My husband is a lot skinnier than you are, and he stands. And besides, people don’t tend to change their wiping habits when their weight changes.
Well, as a sitter, I’ve never been unduly afraid of the toilet seat… until I just learned that people use them as a shelf for their junk! WTF? No! Just no! Even if you don’t care about the germs or whatever, what happens when that shit is cold? :eek:
There’s also the factor that, for me, #2 almost always includes #1 right before, and sometimes unpredictably during and after #2. Leaving the junk out on the ledge while I doo would just not do.
I guess I can tell when my bladder is empty. So no unpredictability. And I wipe off the remaining drops before sitting down.
But how would I not use the front of the seat as a shelf for my junk? Where else would it go?
Most public bathrooms have the junk area of the seat missing so that cuts down on the problem. But news to me, too.
Honestly, I was hoping not to have to go here, but dude, even if someone is 1000 pounds, and whether or not they stand or sit to wipe, the distance between their butthole and their junk could not possibly be so large that they can’t figure out a seating angle and position where both are contained in the space of a toilet seat hole. Apparently you sit much more forward than I do, because if I were sitting on an “old-school little round toilet” there would be no chance of any gap at the back of the seat.
Also, as alluded to above, what the fuck do you do on public toilets that have that area of the seat absent?
Poo on the finger is a whole other situation involving purell and paper towels and maybe cauterization or amputation of said finger. I am referring only to possibly bumping the back of the hand against the back end of the seat-hole.
Makes me super thankful I don’t use a lot of unisex bathrooms outside my home. Since I’m a scoot-forward and sit person, the lady-junk may bump the front of the seat at home but it’s over the gap on the split-ringer at work. Can’t imagine doing it where some random dude’s junk has been sitting. Just eeew eeew eeew.
I also had that thought- what if you’re holding your man-junk out of the way and have to pee?
I have a pretty decent size bum, and sometimes feel like I have the arm reach of a T-Rex, but I manage the sit n wipe pretty well and keep the bathroom floor clean too.
For me, I feel better and cleaner wiping when the cheeks are doing this (sitting):
/
Than when they’re doing this (standing):
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Amazing what you can achieve with four characters of ASCII art!
Yeah, I’ve noticed in the past that women tend to sit much more forward on the seat, and now that I think about men who sit forward like that on public toilets while trying to keep their junk from touching anything, I begin to comprehend how some horror shows I’ve beheld in public bathroom stalls were even possible.
The water is much colder.
(1) Why were you “hoping not to have to go here”? FWIW, if I sat further back, particularly far enough back to get my junk completely off the front of the seat, I’d smear “Hershey kisses” (at the very least) on the back of the seat.
(2) I avoid public toilets (for shitting; I’m fine with using them to take a piss) like the plague. In the rare case I have to use one, I’ve got several of those paper covers on them (this is after cleaning them off and drying them with paper towels and my pocket bottle of Purell), or TP if that’s all I’ve got (I will wrap that shit mummy-style around the lid) and I’m holding up my junk and desperately trying to avoid touching all the nastiness.
HAHAHAHA YES! We are kindred spirits on this at least. Love this.
Yet again we see a sitter trying to smear (no pun intended) standers as being the ones guilty of creating bathroom “horror shows”. :mad: This is getting old, fast, and it’s really kind of scurrilous, frankly.
Much deeper too.
Just have an erection at the time. That will keep it out of the way.
For the same reason that nobody says anything to that one guy who stands bare-assed at a urinal.
I guessed that men who sit towards the front of the toilet seat, yet somehow try to keep their junk clear of its usual perch on the seat, are the ones responsible. That has nothing at all to do with whether or not someone sits or stands to wipe. And this post of yours further demonstrating your level of disfunction just reinforced my theory. But now I’m the guy who said something to the bare-assed guy. :smack:
Do we have anything in the fossil record to suggest whether our ancestors stood or sat to wipe?
Squatted.
If any ancestor was far enough in the past to leave a fossil, it most likely had nothing to sit on. Or didn’t wipe.
Finally, a question to which I can add some expertise!
I was a stander until a couple of years ago and, like all standers, was aghast at the idea that some people wiped while sitting! However, due to my boldness and inherent love of process improvement, I decided to experiment with the sitting wipe.
My friends, I am here to tell you that am a convert! Sitting is the true path! Less toilet paper usage, faster, and (imho) improved assal hygiene.
The method is quite simple. Being right-handed, I lean forward and place my left elbow on my left knee. I then elegantly raise my right buttcheek at a ~25° angle from the toilet seat and perform the necessary ablutions from front to back, taking advantage of the increased exposed surface area to perform a thorough cleansing.
Now, shall we discuss the “folding” vs “scrunching” of the toilet paper dilemma?
I’m right handed, too. In fact I’m sort of super-right handed, as I’m just not good at much of anything with my left. But I never, ever, EVER wipe with my right hand. Always the left. In fact, it’s one thing I can imagine screwing up royally if I did it with my right hand (not enough practice, I guess). The roots of this behavior are lost beyond my memory timeframe, so I have no idea how or why it started. But there is a tendency to not want to soil one’s dominant hand, no?
I had to wipe with my dominant hand yesterday and it felt like a stranger was wiping me. Incredibly awkward.
Ditto. Longtime stander until I decided to try sitting in the interest of science and possibly laziness. It took a little while to get used to, in the same way it’s hard to wipe with the opposite hand. But once I got over the learning curve, I’ve never gone back and now much prefer the sitting method.