When I have a gut bug there’s not much to wipe. It all just shoots out into the toilet.
But again: you sitters are arguing pros and cons and I’m telling you I tried my hardest to do it your way at least once, to give this supposedly better technique a fair chance…and I simply could not do it. It’s not that I couldn’t bring myself to do it but that I could not physically accomplish the action. Whatever “cons” you may list about standing up and wiping, a big “pro” is that my butt actually gets wiped!
Sitter-downer, between the legger checking in. Found the likelihood of unintentional fecal contamination of the wiping hand us lower than the lean and attack frrom the side.
Ok, I’m going to let you all in on my little secret to getting everything nice and clean. I do not have a bidet attachment, discovered this after I guilted myself out of using moist wipes:
A little dab of liquid hand soap right on target immediately before the action takes place. Non-stick surface to assist with the first swipe, plus a little lubrication to reduce irritation if it’s one if those special 23-wipe occasions.
Right now, I am sitting in a normal chair, fully dressed. If I lean forward slightly and reach around behind me, I can reach any part of my anatomy I’d need to (if my pants weren’t in the way).
Thus I conclude that anyone who has fairly long arms and is reasonably limber should have no trouble wiping while sitting (but there might be a problem if you don’t fit that description).
I think I have pretty average length arms, but I’m not sure. Limber, I am not: even as a kid I had trouble sitting “Indian style” or touching my toes. But before someone envisions Jabba the Hut, I should note that I am still pretty good at tennis in my 40s. My son is on the high school tennis team and I consistently beat him. Last summer, I played the number three player on his team and lost, but I beat the number four player. A strong first serve is a big part of my game (although my second serve is an Achilles’ heel), so my arms (actually, my right arm — but that’s the same one we are talking about here) are long and loose enough for that at least. I dunno.
Elective colostomy is looking better and better.
Except for the dangly part, what he said. I’m shocked to hear that people stand. Isn’t that something like eating the creme out of an Oreo without separating the cookies?
Maybe we standers know how to stand up without clenching our butt cheeks tightly?
Ugh, today when I edit to add something it just eats the part I add.
I can’t speak for other standers, but I am not standing bolt upright like a soldier at attention. More like someone straddling a couple rocks that give dry spots to stand in a creek. Speaking of which, have you sitters never been out on a hike or a camping trip in the woods where you had nowhere to sit?
If you put your left foot on the seat, no, rather the opposite.
Apparently you do.
Nonetheless, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG AND MUST CHANGE IMMEDIATELY!!!
This is America, dammit.
Regards,
Shodan
Woman, sitter, between the legs.
Is this thread about poop, pee, or both? I dunno about other ladies, but when I pee, it splashes around my crotchular region. If I stood up before I wiped, it would run down my legs.
Stander, here. And a question for my fellow standers: Did it ever seem like a really bad design the way those automatic flush toilets work? They would always flush before I had a chance to wipe, and then I was left trying to figure out how to make it flush a second time, after wiping and depositing. Seems like the industry assumes everyone sits.
In the interest of science, I did the sit and wipe thing after one of the earlier threads. I was surprised that it wasn’t very difficult at all. But as for why people don’t realize other folks do things differently-- well, how often do you watch someone poop? For me, that would be approximately never.
I’m just glad we finally have a non-political thread
Of course, there is also this
Because it might be a transgender person sitting down to pee, and then the terrorists have won.
Regards,
Shodan
Yeah, I sort of built something out of rocks last time. Actually, what I usually do in the wilderness is put my feet close to a small tree, grip the trunk, and stretch way back, getting my hindquarters as far from my feet as possible.
Well, what did you think rock climbing is about? It is not an accident that the double-loop sling used in rappelling is called a “diaper”.
Not so fast there…
Beautiful! You have the soul of a poet, Shodan. 