The reason I ask is because I am wondering if it is a common phenomenon with people, sort of like a type of “selective amnesia”. Only instead of amnesia the person is selectively ‘seeing’ themselves in a better light than that in which they see other people. I often wonder if I am guilty of such a thing because I regularly see other people who are my age-or roughly thereabout-and I am struck by how much older they look than myself.
It’s especially true when I see some of my old high-school friends or classmates after many years. I think to myself, “Damn, time hasn’t been friendly to them.”. I wonder if they are thinking the exact same thing about me. I wonder, is it just an inability to see myself in the same way that I see others?
Well, I’m regularly mistaken for being about a decade younger than I am, including recently by a new doctor, so I reckon I do look young for my age. I’ve also had old friends who reconnected with me via Facebook say I look the same as I did 10-15 years ago, although I’m sure they do just mean my face – I have gained weight since then.
I don’t feel I look *much *younger than coworkers and friends of about my age, but we’re all old enough now that the effects of smoking and sun damage (two things I’ve avoided) are starting to show on some of their faces. I also have a small nose and a big forehead, which I think may remind people of a child’s features although I am obviously an adult.
Less than 5% of people guess my age within 5 years and most people’s eyes widen in shock when they figure out how old I am, so I don’t think it’s just my perception that I look younger than I am.
I’m frequently mistaken for a decade younger, and a friend of mine since age 5 basically cornered me in private to ask what products I use to stay young looking. (I didn’t say “genetics and no kids” - my dad looked very young for his age, as well.)
See, these responses are suspicious to me. Sure, people tell you how young you look; they “guess” your age to be way low because that’s the polite thing to do. I’m talking about your own perceptions, if you can divorce them from these sorts of comments (and maybe you can’t).
Not so much anymore. Since I cut my hair, I think I look closer to my age than I used to. People tell me I look younger, but I don’t really see myself that way.
As far as my “proof” is concerned, I have a nice collection of trinkets from various amusement parks where employees are enlisted to guess the age of guests (thus they are motivated to be as accurate as possible); they usually are 5-10 years too low (I’m almost 50). It’s probably a collection of genes (everyone in my birth mother’s line lives to great ages), clean living (no drugs, booze, or tobacco), and avoiding the sun/using a lot of sunscreen.
People consistently think I’m 5-10 years younger than I really am. I’m turning 40 soon. About two years ago, I was at a party, and a friend of mine was trying to figure out how old I was. She guessed 30. When I laughed, she lowered her guess to 28.
I kind of see it, too. When I’m comfortable with my surroundings, I’m carefree and playful, with a quiet seriousness when needed. I don’t have wrinkles, and I’m almost always smiling. I think people mistake this for youth.
-D/a
Well, let’s see. I started smoking cigarettes at about age 9. Smoked a pack a day through my teens and didn’t quit for about 10 years. I drank cheap wine as a teen, and also skipped school to drink vodka with my friends. I was overweight my entire life, too. Add to all of that the fact that even as a teenager, I was never carded to get into nightclubs and the fact that I have always been the type to stay up all night, even when I have to get up early and I think you get the picture.
It’s okay with me, though. I do like to come into these kinds of threads and balance them out.
I don’t really think about how old I look. I look how I look. But as for guessing, I never make people guess my age. I know that people mistake me for being younger because either 1) when they find out my real age they tell me they’d assumed I was much younger (which sure, could be flattery) or more commonly 2) they say things that make it clear they’ve assumed I’m an undergrad student. I’m actually a faculty member.
No, I’m just not asking what other people think of you; I’m asking what you think of yourself. But perhaps your opinion of yourself is influenced by what others say, so it’s impossible to give an opinion on yourself that is truly divorced from the opinion of others. But at least give it a shot and don’t post what other people tell you.
I’m just thinking that this is a common tendency among people to see themselves through a certain type of ‘rose-colored glasses’. I could be totally wrong. I get the same mis-guesses whenever I have someone guess my age but I have had someone guess my actual age. I know I never “guess” the age I really suspect a woman to be; it strikes me as nothing but rude to tell a woman who looks like she is celebrating her 40th birthday that she indeed looks 40.
Sorry. I get what you are saying though. I play that stupid game all the time. Someone wants me to guess their age, you are damn right I guess a good 6 or 7 years less than what I think…I’m not in the business of breaking hearts.
Dammit, I hate that whole ‘guess how old I am’ shit. No, I don’t want to who cares, ok, ok, you are forever 21 and I won’t believe you are a year older no matter how many crows feet and laugh lines I can see.
I’m 66, and look like my early 50s. I only have a few gray hairs higher than my sideburns, and the only wrinkles I have are a couple of frown lines, which I’ve had since my 30s. Both of my parents also looked very young for their ages, as does my brother.
It’s funny when I see people 20 years younger who have pure white hair.
I wonder, is it just an inability to see myself in the same way that I see others?
I just have messy hair and am able to see just how ugly I really am!