Ok, so I go to my local watering hole last night to play some trivia and drink some beers. At the end of the night, my friend and I pay our $30.75 tab with two $20 bills. We have every intention of letting our server keep the change.
As she takes the little tray away she asks, “Do you need change back?” Now, this little phrase irritates me to no end. So, I reply, “Well, if you don’t give me my change, what are you going to do with it?” She blinks and says, “Ummmmmmm, what do you mean?” So, I told her how rude it is to ask that question. I informed her that basically, she is asking me if she can have my change. I clued her in to the fact that she should just come back with my change, and if I want her to have it, I will just leave it on the table. Of course, I said all of this in the nicest way possible.
She was a little taken aback, but agreed that it is a slightly rude way of asking for my money. She said (although I’m not quite sure I believe her) that she won’t ask that question anymore. Ahhh, I feel better now.
During my serving days, I’d take the money and say “I’ll be right back with your change.” If the person had intended to leave the change as a tip, they would usually say “Keep it.” or “That’s ok.” Sometimes, I’d come back with the change and they’d be gone. But, I’d avoid asking any questions if it were possible (would you like more tea, do you need more napkins, etc.), I’d try to anticipate them before they asked. But, then again, that was just me.
I, too, hate that question. It’s like begging, ya know? I also hate that little uncomfortable “wait”, when someone stands there waiting for a tip. Trust me, if I’m going to leave a tip, I’ll leave it in the little leather folder, write it on the credit slip or let you know. No need to stand there, like a dog waiting for scraps. Eeewww, no decorum at all.
I do agree that the question lacks tact, but I also think you’re too easily irritated for your own good. And while saying “I’ll be right back with your change” is ideal, I would rather have someone ask if I need change than send them off to retrieve it just so that I can leave it on the table for them.
Sometimes when neither Angie or I feel like fixing dinner, we’ll order in. One night we opted for Chinese delivery, about $15 for the two of us. I put the money by the door and went back to computer. I was still at my computer when the guy came to the door; after Angie paid him, I heard him actually ask for a tip! I had already decided that we should should let him keep the little bit of change. Evidently this wasn’t enough becuase he still asked for a tip! Of all the nerve! If we had wanted to give a bigger tip, we would have done so. Asking for one is defintately not a good way to get repeat business.
Like Tommy the Cat mentioned, if she had said “I’ll be right back with your change”, I would’ve told her to just keep it. But you’re damn right I’m going to get irritated at my server asking me if she can keep my change. And you don’t ALWAYS leave your server ALL of your change. Quite honestly, a $9.25 is a pretty generous tip on a $30 tab, wouldn’t you agree? And she assumed that is what we were going to let her have.
Jeff, something like that would’ve ticked me off too! How rude. I hope the food wasn’t that great, because it would make me mad to boycott a good Chinese place because of their sucky delivery guys.
SERVERS’ RULE #2: Never, ever expect a tip. Tips must be a “pleasant surprise”; a seemingly unexpected reward for a job well-done.
In the year-and-a-half I spent delivering pizzas, I found the only way to enjoy tips was to treat them as extra, since at least half the people did not tip at all.
And I was an excellent deliveryperson.
(Cute, too!)
-Mothra
ps I would have taken back the tip i’d already given, from that guy delivering Chinese. It’s too bad employers don’t take the time to train for courtesy and good manners.
Fortunately, there are several good Chinese deliverers which serve our condo. If we decide on that particular one again, we’ll probably go get the food ourselves.
I work as a restaurant magician. I do not work strictly for tips. I have an hourly rate that I charge the restaurant, but I accept tips. My experience in doing this has taught me that if I really try to get the tip from the table, I probably won’t get one. If I just relax and try to genuinely entertain the parton, I almost always get a tip. In fact, one night I wasn’t even keeping track of my tips and I made $28 after performing for only 6 tables. I guess I looked like I was really enjoying entertaining everyone and I didn’t look like I was begging.
I believe this can be applied to other work environments. Just focus on doing your job the best way possible and keep the customer happy, and the tips will come in naturally.
NOTE: I NEVER ask for a tip. I don’t even bring it up.
I too get irratated by "Do you want your change back? question. I usually leave a 20% tip upped too the nearst dollar, even when they ask this rude question, providing the service was good. I prefer to say “You can keep the extra for the great service.” without the rude begging for money.
My brother and his freind went with their wives to a fancy restraunt. The friend and wife had a $120 dollar meal. The waitress tries to keep the change from $200 as a gratuity.
Our extended family of nine people went to a usually nice place. The gratuity of 15% was on our bills, when we got them. The waitress was at our table three times.
She took the orders.
She delivered the food.
She came back with the bills.
She never came to ask if we needed anything, like drink refills, or condiments. She didn’t check that the food was to our satisfaction. She brought out the bills before we even finished the dinner. At that point the rudness really came though. Quote “Exact change in cash will be the best way to pay! The next is a credit card. Checks for the exact amount only, if you don’t have exact change.” This was in a snooty tone.
Upto that point she was still going to get a larger gratuity with the substanard service. Instead everybody paid for their dinner one or two at a time and asked for exact change back. Some held back saying to their spouse “I can’t find my money do you have it?”, and other excuses. She had to make five trips to the table to collect all the money and bring back the change.
I guess that upped the number of visits to our table, but that wasn’t service related.
Once, my family went to a TGI Friday’s on vacation. Our party of five waited a little over an hour while they kept seating parties of 2 who had come in three minutes ago. They couldn’t push a few of those small tables together to make a table for our family?
Anyway, we finally got seated, but waited another 10 minutes for someone to come take our orders. (By this time, we weren’t even that hungry.) We finally grabbed the manager’s attention, and he took our orders, brought our food, and made sure everything was okay.
Nearing the end of the meal, this waitress who we had never seen before brought us the bill. She had signed it “ Kristen”, like she expected us to tip her. My dad made sure to ask for exact change. We were too mad to stick around to complain about the horrible service.
My father was so pissed about this very subject a few weeks ago. He and Mom went out for dinner, and a waitress brought them some drinks from the bar while they were waiting for their table. The cost was about $3.00. Dad paid with a $10 bill. The waitress asked, “Would you like your change back?”
“She expects a SEVEN DOLLAR TIP for a THREE DOLLAR TAB?!?!”
The question lacks tact anyway, but when the change is more than the bill, the question is particularily absurd.
I worked as a waiter in some of my city’s fancier restaurant in my student days. Such a thing was unheard of. It was just simply wasnt done. Service culture here is a little differnt to that of the states but tips and tipping was the subject of , if not quite embarrasment , at least a degree of unspoken decorum.
I have high expectations of waiters/esses. If someone asked me “do you need your change back” I would be highly insulted. Whats the right awnser to that?
“well yes I do need my change back , you see I was trying to impress this girl by taking her here but I’m going to need that change so I can afford to eat for the rest of the week , I was hoping I could buy some bread with that change, you think it will cover some milk too ???”
See, this is exactly the problem! I believe this question is asked to put the customer in an awkward position. Say yes, you’re a great guy who isn’t going to make your server return with your change. Say no, and you’re an evil no-tipper who makes your server walk ALL the way back to your table to give you your money. How silly!
You weren’t clear, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions. When you say that you had “already decided that we should let him keep the little bit of change”. does that mean you gave him 20 or 40¢ ? If so, then I doubt he’d mind if you guys didn’t order form them again.
Keep in mind, asking for a tip is very rude, but so is tipping nothing or a very low amount. If you can’t afford the tip, then don’t get food delivered.
Whenever I order in, I tend to let the delivery person keep the balance rather than them fumbling around looking for correct change. I don’t remember what the blanace was in this case, but it was less than $1. In restaurants, if service was good I always tip at least 10%, rounded up to the nearest quarter. For Easter, I spend part of my tax refund at Outback Steakhouse. Service was exceptional and I left an $8 tip on a $30 or so bill.
