What if the waitress farts at you?
What if the waitress is a cheerful and pretty blonde quadriplegic?
Taking the thread seriously (sort of), if it’s a restaurant that doesn’t allow you to replace one item of a meal with another I would have no problem. I really don’t expect restaurants to change around their menu items just for me. If the restaurant wouldn’t let me remove an item from a dish, I would give a reduced tip and never go there again.
Do you know the most complicated insignificant question asked in the last week?
If the restaurant is playing country music and/or has soccer on the TV, I’ll only tip 12%.
With VERY few exceptions, I always tip 20% regardless of any restaurant policies. Unless the waiter/waitress is so rude or inattentive that it ruined my meal or the service is otherwise so bad that I feel the need to speak with a manager, I still leave a 15% tip.
If service is especially good or I really like the server, I don’t mind tipping 25%.
Of course I’d still tip.
However, if any restaurants start charging fees for accepting credit cards I plan to reduce my tip accordingly and make it clear why.
I’d tip 5%, or fewer.
If they bring ketchup to the table, no tip.
So you screw over the server for the owner’s actions.
I’m sure you have heard it before. The world’s best percentage tippers are waitresses out for a meal. Had one yesterday who said she’d never had to take a waitress job until she was 46 and found out quickly just how hard it is to do it well, and how physically demanding. She volunteered that before, she’d tip according to service quality, but now, 20-25% no matter what. the waitress is seldom the one at fault if you don’t have a good experience.
Well this thread is done. It’s turned from the original parody intent into another real tipping thread.
It’s easier to tip in a restaurant,
the cows are in smaller pieces.
It’s harder to lock anything in the car if the windows aren’t rolled up, whether or not you are eating at the time.
“You wanna tip, here’s your tip, let me make substitutions if you want a gratuity!”
I don’t like lettuce. If I ask for no lettuce and I get lettuce I don’t tip. The burger is now ruined and will still taste like lettuce even after I take it off so I make them make a new one.
My experience has been that MOST restaurants WANT to make customers happy, and generally don’t make a fuss over small requests. When the menu says “NO SUBSTITUTIONS,” there’s generally a reason that makes sense.
For example, there’s a Mexican restaurant near my downtown Austin office where I eat lunch semi-regularly. If I go there at 7 PM for dinner, and ask “Can I have the enchilada plate… but could you give me black beans instead of refried beans,” the waiter or waitress will almost certainly smile and say “No problem,” and will give me what I ask for.
On the other hand, if I go there at noon, their busiest time of day, I’ll see the words NO SUBSTITUTIONS written clearly on the section of the menu labeled “Express Lunch Specials.” If I ask the waitress, “Can I have black beans instead ofrefried beans on the #5 combo plate,” she’s probably going to say, “Sorry, no.”
She’s not being rude or unreasonable in this situation. Lunchtime at a downtown restaurant is VERY busy and very hectic. The Express Lunch plates are probably made up in large batches BEFORE the lunchtime rush comes. If the #5 combo plates have already been made up, I can’t reasonably ask for substitutions.
The waitress should be polite while explaining this- she has no excuse for being rude. But the restaurant has a very valid reason for setting limits under THESE circumstances, and a diner shouldn’t punish the waitress for telling the him he can’t have exactly what he wants at ALL times.
I’m used both to no substitutions and to no tipping… it simply never occurred to me to ask for a substitution when I was in the US.
I may not tip but I’d God Bless you and her always.