I have sent both gripes and kudos in the past and will continue to do so if things are exceptional in either direction.
rant warning That said, it’s becoming more and more common for younger people to expect praise for every goddamn little effort they make. I noticed this in Gen X types that I hired back when I was working. An admin assistant telling me that I never tell her that she does all her filing on time made my jaw drop: read your job description, fer cripes sake. We have the spectacle these days of day-care graduation, kindergarten graduation, first grade graduation, etc. I hear mothers telling their kids “good job!” every time the kid manages to draw a breath. Schools give awards for every damned thing that kids do. It’s overkill in the extreme, and it’s no wonder that people expect to be praised as long as they can fog a mirror. Bah!
I’ve sent complimentary mails several times, when people have gone “above and beyond”, performing a non-routine, complex task with promptness, efficiency and… well, often it isn’t so much a smile as a look of “wait wait, I know this one!.. type type type Hah!”
I’ve also had the experience of talking with someone about a problem in their workplace, thinking out loud about possible solutions and being asked “would you put that in writing? We love that idea, but if we suggest it, the company will toss it. If a customer does, on the other hand…” Atocha did get its new maps
Recently I sent a complimentary email and a complaint on the same day, to two different businesses in the same airport.
One of the things I do in my job is set up the systems to deal with different so-called notifications, from customer communications to internal forms asking maintenance to fix something or being used by production to figure out why a particular batch came out bad: I always try to convince the company to create types called “customer suggestions” and “customer - other”, not just “customer complaints”. They aren’t always complaints, c’mon!
The world is a pretty crabby place, it’s true. IMO people are rapidly becoming more and more asocial as we live more of our lives online. Working for the public sucks, and those who hold demeaning jobs find all these nasty little ways of getting some power back: Buh-bye from Total Bastard Airlines.
What was typical courtesy 30 years ago *is *exceptional behavior now, and I’m thrilled with any in-person friendliness and competence that isn’t poisoned by an undercurrent of withering disdain and disrespect. Friendly hostess? Compliment. Efficient busboy? Compliment. Exceptionally knowledgable home improvement clerk? Compliment. You keep waving your walker at folks and I’ll go right behind you passing out kudos and praise.
Hey, I’m unremittingly pleasant to people in service jobs (who are pleasant to me) and I tip well. It doesn’t mean that I gush every time somebody brings me my burger.
We can order nearly anything we want to be dropped off at our locked front door. Our technology tools and toys can be repaired remotely without ever laying eyes on another human, or even hearing a voice. We don’t stop at the post office and trade baby pics with neighbors, we already did that on Facebook at home. Things ain’t gonna get nicer. As long as I don’t get a sneezeburger or a droppizza, I’m praising. It’s up to the end user to create an environment that rewards courtesy and kindness.
I don’t think I’ve ever sent a praise or damnation letter. I’ve done it with a telephone and with e-mail. And I’ve done far more praise than damnation.
The last such instance was to a very helpful cop. He said he was just doing his job, but he saved our asses.
Recently a different cop asked that I send a letter to his boss (precinct captain?) praising him. That seemed a little self-serving to me, even though he was doing a great job. (And raising a lot of money for the city.) I would have been happy to, had I found the captain’s e-mail. But to hand-write a letter, stuff it in an envelope, address it, stamp it, and mail it? Forget it.
That, I hate.
I’ve recently been hounded by the employees of a bank to send in a to send in the customer review form because they get dinged if I don’t send one in and if the one I do send in doesn’t have perfect marks on it. Another company had me do an employee evaluation at the counter - and the guy there told me that they would get in trouble if I didn’t answer every question and answer it with five stars (apparently 4 out of 5 would involve some kind of repercussion for the employees).
Quite frankly, they were generally competent at their jobs, but nothing to write home about. My only real complaint about either company is being made to feel like they’re holding their employees hostage - it gives me a really negative overall impression of the company and makes me not want to return.
