I think it’s time for one more Downfall parody, with Newt’s sizable face superimposed over Bruno Ganz’s.
So what’s his plan? Hope that Mitt falls short, and then convince enough delegates to come over to his side, even though he’s running a distant third?
Man, this guy is really grasping for straws here.
His plan is that he will give a brilliant speech… not from the convention hall podium because they won’t let him near that, but somewhere, and the delegates will finally recognize his destiny to change the world, and proclaim him the nominee.
Palin has a similar plan – to whisper in everyone’s ears that she’s available, and when the convention becomes deadlocked, they will come to her to save the Republican party.
The meek may inherit the earth, but they don’t win elections. Arrogance and overconfidence seem to be essential for anyone hoping to succeed in politics. Unfortunately, they also make failure that much more spectacular.
His plan is that Romney drops dead between now and August.
And that Santorum, shall we say, reveals the cause of his obsession with teh gayz.
And that Paul . . . remains Paul. I think perhaps a lot more Pubs like him than will ever actually vote for him.
Isn’t this the second time he’s… streamlined… his campaign staff? About a year ago, IIRC, most of them quit.
What is this, some kind of bot that clips bits from other posts?
Yeah, there are lots of those. I guess I should be flattered, but… banned.
I’d pay $1 to avoid being photographed with him. But I’d rather just leave the room than have to ante up.
I’ve taken a break from the boards and from looking at politics for the past week, so let’s catch up on Mr. Potato Head’s continuing slide into irrelevance…
April 4th: The Gingrich Group LLC, doing business as the Center for Health Transformation, filed for bankruptcy. The bankruptcy follows the same pattern of other businesses which Gingrich founded and then left:
[ul]
[li]The group uses Gingrich to leverage donations for a vague cause,[/li][li]Gingich lobbys on behalf of the group. Yes, he claims he “isn’t a lobbyist”, in the words of Mitt Romney (describing Gingrich’s advocacy on behalf of Fannie Mae) “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck,”[/li][li]Gingirch extracts wealth (in the form of consulting fees, book sales, subsidies for his campaign, promissory notes, etc.),[/li][li]Gingrich eventually cuts ties with the group (because he makes another run for office, or the cause becomes unpopular with the GOP base),[/li][li]Donations dry up, group goes bankrupt.[/li][/ul]
In this case Newt wasn’t fast enough to the till–his history of looting his LLC’s and the scrutiny that comes with running for president can do that. One of the assets he listed on his financial disclosure forms is a promissory note from Gingrich Group worth between $5-$25 million. Good luck with collecting on that.
April 11th: Yesterday the Salt Lake Tribune reported that the Gingrich campaign’s $500 check to the Utah State elections board–the filing fee to get on the statewide ballot–bounced.
Today, Mr. Gingrich addressed the issue at a campaign stop with the following defense:
[QUOTE=Newt Gingrich]
"This is one of those goofy things…That check was drawn in December. The account actually was closed by the time they processed it. It wasn’t a question of money. That particular bank account was closed…I went back and checked and it was entirely a technical question of the bank being closed.
“It wasn’t that we didn’t have the money in the bank but that particular account had been closed as they made a transition to a different bank on January 1.”
[/quote]
Although I’m certain that this was nothing more than a comical oversight (one that will be a premise in every late-night hosts monologue tonight), here’s a good example of how Newt’s inability to just keep his mouth shut does him in. A simple “There was a technical error, and it’s been addressed” or a quick, self-deprecating joke would have been fine. Instead he gives the kind of rambling, guileful excuse used by every deadbeat who ever came up short for a debt.
April 12th: You know how near the end of the movie when the villain is in trouble he starts killing his lackeys…
On News Corp. CEO Rupert Murdoch:
On syndicated Washington Post columnist George Will:
On the conservative media in general, and why he won’t hang at the cool kids table in the high-school cafeteria:
Finally, on the presumed country-club elitism of the Republican Party:
Newt continues to vow he will take his campaign all the way to Tampa, and is focusing all of his limited resources on Delaware prior to the state’s April 24th primary.
What, you expected him to go gracefully? I do believe he doesn’t get invited to their Christmas parties. Would you order an extra goose just for Newt Gingrich?
Well, if he did show up I’d like to serve him some of the humble pie, at least.
Only if it was his own goose I was cooking.
I think the Republican electorate has been attending to that quite diligently.
If you gave to Newt, brace for a flood of junk mail:
I have a mental image of Newt’s donors getting spammed with boner pill ads and business opportunities from exiled Nigerian VIPs. 
How, pray tell, did a paragon of Fiscal Responsibilty[tm] like Newt get into this hole? Well…
Belt-tightening is for the little people, dontcha know. :rolleyes:
April 13th: Although Mitt Romney’s tepid speech to the NRA (and the audience’s equally tepid-yet-resigned response) was widely reported, little attention was paid to the other current/former Republican presidential candidates who spoke to the same group that day. That’s a shame, because Newt Gingrich used his opportunity to call for universal gun rights:
This and the Moon Base campaign speech he made before a Florida group of space enthusiasts illustrate the main problem with the Gingrich campaign. He’s so addicted to winning big applause from the group he’s currently standing in front of that he’ll let his pandering reach obscene and hilarious levels.