Another thing I do with my oldest son is when it’s story time, I talk about the planets (one of his faves) and I’ll say things like “OK, first of all, the planet closest to the sun is Saturn” my kid interrupts with “NOOOO! it Mercury!”, Then I’ll say “right, Mercury. Mercury is a gas giant…” “NOOOOO!” and so on…
At college I was famous for creating sculptures out of my food in the dining area…
The first time I drove my friend’s son to their new home, he was giving me directions. 'Left, no right, wait which is left, or did you say lights? It’s daytime, no lights silly. Oh left, are you sure it’s not right? You’re not trying to get me to help you run away are you? ’ There was much fun and giggling. Until we realized we really were lost.
So it looks like playing dumb is fairly popular Mangetout, but you’re exceptionally good at it.
Okay, that came out wrong.
Kids? Man, I do that with my 31-year-old girlfriend.
Her: Have you seen my watch?
Me: You’re a watch.
Her: Yeah, well your mom is a watch.
Me: At least she’s not a broken watch like your mom.
Her: Hell, no, your mom is a Timex, gives a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’!
Me: :rolleyes: 
or
Me: Oh, my god! Oh, my – look at that! No, look, hurry!
Her: Where?! What?!
Me: Look! Hurry up before you miss it! Oh, my god!
Her: WTF, WHERE?
Me: Nevermind, you missed it.
Her: What was it?! What was it?!
Me: Nothing.
or
Her: Do you want me to pick up anything on the way home?
Me: Yeah, you can get some –
Her: So no?
Me: I was trying to tell you! Pick up some –
Her: Nothing at all you want?
Me: Argh, I’m trying to tell you! Get some –
Her: Well, all right, if there’s nothing you want I’ll hang up now.
Me: Goddamnit, I’m trying to –
Her: <click>
Me: WTF! WTF!
Her: <ring> So, do you want me to pick up anything on the way home? 
Me: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Oh, all the time. Unfortunately due to stupidity of the non-play variety I can’t remember too many anecdotes.
– If one of the kids is rolling around on the floor or otherwise “underfoot” I’ll pretent to step on them, and complain loudly about the lumpy rug that I’ll need to squish all the lumps out of.
-
Recently had a conversation with Dweezil telling him I was going to have to take him out back and beat him. “You can’t take me out back and beat me!”. “OK, out front”. “NO!!!”. “OK, then where am I supposed to go to beat you?”. “You can’t beat me anywhere!!”. “Oh. Well phooey, that’s no fun!”.
-
“You need a bath. Hop into the dishwasher”. “Yeah, I guess you are too big for the dishwasher. Hop into the clotheswasher. Maybe you’re too big for that too. Car wash it is, then”.
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Clothing frequently goes on the wrong part of the body - sock/head is a popular choice.
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Missing limbs (e.g. Dweezil pulls his arm into his shirt) are popular, and I always complain loudly about them losing arms and how now their clothes will never fit.
I don’t know how well this will translate----it’s one of those “got to be there” things, but a few years ago, when my daughter was 8 or 9, We were in the car and I drove up next to a truck carrying a load of hay.
“HAAAAY!” I shouted.
My daughter said , “What?”
“HAAAY”, I said again
This went on for several minutes, until she realized I was pointing out that the truck had hay, and not trying to get her attention. At the time, she thought that was hilarious.
When she was very young, she’d bump her knee or something and come crying to me.
I’d always ask, “Do we have to take you to the knee store and buy you a new one?”
That routine had a long run as far as cheering her up went, but ultimately she got angry and told me “There’s no such thing as a knee store!”
Nothing lasts forever. :rolleyes:
My friend’s little boy is almost 4, and recently got into playing hide-and-seek. He loves it when I look for him in weird places, like small boxes he couldn’t possibly fit in, the refrigerator, under a rug, etc. Lots of the previously-mentioned “stupid” stuff has happened over the years, and I’m sure there is much stupid stuff yet to come, but at the moment the hide-and-seek stupidity is his favorite … and, therefore, mine as well. 
I like doing silly things for my daughter, but I’m not really into people who try to tease me. I like jokes, but I don’t like to be the butt of the joke or be made fun of in any way. I guess I’m just no fun.
Oh, man, I always hated it when people would do that to me. I understand that I’d roll my eyes and huff and puff and say “I KNOW what you’re doing!”
Which was the point, I suppose. I was an irritable child. 
I once knew an elementary school music teacher who elevated this kind of thing to high art. A few of his “routines”:
A kid would ask to use the bathroom or something. He’d say, “I’m sorry, there’s a new school policy. All questions must be submitted in writing. In triplicate, actually. One copy to me, one to the principal, and one to the superintendent. You should get an answer in about 90 days.”
When a kid would announce it was their birthday:
Teacher: “How old are you?”
Kid: “8”.
Teacher: “Really? What’s it like to be 8? You see, I was never 8. I went from age 7 directly to age 9. Had to get special permission to do that.”
My favorite was this ongoing thing he had with a set of twins in the school. He did the usual stuff of pretending not to realize they were twins, and claiming it was one kid changing clothes, etc. Then he took it a step further, involving me one day when I visited his classroom:
Teacher: “Mr. Tuck, this is a good class. But I wanted to point out one troublemaker. It’s Kylie over there. I keep seeing her in different places wearing different clothing.”
Kylie and the class are already giggling madly. He continues:
“And do you want to know what her explanation for this is? Listen to this - she claims there is another person who looks EXACTLY like her! She calls it a… ‘twin’. Do I look like I would fall for a story as silly as that?! She could at least come up with something BELIEVABLE! I wasn’t born yesterday! A twin!”
The kids that weren’t falling over laughing were arguing and insisting there WAS TOO such a thing as twins.
I think he used humor as a great educational tool. He made the kids think, challenge things that were illogical, and explain why. Bet he’s a great dad.
This is one of my favorites.
Kid: I stubbed my toe/hit my funny bone/he stepped on my foot/whatever.
Me: Oh my god, are you gonna die?!
Kid: (giggles) No.
Me: Oh, ok.
I think they’re thrown off by the melodrama.
My son, when he was little…er well small enough for me to toss around used to LOVE “sackofpotatoes” where I would toss him over my shoulder like a sack then drop him on the bed and tickle him…nowadays I think I could get him off the ground but I am posative it would involve a few trips to the chiropractor to fix.
If there’s one thing I know about kids, it’s that they love to be smarter than the grown ups. One of my favorite ways of doing this is to read a familiar picture book with a child, and sort of not get things right, like this:
Me " Brown bear brown bear what do you see? I see a…walrus."
Kid “No! Walrus have big teeth. That’s a flamingo!”
Me “Are you sure? I though the big pink birds were called walruses.”
Kid, gives me a skeptical look. " That’s not a walrus."
Me “Well, if you say so. I’m going to look it up later, though. Where were we? Flamingo, flamingo, what do you hear? I hear a hippo-”
Kid “It’s an elephant!”
Me “Now you’re trying to trick me. Hippos are big gray animals, aren’t they?”
Kid “Yeah, but…!”
Even when they know you’re just messing with them, they still love to correct you
Woah, the interrupting tortoise is a brilliant variant. Have you tried interrupting starfish?
Parent: “Knock knock”
Kid: “Who’s there”
P: “The interrupting starfish!”
K: “The interrupt…”
P: <interrupting> Now here you go for the physical comedy, throwing one of your hands wide open with the fingers spread to sort of resemble a starfish and sticking it up in their face before they can finish the sentence.
Goess over a treat with the young’uns.