Not movies but news shows, my gf gives me her version of the news as they are delivering it. So I never get to hear the TV version. I have a bad habit of trying to diagnose the disease on House, she gets mad when I get it right.
It’s never Lupus.
Mom narrates. Jay and I do reply to whatever the TV has said sometimes (not in the theater), but she narrates, comments on the clothing, on facial gestures, on decoration, on anything.
The woman is watching the evening news and remarks “they’ve already shown that” (yes, in the advance at the beginning) “what a horrible blouse. I don’t like that blouse.” “oh, I see the sports guy is back from vacation. He must have been on vacation, he wasn’t there last week”…
She does have a brain-to-mouth filter but switches it off in front of family. Anything that pops up must be left out or it will encyst.
Shit, if it was for the first time only! My maternal grandmother has always been completely incapable of paying attention to the movie; if we were in the house she kept coming and going, but her daughters say she did the same in the theater. “Who’s that?” “The guy.” “How do you know?” “Because she’s on screen all the time! If you paid attention you’d know it too!”
My daughter was the same way, and many times she would ask questions about things she should know about. It took a while for us to realize she was really asking about the motivations of the characters, not so much the plot points that lead us there.
She’s much better now.
Here’s something my wife has started doing lately. We’ll be watching a movie or TV show and she’ll see an actor/actress that she recognizes from something else. So she starts with the “Who’s that?” question, and when I say I don’t know, she’ll grab her tablet and go to IMDB to figure out who the person is, and then she will start reading me their IMDB page. :mad:
Gahhhh…
this thread made my blood pressure rise just reading it!
this thread made my blood pressure rise just reading it!
On the flip/converse/whaever side my EX had this IMO crappy habit…
We would watching some movie that we (well I) had seen before. There would be some critical scene that needed to be seen or heard or understood to “get it later”. Like all of five fucking seconds.
She could NOT break away from fucking facebook or farmville for even that long to see that…even with me prodding her too…
Then later in the movie she “doesn’t get it”.
Well no shit bitch, you missed the important point 5 minutes ago.
Hubby and I are both quiet while watching but afterwards, we analyse. We have a normally intelligent nephew who can sit with eyes glued to the screen yet constantly asks what is going on. We often consider the use of duct tape.
Noisy distractions are annoying and rude, so we rarely attend movie theaters.
My mother comments on most movies: “I think I’ve seen this one before”, even if the movie has just premiered. She used to say things like “I bet that guy did it” every two minutes while watching mystery shows as well.
My wife often asks “what did that guy say?” because English is not her first language (closed captioning is a godsend), and now she has started doing the “I think I’ve seen this movie before” thing as well.
You just described my wife exactly. Last night, for example, watching Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s infuriating. And she complains that I binge-watch series without her.
I live with someone worse than a narrator. She’s a movie ignorer. If she’s watching a movie, it keeps her totally engrossed to the point of letting food burn on the stove etc. If someone else is watching a movie on TV, she’ll enter the TV room and blab about random stuff so you can’t watch the movie without interruptions.
Most any movie that I watch (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings etc.) will be labelled as a “violent movie” by her although she’ll get completely absorbed in movies such as Die Hard, and when I call her on it, she’ll explain that she’s watching it for something besides the violence, namely because the hero is a “nice guy” (usually actors she likes such as Mel Gibson).
This reminds me of my ex father in law who would read catalogs to anybody within earshot. He was a talker, that one, and never seemed to notice that the targeted listener was neither interested nor actually listening. As annoying as he was, it was fun to watch him and my ex interact. When he found an exciting catalog and started reading to my ex, ex would ignore him and actually walk out of the room and FIL would follow him still reading. When ex moved out of the house, FIL would call him up and read catalogs to him. Ex would continue doing his computer stuff, ignoring FIL on the phone. A few times I also saw him put the phone down and go make a sandwich or something, then come back and FIL would still be happily talking.
Just my guess: people who do this are daydreaming while staring at the screen.
My brother’s wife is completely uncomfortable with any ambiguity. If there is a plot point that doesn’t immediately make sense, or an unexpected development she instantly starts asking questions about what’s going on and expecting answers. I’ve said to her before during a movie, “you have the same data as the rest of us, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
I am the world’s greatest SIL. Or so my MIL says.
Back when I had a 30-ish minute commute home from a M-F office job I used to call her most days as I got in the car. I said “Hi Mom!” and she started nattering. I could leave the phone on speaker + mute & listen to CDs all the way home. Nearing the house I’d go off mute & say “I’m almost home to see your daughter. Gotta go.” She’d say “Enough about me. How was your workday?” I’d say “About the usual: nice people; frustrating work. Bye-bye.” And that was my commute.
Given that she lived alone, didn’t drive, and had not too much social life, I don’t know how she never ran out of stuff to say, but she never did. Nor did she ever pause to take a breath in that 30 minute *ad lib *soliloquy.
Oh god. My mother is the worst!
One of her favorite things to do is say she doesn’t want to watch the movie when you’re about to start it, then she’ll start watching it about forty-five minutes in and ask ALL OF THE QUESTIONS about what happened up to now. Then she’ll talk about how she doesn’t understand what’s going on. Then she’ll talk about what’s happening in the movie right now. Then she’ll talk about what she thinks is going to happen next.
OR! OR!
She’ll decide since she’s not watching it you’re not really watching it either, and will keep trying to start conversations with you in the middle of it (or especially toward the end), and then get pissy when you keep trying to watch the goddamned movie you carefully explained to her you were going to start watching over half an hour ago in an attempt to curb this bullshit behavior.
She also does the “Who’s that guy? Why did he just murder that other guy?” when it’s the opening scene of the movie or whatever. YOU HAVE BEEN WATCHING AS LONG AS I HAVE! For the love of God, stop talking. Just stop talking. Stop talking.
She drives the family insane with this, except for my brother because they are kindred spirits. It is driving me crazy right now thinking about it.
Ooooooh, my fiancé is a movie questioner. “Who’s that?” Well, honey, if you just sat down and watched the movie you’d know. “Why is he doing that?”
I get sooo frustrated because he will never actually sit down and watch a show with me. He doesn’t like ANY of my shows…but he will “sample” them as he goes by and expects me to narrate the plot, etc. This has caused many tense feelings when I snap at him and go “I’m WATCHING! I don’t know! It hasn’t happened yet.” Sometimes when he wanders in I immediately pause the show and look at him expectantly.
Yet, I love him dearly. I must, to put up with it!
I live with a cat, but my friend P will often come over on weekends to watch a DVD or streamed movie at my house.
She is not a narrator but she asks far too many questions and gets easily confused. Or she wants to know what’s going on and why something is happening instead of waiting for the reveal or resolution.
Sometimes I issue a moratorium because I get tired of pausing the film due to her constant “need” for explanations.
My husband has the uncanny knack of walking into the room just as the big plot point reveal is about to happen and start talking to me. I will be literally sitting on the edge of my seat, completely engrossed in what’s going on on the screen but he doesn’t seem to notice. Since I’m normally knitting or something when the TV is on, you’d think this would be a big clue that what I am watching is really interesting. 
And this is why people are such a-holes in movie theaters; because they’re so used to incessantly talking during movies at home they forget how to act in public. Sorry, I’m being harsh - I don’t really mean that anyone here’s loved ones are jerks. Hell, I have irritating people in my life that do some of these things and that’s why I prefer to watch movies by myself and hardly ever go to the theater anymore. When the boyfriend used do it I’d just pause the movie and stare at him with an “are you finished?” look on my face. He got the clue but not nearly soon enough.
Oh, God, yes, Mr. brown is a movie narrator / snarker/ MST3K-er. That is, if it’s a movie I like but doesn’t interest him - much. He has gotten intrigued by Downton Abbey (I know, not a movie), but has not watched from the beginning and keeps asking “Who’s that pratt?” “Who’s she?” There’s no way to tell him the entire history of every character and plotline.
I’ve gotten into the habit of getting up at 4:30 a.m. so that I can watch by myself movies or TV shows that he dislikes. The “captions on” function helps, because I can keep the sound low.