As Panache said, because unless you had somebody prank you and crazy glue the seat to your ass, it is no longer in the way once you stand up.
I think I now know, after doing a fully clothed experiment, what he meant about the “rubber forearm” though. Leave the issue of the seat out of it: when I stand straight up I can reach all the way down to my taint, basically; but if I bend at the waist, my butt pushes my forearm back so I can no longer reach as far.
That is funny. When I bend at the waist, my hand is in exactly the same place. It doesn’t move. Is this some thing that women can do that men can’t?
Also, the toilet seat has a very large hole in it. And as to the seat being in the way, I still don’t see how a rubber forearm would help.
Me, neither. I’m a sitter, and can reach quite easily without the seat getting in the way and can bring the paper around to see it and make sure I’ve cleaned myself up sufficiently. And I’m a man.
Of course, everybody does what comes naturally to them, but I don’t see anything unnatural about either way.
So, do sitters put their arm around the side or go between the legs?
Sitter here. Arm goes around the side, and after wiping I gaze down between my legs to verify whether the paper is coming away clean or not before dropping it into the bowl. The lean for wiping access is not uncomfortable or excessive.
at boy scout summer camp many years ago, our campsite had an outhouse with side-by-side seats, and I learned that one of my fellow scouts reached down between his legs to wipe. This seemed to me to present a hazard of having fecal matter fall on one’s hand.
So you lift your right cheek off the seat?
Not applicable. I use whatever bidet-like device is available at hand, which can be variable when away from home. At home, I sit.
Seriously – if you had poop on any other part of your body, would you just wipe at it with a little piece of dry paper and say that’s good enough?
[ul]
[li]Stand[/li][li]Sit[/li][li]Squat[/li][li]Wipe front to back[/li][li]Wipe back to front[/li][li]Wipe swirly[/li][li]Hand between legs[/li][li]Hand around back[/li][li]Lean forward[/li][li]Lean backward[/li][li]Lean left [/li][li]Lean right[/li][li]Left hand [/li][li]Right hand[/li][/ul]
Combine a few of those options & this poll is growing by leaps & mounds.
In the name of science, I decided just now to give the sitting wipe a try. But I literally could not do it. I was all ready to really go for it and review the whole process, and I made a good-faith effort; but I could not actually get a wipe accomplished that way. The closest I got was leaning with my left shoulder against the wall (the toilet is in a little nook or alcove for whatever you would call it), sitting on my right wrist, and using my fingers to sort of wave the TP around by the opening of my butt cheeks, but unable to really get in there. And if I had, I definitely do not see how I could have pulled the paper out to inspect it without wiping it all over my right thigh.
I mentioned before that all the incredulity seemed to be coming from sitters, but that now seems backwards. I don’t think anyone can dispute that it’s possible to wipe standing up. I am really wondering now about the converse. Are you supposed sitting wipers just punking us or what?
I suspect that our potty habits are taught to us by parents during potty training and we never think to question if anybody else does things differently. At least that’s the case for me. It’s never occurred to me that one would stand up to wipe.
I’ve been thinking of this threadfor a while, specifically the references to “split streams” and wondering if any women have this experience. I rarely seem to get a stream that doesn’t wash over my lady bits (gross!) and that thread made me realize that perhaps it’s because my labia get in the way. I was never taught to spread the labia while I pee, though, so I’ve wondered if perhaps some women are? You just can’t ask people things like that in polite conversation. 
I wonder if there is a male/female divide. I’m female. I’m sitting down to pee, so I stay sitting to wipe my girly bits. If I poop, it’s just a reach further back added. It never would have occurred to me to stand up to add the extra wipe behind.
But don’t you just reach between your legs in front to do that after peeing? Whereas it’s a bad hygiene practice to wipe your butt from back to front.
I’m in the camp of ‘it never occurred to me that anyone did it any other way’ - that is, sitting.
Don’t your butt cheeks close up when you stand? Mine do, and that makes it difficult to access the aperture involved. Whereas leaning to one side, the buns offer up their target like the petals of a flower opening to dawn. And of course one reaches around from the side, so as to preserve the danglies from possible cross-contamination.
Cecil needs to do a column, but by gosh I’m not going to be the one to write it.
Regards,
Shodan
The outhouse at the summer camp my parents sent me off to during my pre-teen/early teen years had 5 toilet seats in a row, with no dividers in between. If anyone ever stood to wipe, I don’t remember it; I’m sure it would have been remarked on, because if you’re different at that age, kids talk about it.
The Zen of butt-wiping.
That’s the basis for the one hand clapping - the other is kept to wipe your butt.
Regards,
Shodan
And that is the exact right answer. I have on rare occasions been forced by emergency to leap to my feet after deposit but before wiping, and it make 5 times as much effort to get it clean.
Now that I think about it, maybe that why some roommates used 5-10 times as much TP as the others. Maybe they always stand and have much more acreage to clean.
5 times as much effort? What about the experience I described? I used max effort and got zilch.
BTW, I just looked at the thread about penises resting against porcelain or even dangling in the water. That is truly disgusting.
Plus what do you standers so when it have a bad gut bug and it’s all juicy? Stand up and let it run down your leg and onto the floor?