Do you really hate a sports team? If so, which one?

Cafe Society
1

Lots of people have favourite sports teams. But do you have one you hate? One you despise, one whose failures fill you with the same sort of happiness that your favourite team’s successes do?

(Note: If you’re planning to post with “i hate all sports equally i dont understand why anyone likes sports” please go away.)

For me, it’s the Toronto Maple Leafs. I hate them. I loathe them. I despise everything about them. I despise their name, their uniforms, their facility. I laugh at their incompetence and find their era of success intensely boring; the Leafs of the 60s might have been the most boring good hockey team there ever was, at least until the Devils.

I hate Leafs fans, who are the whiniest, bitchiest fans in sport. They complain that the referees hate them, that the schedule is unfair, they make excuses for every failure, every fuck-up, every idiotic personnel move. They seem to have no knowledge about hockey at all aside from what’s currently going on with the Maple Leafs. I hate the broadcasters and the writers. Everything about their organization drips with corruption, scum, and the worst of corporate avarice, a monopoly that refuses to provide a quality product and sucks the market dry while using its corporate influence to prevent competent businesses from competing in the same market.

I hate their coaches. I hate their front office staff. I hate their ushers. I hate their sourvenor vendors. I hate their marketeers. I hate the guy who drives their Zamboni. I hope their accounting staff all have their calculators break because I hate them, too. I hate their logo and their colors and I hate anyone who wears them. I hate all their players (at least since Dougie left) and I hate anyone with the same last name as any of them. I hate Mats Sundin, the supposed great leader who coasts through every critical game. I hate Darcy Tucker and his dirty play. I hate them all. I hate their constant bitching to refs, I hate their silly media hide-and-seek games.

I love it when the Leafs lose. They’re being destroyed by the worst team in the NHL right now and it gives me a huge erection. I like it when they lose, but what I really love is when they’re humiliated. I want to see them lose 17-0 in a game in which eight of their players are taken from the ice on stretchers. I like that they’ll miss the playoffs again but what I’d really like is if they went 0-82, made the cover of Sports Illustrated under the headline DISGRACE! and had to move to Mexico City, and the Air Canada Center was burned to the ground and the land seeded with salt so nothing more would grow there again, and then I’d want them to move back so it could all happen again because watching them lose is just so wonderful.

Most Canadians always cheer, by default, for the Canadian team in any playoff series, and I do too, if it’s any of the other Canadian teams. But I do not consider the Leafs to be Canadian. They aren’t even human. They’re the absolute scum of the earth, lower than the lowest bacteria, the slavering, mindless minions of Satan himself, and their torment is my glee. I enjoy watching children wearing Maple Leafs sweaters cry when they lose. It makes me want to dance when they suffer.

How about you?

2

Pittsburgh Steelers.

It’s sort of a birthright when you’re a Browns fan. There’s just no two ways about it - Pittsburgh sucks. Their stupid towels suck. Their colors suck. Their fans suck.

I can’t wrap my head around it when I come across a person from NE Ohio that’s a Pittsburgh fan, or who says “when they’re not playing the Browns, I like the Steelers.” Does. Not. Compute.

3

I’ll second the hatred for the Steelers, but as a Bengals fan.
And I’m laughing my ass off at the OP’s post, especially the bit about hating the poor Zamboni driver!
I just don’t get hockey. I think it’s exciting to watch for short periods, but I get lost in the sea of unpronounceable names and the constant icing fouls.
And as a Bengals fan, let me be the first to say that I am quite happy that our team was the reason you catapulted into a false sense of goodness, only to rob you of your playof berth later on!
It was the only highlight of the Bengals shitty season, however. We’ll be back. Eventually. Even if it takes another two decades of mediocrity to get there, a situation that both Browns AND Bengals fans can relat to recently!
Whatever happened to the Battle Of Ohio? Not as big of a rivarly anymore…

4

Hi Rick.

And Opal too, I guess.

5

I will never forgive the Diamondbacks for beating New York right after 9/11. Sure they may have earned it. It may have been fair. But it still doesn’t matter to me. New York got attacked, for God’s sake! The D-backs will forever hence be known to me as the Taliban Snakes.

6

The Oakland Raiders. But I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m a Broncos fan. When they went to the Super Bowl and lost to the Tampa Bay Bucs, I laughed darkly and said, “This is the beginning of a downward spiral into suckitude that it’ll take at least a decade, if not more, to escape from.”

I remember everybody was picking the Raiders to win that SB, too. I bet against them. Because they’re the Raiders. And the one rule in the Universe is that the Raiders suck. And if for some reason they have a good season, they’ll find a way to suck.

Nothing makes me happier than how much they suck. And no matter what happens in my life, I can always console myself with, “It could be worse. I could be a Raiders fan.”

7

And by the way, if you need to espouse that much vitriol over a sports team, perhaps it’s because you’re trying to compensate for something.
:wink:

8

I rather appreciate healthy rivalries, so I don’t really “hate” any teams. So when you see me teasing Yankee fans please read my posts as playfully as possible. There are some players I loathe though, but usually because they just give me the distanced impression that they themselves are probably assholes.

Before the lockout my Dad hated the New Jersey Devils though. Both for a rivaly with his beloved Bruins as well as “ruining professional hockey”. He claimed that their defensive strategy made for really boring games. I didn’t see it, but he watches a lot of more than I do and even continues to play at 53 years of age.

9

I don’t know if it’s with quite the ire that RickJay can muster towards the Maple Leafs, but I’m getting a little tired of the Edmonton Oilers’ hype that infests Edmonton every winter. I like a couple of beers at the sports bar, but when I’m in Edmonton, I’m going to be exposed to all-Oilers all-the-time if they’re playing, no matter what:

– The Super Bowl’s on? Tough, the Oilers are playing.
– The Red Sox are about to win their first World Series in how many years? Tough, the Oilers are playing.
– The US President has been shot, Iraq has hit North Korea with an A-bomb, and the British pound has collapsed to the point where it’s worth ten cents US? Tough, the Oilers are playing.

Okay, that last one has never happened (thankfully!) but the point is there. When the Oilers play, you might as well stay at home unless you want to watch the game, surrounded by Oilers fans, who, while the game is on, can (a) only talk about the good old days with Wayne Gretzky, (b) only talk about the number of Stanley Cups they won, and © only talk about how every other team in the league sucks. Or, in the case of the teams that are better than the Oilers, how they should suck.

I don’t know if I really hate the Oilers the way RickJay hates the Leafs. But with the intensity and the brook-no-dissent fanaticism their fans display, I’m certainly moving towards that level!

10

As a fellow Sens fan, the answer for me is the Buffalo Sabres. I loathe the Sabres. They’re such whiners. They cry about everything. About a year ago Chris Neil drilled their captain with a completely legal hit. Oh, but Drury was a star player, and Neil just a goon, as and we all know that it’s against the rule to throw body checks against the stars. So in response, their coach sends out a trio of meatheads to attack Ottawa’s best players(and by attack, I mean grabbing them and throwing punches at their heads until the scrum was broken up). They even sent a player to attack our goalie! The most disgusting thing was how the Sabres came out and accused Ottawa of attempting to injure players. Excuse me? We’re not the ones sending goons out to fight stars.

There was also a completely classless incident during the last playoff series between the two teams. In one game, Ottawa’s captain and best player threw an admittedly illegal hit on one of the Buffalo players. He should have been given a minor penalty on the play but the refs missed the call. The Buffalo player was shaken up a bit but didn’t miss so much as a single shift. After the game Buffalo cried loudly for a suspension on the play, and went as far as to say that the it was doubtful whether the Buffalo player would play in the next game. Of course, the whole thing was a total lie and was a transparent attempt by the Sabres to get Alfredsson suspended for a game; the Buffalo player played in every game in the series and wasn’t even hobbled, let alone unable to play(Lindy Ruff clearly attended the Pat Quinn school of being a completely classless asshole).

Buffalo also has well-deserved reputation as being the worst group of divers in the league. They clearly take inspiration from European soccer. And despite what a certain peacock-clothed CBC commentator might say, it’s their North American players who are the worst offenders.

The good news is that, as good as Buffalo is at drafting talent, their management is completely incompetent at retaining it. They managed to lose both of their best players in the offseason despite both being willing to sign for below-market value a year ago and managed to overpay their third-best player. Now they’re well on their way to losing their top offensive defenceman at the end of this season. They don’t do quite as good a job as messing up their team as the Leafs, but they do try.

11

Lived in the shadow of Lambeau Field long enough to turn my blood Green & Gold which instills an automatic hatred of not only the Bears but all the rest of the Chicago teams as well.

12

Have you watched much hockey recently? About two and a half years ago they implemented a new rule that vastly reduced the number of icings committed each game by punishing icing more harshly.

13

Since I’m a life-long Dodgers fan, I loathe the San Francisco Gints (not a typo). I grew up in the LA area and went to university in the Bay Area. When I attended games at Candlestink (again, not a typo), I would always root for the team playing against them.

I also support the Anaheim ball team (whatever their name is this year). During the time I lived in Seattle, the Mariners became another team I hated. I lived near the Kingdome and Safeco Field so I went to their games often. I always cheered for the other team.

As for other sports, I support all the LA-area teams. I don’t really hate their opponents though.

Lastly, being a Cal alumni, I hate Stanfurd’s and sUCkLA’s sports teams (no typos). I think I still have the shirt I wore to some college games. It reads in the front, “UCLA Sucks!” and in the back, “But Stanfurd Swallows!” :smiley: GO BEARS!

14

My mind was in NFL mode so I almost forgot to mention how much I also hate Notre Dame. The Fighting Irish and their TV broadcast contract virtually prevented seeing any other NCAA football game on Saturday afternoon for years. Thanks Og cable has fixed that, but I still loath the golden domers.

15

I don’t think the Irish were playing, but your post reminded me. A couple of years ago, the once-a-year Rose Bowl was pre-empted on our local channels for … you guessed it … a regular season Oilers game. Yeesh!

16

Man, nobody I hate more than the Boston Red Sox. I hate the players, I hate the organization, and most of all, I can’t stand any of those really crazy Red Sox fans.
Every time I see Manny Ramirez, I just want to smack him - the way he plays so lazily, raising his arms when he hits a deep fly ball. And I cackle gleefully whenever he gets out because of it.
And of course, Jonathan Papelbon’s demonic stare, which still gives me nightmare.

17

I’ll give you three guesses.

ETA: I don’t really harbor any grudge against Cal, and don’t understand why they seem to hate us. After their smug as hell acceptance letter though I was happy to tell them to offer my seat to the next person on the list.

18

I dunno…my cup runeth over with hatred for the Stillers, so there’s no more room in the depths of my blackened heart to deal with the Bengals.

I dare say that I feel for the Bengals, as they are often as hapless as the Browns, and don’t care if they do well - as long as it’s not at our expense. Same with the Tigers.

But the Stillers…just…ech. Ptooey!

19

This far in, and no one has mentioned the Dallas Cowboys? I thought we were together on this, America? Doesn’t everyone hate the Cowboys?

Actually, I’ve lately found myself in an odd position: I hate the Cowboys, of course, but I’m really starting to like Tony Romo. I am conflicted.

Also, as a graduate of the University of Georgia during the Steve Spurrier era, I hate hate HATE the Florida Gators in football. Other sports? No problem with UF. But in college football, I’d root for a sockful of Athlete’s Foot before I’d root for the Gators.

20

As an Orioles fan, it’s obligatory that i hate the Yankees. What makes it even worse is that whenever they come to town it seems that there are more fucking Yankees fans at Camden Yards than Orioles fans.

I never used to hate the Red Sox. I mean, before 2004 their haplessness was sort of funny, and their fans’ whining was sort of cute. I rooted for them against the Yankees in the great comeback of the 2004 ALCS, and again in the World Series against the Cardinals. But now they’ve won two WS in the last 4 years, and some of their fans still act like their team is the poor, downtrodden stepchild of Major League Baseball. Get the fuck over yourselves.

Over the past few years i’ve also come to hate the Chicago White Sox. I think it started a few years ago, with A.J. Pierzynski at catcher, Ozzie Guillen as manager, and Hawk Harrelson calling the games. With that Perfect Storm of assholes in the organization, how could anyone NOT hate them?

I don’t really have any really violent team hatreds in NFL. As a Ravens fan, i guess i should hate the Steelers, but i really don’t. In hockey, i have a generalized hatred of all hot-weather-location teams. I know it’s irrational, but i just hate seeing Tampa or Carolina or any of the other southern teams do well. And i will always root for a Canadian team over a US team in hockey.

I don’t really follow the NBA, but i do like to keep an eye for Lakers losses.