I do see a difference between “Do you need change back?” and “Do you need your change back?” In other words, sometimes a group of people has all twenties and needs change back in order for each person to get his/her change. Sometimes you are paying with a credit card and still need change for someone at the table to be able to reimburse the person charging the meal. I am not offended by “Do you need change back?” because the waiter just needs to know the intention.
It doesn’t happen to me often, but I too am annoyed at wait staff in restaurants asking if I want my change back (of course I do - I often tip more than the change I receive anyway). I encountered an even more galling situation a year or so ago at a fast food place.
I went to the drive thru, placed my order and was told the total, drove to the window, paid, and received the change. A minute later, the cashier told me “We don’t have [one item I’d ordered].” I said that’s fine, would you please change it to [other item, slightly less expensive]? The girl said sure, and told the cook/ preparer what I wanted instead. A few minutes later, she handed my revised order out to me. I took it but continued to look expectantly at her. She looked back at me, and I said, “There was a price difference in the items I paid for and the items I got; I need back what I overpaid.” I’d calculated it in my head, it was 38 cents. The cashier said, “You need that back?!” like she would be doing me a favor by giving me correct change. It wasn’t the money, but the principle. I haven’t been back since.
Hrm. I guess I interpret this question differently than many people. I assume that the server hasn’t counted the money s/he’s been handed, and therefore doesn’t know if it’s exact change. Also, it saves me (and the server) time if I don’t have to wait for change that I intend to leave as a tip anyway. So I don’t mind the question. I guess in the example with the $3 tab being paid with a $10 bill, that reasoning can’t be applied, but I just think of the question as a reflex, not as grubbing for a tip.
Well, I agree the right thing to say is “I’ll be right back with your change”. However an indignant reaction with critisism is probably only warranted in certain situations. I mean, if I’m at a sit down restaruant where there is a typical waitress then yes that question shouldn;t be asked ever, and a response is reasonable. Its safe to assume that there is no good reason to ask the question besides pandering for more money but effectively assigning your own tip (as the server). However if you have what I’d call a cocktail waitress, basically a person running around a bar and grill dropping off wings and taking drink orders ask you this, I say save the piss and vinegar. These people are usually running around quite a bit more than at a restaruant and have to make a trip to the register a million times for every item ordered. I give them a break on this one because its reasonable to assume that they are hoping to save themselves a trip and not have to meter out change while juggling a platter full of tequila shots.
Basically you’re right, but its not always classy, tactful or justified to scold (however politely) the server in every situation. These are people we’re dealing with, not robots. Communication isn’t always an exact science, and I don’t necessarily expect my waitress to carefully craft her words in all occasions. The exception being when I’m at a expensive restaruant when one should expect the servers to be nearly flawless.
I’m not sure if this makes a difference to you, but I am a regular at this bar. I’m pretty sure she was new. While I have heard this question many times, this is the only time I have spoken to my server about it. If she continues to work there, we will have an ongoing relationship. I don’t want to hear this question every time she waits on me.
I looked at it more of us having a dialogue about it, not me scolding her. (Although my OP didn’t quite properly convey that.) I told her things, she told me things. It was in a nice, civilized manner. I even apologized to her if I sounded rude, because I didn’t know her true intention. I just told her what that question means to me.
Well, if no one else is going to heartily speak up for the “do you need change?” query, I guess it’s up to me. [Actually, vix recently did, but I typed this up a few hours before actually posting. No tip for my slow service, I guess!] When applicable, it lets me leave the tip I want to leave while saving the server an unnecessary trip back. No fuss, no muss. Incidentally, I have NEVER had a server count the money before asking this question, so it’s not as I’ve ever seen anyone posing the question in a bid for a 50% tip.
But what I like best about the question is that it cuts through what I consider to be the absurdity of tipping itself. This is not to say that I don’t tip or don’t tip generously. It’s just that I wish the custom did not exist. I’d much rather that the price of service was included in the price of the product. There are plenty of ways for customers to provide feedback to restaurants that fail to provide adequate service, the most obvious being the level of patronage itself. It shouldn’t be up to the customer to assign a dollar amount to the service, especially as a percentage of the price of the food purchased, which has little to do with the effort that was involved in getting it to the table. Plus, I consider myself considerably above average at math, but I blew the math on a tip recently and tipped some poor chap about 11% (in my defense, beer was a large portion of both the bill and my bloodstream at the time ;)). So, I can only imagine the trouble that people who are bad at math have in coming up with the right tip (sorry if you’re reading this, Mom).
But given that tipping does exist, and isn’t going away anytime soon, I love the ½ a penny story!
I’m hoping this is a typo.
The accepted standard for tipping is now 15% - 20% of the bill. Food prices didn’t go up nearly as fast as general cost of living did in the past few decades, so the percentage increased (no, I don’t know who decides these things).
Restaurants are allowed to pay waiters less than minimum wage, and they do. I recently found out this applies to many food delivery people as well. If you don’t like the concept of tipping, that’s fine, but you should take your complaint to the business or even the Department of Labor. It’s not a noble gesture to deprive a server of his or her living wage in order to object to the practice of tipping in general.
Thank you, InternetLegend.
I wasn’t going to say anything, but you are exactly right.
Having read a portion of the thread that concerns itself with “ordering in” (delivery), I am wondering what the concensus of the group is/was regarding so-called “free delivery”.
Back in my college days, Domino’s used to advertise free delivery and if a group of us pitched in for a pizza we very often had “just enough” to cover the cost of the pizza plus a very small tip. We never skipped giving a tip, but because the delivery was supposed to be “free”, we didn’t feel badly if it was the change remaining from the purchase and not the then-standard 10%. So I guess my question is , did any of you skip the tip because it was supposed to be free delivery and because you figured (as we did) that the driver was being paid hourly?
Then Domino’s had the “guaranteed delivery time”. (“There in 30 minutes, or it’s free!”). We “stuck-em” on that one a few times, but always gave a tip anyway, figuring that it was a new driver who might have gotten lost.
Anyway, my point is that those were guilt-free times because the restaurant had made a commitment which they were obligated to honor, and to my recollection no delivery person ever got the “red-ass” about it.
As an “aside”, I really like the payment structure in Germany where the gratuity is included and just round off to the nearest whole DM. But being used to tipping in the USA, I very often go 2-3 DM’s.
Too long a post, probably, but you know what? I miss those days when we had to scrape up the funds for a “Dime-A-Blow’s” order! There was a camaraderie there, and we always seemed to have enough.(Or maybe it was the Old Milwaukee!:D)
{/hijack]
Quasi
I know this comment was directed at Jeff Olsen, but I want to clarify in case anyone misunderstands me. I am not against tipping in any way, shape or form. I worked as a waitress for 3 years to get through college, and am well informed about how much they get paid. And how hard they work.
I simply believe that I shouldn’t be asked if I want my change. Have you ever ordered a drink at the bar, given the bartender your cash, and he asked if you wanted change? Never, in my experience. IMO, bartenders are generally busier than servers, and this question coming from one would be absurd. I don’t see why it would be acceptable for servers to ask it.
Given the opportunity, I would have told her to keep the change and save her a trip back to my table. Which, BTW, is a silly notion. Servers usually know how to multi-task, and can drop change while they are bringing ketchup to table 23. Like I said, I’ve been there, done that.
That’s right, monster, I forgot to add that I don’t like feeling like a server is demanding a tip, either. It’s especially presumptuous when she seems to be demanding a 30% tip.
Hey, hold on here! Yes, I did say at least 10%. Please don’t assume that I am cheap and tend to tip 10%. Tips depend on the situation, yes I do on occasion tip just a bit more than 10% but almost always it’s 15% or so.