Do you still watch TV?

We sit in front of the TV for about 2 hours a night (my wife and I), but about half the time it’s a movie on DVD or streaming Netflix. The rest of the time it’s something recorded on the DVR. Occasionally if there’s a football game on from our alma mater we’ll watch that on Saturday afternoon, and maybe once or twice each fall we’ll sit down to watch a pro football game. We don’t watch anything in realtime anymore, even sports. Of the eleventy-billion channels we get on DirecTV, I only record programs from about 5 of them.

My kids watch about 30 minutes a day, exclusively DVR’d programs. The hard drive is about 65% full, and about 85% of what’s there is stuff we record for my kids.

I’m 48, live alone, haven’t owned a TV since I was 22. The poor cable guy in my current smallish city of residence nearly had a nervous breakdown when I explained to him that I just wanted cable internet, no cable TV, no landline, nothing but the internet. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that I simply Don’t. Own. A. Television.

I’ve got nothing against television, mind you, and I spend many happy hours watching material on DVD or Netflix or Hulu or YouTube that was originally broadcast on television. But I just don’t want another goddamn electronic device to buy and own and look after. Not worth it to me.

My TV is on all the time, so you think I’d be watching it a lot. But I really don’t. I have it on mute most of the time. I do regularly watch reruns of Family Guy and 2.5 Men. I have been known to waste entire weekends watching Law & Order. That’s a habit that I’d love to break. And I record Nova whenever I can, but that’s not often.

My only show that I must watch is Full Metal Jousting, but that only takes an hour out of my week.

I haven’t owned a television in over twenty years.

When I bought my house in 2007 I bought a 17 inch flatscreen with a built-in DVD player. So I watch movies that I’ve bought. I am quite the Amazon-whore with old movies and film-noir.

I bought the tablet I’m posting on now last August when I stopped working, I’ve also never owned a computer. Which is weird because I love science-fiction.

I watch Dancing with the Stars, various NBC Thursday comedies, various Fox Sunday animated comedies, and the occasional rerun of Futurama, American Dad, The Simpsons, Archer and Robot Chicken.

I have the TV on almost all day long - it keeps my [dementia’d] mother company - although realistically she doesn’t need to have it on, she’ll listed to a CD quite happily. I have to be careful what’s on the TV though as she thinks what she’s seeing on the box is happening in the corner of the room (which leads to some hilarious-to-listen-to phone conversations where she tells people “The Queen came to see us today” as did President Obama “isn’t he a lovely fella, he offered me a pint of Guinness, but I said ‘no’, I don’t drink. Well he laughed!!”)

Most of the time it’s on Sky Sports News which is harmless, she will watch Mythbusters, American Pickers, American Restoration, Pawn Stars and Ace of Cakes. She gets fed up with them, so I have to keep finding other things for her to watch.

I finally got Sky plus (it’s like TiVo) earlier this year and have Fringe, Grimm, Alcatraz, Mad Men, NCIS, Hawaii Five-0, Being Erica, Luck, Sanctuary, Pan Am, Touch, Desperate Housewives, Castle, Glee, Psych, The Mentalist, and something called Flashpoint that I’ve not watched any of yet. Plus The [original] Day The Earth Stood Still and 84 Charing Cross Road. I watch what I can, when I can. Mother will tolerate Psych (I think she’s got a thing for Lassiter) and sometimes Desperate Housewives, but she doesn’t like anything that involves guns, dead bodies, or kissing.

I’m more of a DVD person myself. Most of what’s on now is not to my liking.