When we are young we have many dreams. Things like to run for political office, to be in a rock band, to start our own business… But at some point you realize your just to old and you dont have enough energy left to do anything big time anymore. Or you get to the point in your career where you decide you’ve gone about as far up the ladder as your going to go.
Then you just coast into retirement.
When do you all think that occurs?
I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, the answer is “never”. I’m not even 40 yet and while I’ve already accepted that I’m never going to play in the NFL or be in the armed forces, I know that there are still many, many goals out there that I can still achieve if I want to. Even if I retire, I can still learn new things, attend courses to broaden my mind, write a book or do something actively charitable to make someone else’s life better and leave the world a little better than when I found it. I will never, ever say “I’m done”, because the day I do that is the day I give up on life, and there’s just too damn much to live for.
I’m quite happy with the status quo. I have a home, I have happy healthy kids, I have friends, and no debt to speak of.
Maybe I’m setting the bar rather low, but that’s all I ever wanted out of life. I don’t need that promotion at work to make me happy. I also feel no compulsion to “change the world” and make it a better place. I just try not to be a dick, enjoy what I’ve got, and get on with life.
For me instead of “I’m done” it’s been more a case of “I’ve changed my mind about what I want.” Often I’m still interested in the same things but at a different level. That lack of energy you mention has, for me, been the ceasation of drive to “make it to the top”, wherever that is, and doesn’t make me feel like a failure. If you still feel that certain sharp need I don’t think you’re done yet, just stymied at the moment.
Not too long ago at work I was asked if I’d be interested in returning to management (I stepped down a few years ago for personal reasons and we’re currently experiencing a shortage). I automatically replied, “Why would I? I no longer feel the need to PROVE MYSELF because I’ve been there/done that over and over again. I enjoy being the ‘senior person’ in the department. Everybody comes to me for advice or asks me how to do X or Y and I show them. I’d rather pass on my knowledge about this industry than make $20 more a week with a neverending headache.”
If you had asked me 20 years ago if I’d be this way I would have laughed in your face because I’M GOING TO CONQUER THE WORLD, DAMMIT!
I’ve got a lot of 30-something friends who are in this CONQUER THE WORLD period. It’s sometimes exhausting following their tales. Then I remember how exhausted I made other people feel with my CONQUER THE WORLD stuff when I was in my 30s…
I was a teacher for ten years. When the micromanagement became bad enough that it was clear I would no longer be able to teach at what I considered an acceptable level, it was time to go. I worked through a lot of adversity, but this was different. It was not difficult kids or lack of equipment, which I could work around and gradually improve. This was the establishment deciding it basically didn’t want me to exercise my professional skills.
I was done, and have moved on to another career. It was the right decision for me, but I wish it hadn’t come to that.
At 40 being recently divorced and gone bankrupt, closed the business and decided to just work and build up my retirement. Now that I am retired and 66 years old I find myself on this endless quest to do something, the urgency is no longer there so I usually just settle for playing with ideas.
I’m 53 now with a good steady career that more than pays the bills and let’s me surf the web most of the day so often times I think of just coasting to retirement. Then I get bored with myself and take on a new higher profile position. Every time, just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
I never had those dreams, does that make me unusual? Never wanted to be famous or best at anything. Just wanted a happy fulfilling life.
I’ll only be done when a guy in tactical pants tells me I am.
I turned 60 YO recently and I’ve been considering the number of years before I retire. However one of the things I plan to do when retired is ride my bicycle across the USA. So it isn’t like I don’t have future goals.
When I was in my 30’s, I was a pretty fast burner in my field. However I realized that I wasn’t enjoying it all that much especially the management part. So I changed careers when in my 40s and became a highly skilled worker bee. The pay is very good and I don’t have to deal with all the middle management BS. I’ve been offered management positions, but have declined them.
Damn you!
I decided I was done working at 62. I was bored with it and it was making me old before my time, so I just decided that I was done with it. All of it. Best decision ever. That doesn’t mean I’ve quit living; I’ve just quit doing that part of my life.
When I was in my late 30s, I had the best job I ever had, but I was living in a larger city than I liked, and had managed to build up a pretty decent savings. So I quit and went to a tiny town in Kansas and bought an old house on a nice shady corner lot and “retired” with a job I could do effortlessly and there was no competition for and it paid just barely enough that I didn’t have to dip into my savings to raise my family. I worked the early morning shift, so when everyone else went to lunch, I went home for the day, and got used to going to bed early instead of watching TV. Never regretted it.
I realized during a meeting earlier this year that, at 47, I am older than every SrVP and above at our $50bn, 300k employee company. Almost imperceptibly, over the last fifteen years I’ve gone from young Turk to “seasoned middle management contributor”.
Our income comfortably supports our lifestyle, and we have savings that should set us up well for retirement. I have not put myself forward for the last two promotion opportunities that have come up. I realized I didn’t even have a current resume. I’m not “coasting” toward retirement because my job is challenging. But the next level would bring a more demanding schedule and a lot more travel. For the next few years, I’d rather spend more time with my wife and kid. If I survive the next ten years, I’ll have few external options to advance.
I’m starting to think that my pyramid climbing years may be over.
After the next beer.
I think for a lot of us, it’s not a recognition that we’re unable to go any higher/further in our careers due to some inherent lack of skill or ability. Instead, it’s a recognition that our priorities have changed from when we were younger and full of piss and vinegar, and that going further in our careers isn’t that important to us anymore.
Take me for example- from when I graduated college at 24 through about the age of 37-38, I wanted to be in management and call the shots, and maybe be CIO of some medium to large company.
Somewhere in there, I realized that it’s well outside the sweet spot for money earned vs. effort put in, as far as I’m concerned. I mean, if I can make say… 70k on literal 40 hour weeks, why would I actually want to make 90k if it meant that I’d work 60 hour weeks? Plus, the stress level goes up significantly, and I also realized that on a personal level, I think I’ve hit the level where I like what I do. Going any higher, and I’d have to deal with budgeting, accountants and all manner of other administrative bullshit that I absolutely loathe.
Another, more cynical observation that I made is that by and large, the people being promoted into management and executive ranks are doing that by a combination of two things- a LOT of luck- being on the right project under the right people at the right time sort of stuff, and playing the “game”, in that they affect the right look in their dress, they drive the right cars, they affect the right interests in their personal lives, and they go drinking with the right people. Plus, they’re almost always tall, in-shape and handsome/attractive.
I’ve seen too many marginally competent “game” players get promoted, and too many extremely competent people who didn’t play the “game” or who didn’t play it well get overlooked to be anything but cynical about my chances of being promoted as a result.
So sometime in the past 5 years, I re-evaluated my goals, and decided that my goal is to have a job that I enjoy, that pays moderately well, and that doesn’t take any more time away from my family than is absolutely necessary. I’d rather work 40 hour weeks and be able to do stuff with my wife and kids than to work more and spend less time with them.
It is good to hear from all the people here who are fine with non-management careers. In my (limited) circle, it seems like everyone wants to be the boss one day, and that if you don’t share in the dream, something is wrong with your self-esteem, you’re lazy and lack ambition, or you’re not loyal enough.
I like being a technical and policy expert. That is why I went to school and worked so hard in the trenches. Supervising people and doing administrivia all day? Not a part of the dream.
I might say “I’m done” one day…and become the boss. Maybe when I get closer to retirement and I’m no longer interested in keeping up with the young whippersnappers. But that’s at least 20 years away.
I don’t think I’ll ever give up my dream of making more money for doing less work.
Yeah, my dream is to lay around all day and get money for free. I haven’t given up yet. If I just keep slogging through being lazy every day eventually I’ll achieve my goals. Never give up, never surrender.
