I noticed that I have this (somewhat frustrating) tendency to perpetually set my personal bar out of reach, so to speak.
No matter how many goals I set and accomplish, I never feel any more ‘accomplished’. The phrase, “its about the journey, not the destination” definitely applies to me. A lot of things I either want to have or want to accomplish feel marginal once I get them- for example, college:
Earning my BA was a huge effort. It took about 5 years, and there were probably 300 moments during that 5 years I considered giving up. I kept going, figuring, “I’ve gone this far” and that attitude allowed me to tough it out and somehow manage to get a Batchelor’s Degree. Right now, I am working in two jobs, both of which require the degree I worked so hard to earn, but it doesn’t feel nearly as important as it did when I was in school. If anything, I’m too fixated on telling myself I should go back and do more, though unfortunately I don’t have the GPA for grad school.
Moving out was another big deal. For a long time I was wrapped in this perpetual fear I wouldn’t be able to afford to live on my own. Eventually I realized I would have to take that risk eventually, so one day I looked in the classifieds, scoped out some rooms for rent that I could afford, visited a few places, and in just a week later, was living somewhere else. The whole thing seemed so easy to do, a part of me felt angry for taking so long to get around to it. And even though moving had been a big accomplishment, because I had wanted to move out for so long, looking at it now it doesn’t seem as significant- particularly because it looks like I will be living in rental properties for quite some time given my financial situation.
Perhaps I’m trying to avoid getting a sense of complacency- I never want to stop trying/aspiring for the next best thing because I’m so satisfied with what I have.
The company I work for paid this guy from Japan (Who is a leader in TPM) to come speak at our company.
One of the FIRST things he asked us is: “Why do you keep setting your company’s goals to match that of your leading competitor? You need to set your goals AHEAD of your leading competitor’s otherwise your just shooting behind the duck.”
Also I remember reading somewhere a lot of self made wealthy people get depressed once they (try to) retire. They got to where they are by constantly setting goals for themselves and achieving those goals. Once they retire they have no more goals to achieve which in turn makes them feel useless.
I can’t say that I’m that bad off myself; but I do get the point.
I think you are definitely on the right track! Human nature seems to be a constant struggle between doing too little or doing too much. As with all things, striking a balance is the key to happiness.
The times in my life when I have been unhappy, when I reflect on those times I find that either:
[ul]I was not pushing hard enough to better myself and my immediate environment [/ul][ul]I was pushing myself too hard and making unattainable or unfulfilling goals[/ul]
I stumbled upon this quote the other day; you may find it helpful:
“You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do in order to have what you want”
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