
I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. My older brother did not live with us much, he preferred living with our grandmother but we are good friends. I don’t see my sisters or younger brothers much even though we all live within a 30 mile radius. We are civil with each other when we get together.
My brother that is a year younger than me is a different story. I hate him with a passion and will spit upon his grave when his worthless life ends. Since junior high, he has stolen from me and other family members. He even stole my mothers Christmas money one year to feed he drug addiction. I personally paid for him to go to drug treatment once and he rewarded me by getting arrested for breaking into a dentist’s office the day he was released from rehab. Since the early 80’s, he has attempted to use my name when confronted by the police. I have spent the past 3 years clearing my name with the cities of Tacoma and Puyallup, Pierce, Lewis,and Benton counties, and the state of Washington because they accepted my name as his. His latest incarceration was even under my name, not his. I have had my driving privilege suspended 3 times because of him, was denied a VA home loan and I pay higher insurance premiums on my vehicles because of him. He is currently serving a 7 year sentence for drugs and parole violations at McNeil Island state prison. The state has already paid for a kidney transplant to keep him alive. Last fall I was contacted about coming in for a test to see if I was a compatible liver donor because his liver is failing. I flatly refused to participate and told the person that my liver was more important to me than than it would be to him. He is still my brother and I love him but his life means nothing to me.
I have a brother and a sister. My sister is 4 years younger than me and my brother is 6 years younger.
We get along decently well, though there are lots of fights. Just yesterday, there was an attempted fistfight between my siblings which ended only after they remembered that neither one of them could actually throw a punch and all they would end up doing is circling each other at arm’s length.
They hang together a lot more than they talk with me, though. They have mutual friends and go on bicycle rides together. I’m just the older sister, they’re friends.
I have one sister who is 1 1/2 years younger than I am and have gotten along since I was about 13 (I’m 19 now). We used to fight like normal siblings, but then one day we grew out of it. Now we hang out together all the time and I can’t imagine not being friends with her. There isn’t any sibling rivalry - probably because we’re good at different things - and I think the longest we have stayed mad at each other has been half an hour. She told me the sweetest thing the other night - that I was the only person she felt comfortable farting in front of. <insert loveheart smiley>
For what it’s worth, our family is about as nuclear as it gets. I don’t know why we get along so well - we just do.
I love all of my siblings very much. That’s not to say that we didn’t fight, or that we didn’t rally together for strength in the face of ‘problems’. Not that problems are rare. EVERY family has something that could be their problem: too much or too little money, mental/physical/drug/alchohol/sex abuse, infidelity, mental illness, etc. I dare you to find a family that doesn’t have problems.
I am the third child of four and the only girl. We mostly get along fine now. There were adjustment periods when we had to get used to the person they became when they got married. My little brother is just 2 years younger than me and I pretty much was and still am his pseudo-mom (he lives w/ me too). I get stories every once in a while from when we were kids of how I used to ‘mother’ him. My middle-but-older brother just had a get together in PA and I was amazed that even though we hadn’t seen each other in 6 months, we still got into step pretty quickly and nothing seemed forced or ‘polite’.
My oldest brother on the other hand, I just found out has been mad at me for two years. For something that’s unfounded and none of his biz anyway. He had been slowly distancing himself. I’d been contemplating a pit rant about it but it still hurts in a way, because I don’t know how I can have so much family, but feel like I’ve got none at all.
I’ve got one brother, four years younger than I am. We’re not close in the calling-every-day sense or anything (very different personalities, and neither of us is much of a phone-talker) but we get along fine.
I can certainly understand why some people don’t like their siblings – it sounds like some of the folks in this thread have very good reasons – but I do think it’s rather strange and quite sad.
I don’t really like my sister. She is very irresponsible, She got knocked up and wasn’t sure who the father was. She doesn’t return phone calls and if you can get her on the phone, she does not have anything to say. She has no common sense.
I’ve tried to get along with her, but it seems impossible.
I have an older brother (1 year 3 months older) a younger brother (1 year 5 months younger) and a younger sister (5 years 4 months younger).
Growning up we (the brothers) got along most the time had some minor fights, and a few end all be all brawls. As teens we hated each other at times. My older brother and I ran around together throughout highschool, while we fairly ostracized my younger brother. My little sister had it rough with 3 older brothers. she was the baby so of course was pampered, but she rough housed with the best of them, and came away with the scrapes to prove it. She is still only 17 and if she does ANYTHING I was doing at 17 I’ll kill him and glare at her all mean like.
Now we get together famously, my older brother is one of my best friends, and even though he moved away we visit each other often. My little brother drops by my house, where he knows he is always welcome. My little sister is still in the drama of High School, and does not always take teasing with a grain of salt.
I’m the youngest of eight children. We all share the same mom and are products three different fathers. Mom’s first husband and she had two girls and a boy; second husband and she had two boys and two girls; third husband (my Dad) and she had me. My next oldest sibling is nine years older than me and my oldest sibling is twenty six years older. All were grandparents by the time my son was born in 2000. Two of my oldest siblings, a brother and sister from mom’s first marriage, have passed away.
The degree that we “get along” is loosley based upon how much older my siblings are than me. Some of my older sibs were already parents when I was born, and may have lived several states away; some still lived at home as teenagers. Hence, the older ones were little more than acquaintances to me.
The sibs that had the greatest impact on my life were my brother (9 years my senior, father of two, grandfather to one) who abused me as a youngster. Abused alcohol and drugs as an adult and then convinced my mom to re-mortgage her house (my childhood home!) to cover gambling and drug-related debts. He subsequently stopped making payments and the house was foreclosed upon.
My sister (11 years my senior, mother of three, grandmother to three) who was a loose gal but luckily didn’t get pregnant or catch a social disease while she lived under mom’s roof! She meddlesome but in a good way.
And another brother (14 years my senior, father of two, grandfather to three) who was a tough guy, ex-navy boxer and alcoholic. He broke my nose, blackened both my eyes and split open my lip in a fistfight that I stupidly picked with him when I was sixteen (he was THIRTY!) and he called me a baby.
Surprisingly, we all get along well. We hit our bumps along the way but we now find that hurt feelings are easier healed than physical wounds.
I have 3 sisters, two of whom are close to me in age & one who is 7 years younger than I am. I am not close to any of them, in fact I can’t stand to be around them or to talk to them.
). My wife has come to look at my sister as another sister of her own as well.