I hate making phone calls as well, its a bit of a running joke at work that I’ll go out of my way to attend somebodies house to talk to them in person rather than just call them.
I find I’m able to explain myself and understand what a person is trying to tell me much better if I can see them. I’ve also found that people are markedly more polite and respectful when talking to them in person, that extra bit of removal that communicating over the phone provides enables some people to be much more unpleasant than they may otherwise be.
My sense of humour also translates much better in person, people can see that I’m just being tongue-in-cheek and sharing a joke with them, not laughing at them. Or if I can see the person its easier to tell when I shouldn’t make any jokes at all!
btw early thirties and I’ve spent most of my life living in a rural area with no mobile phone signal so I’ve never really grasped why some people seem permenantly attached to the devices (not a knock on mobile phones, they are quite literally a life-saving device).
I had no idea there were so many others like me who dislike various aspects of phone conversations! I’m 66. For the most part, I don’t mind receiving phone calls, at least from friends and family, but I totally dislike making calls, even to friends and family. I’m not even entirely sure why, but it’s almost like a phobia. I totally relate to all the comments about preferring online ordering as well as email and facebook for both business and personal communication. My husband is almost totally opposite. I think he knows I don’t like making calls and he usually handles situations that require phone calls. But he thinks I’m a terrible person because I don’t even like calling my mother. But I’m guessing there’s a family connection to this because my mother hardly ever calls me either. When I hear about mother-daughter relationships that involve daily phone calls, I feel a bit guilty until I remind myself that neither one of us would enjoy that.
Yes. people have told me this. And my dad pretty much expects that if I am home, I should be answering the phone just because he called. And lots of people bitch that I don’t always answer my cell phone.
I don’t care. The phone is for my convenience, not theirs. if I look at the caller ID (greatest thing ever) on the phone and you’re not someone I want to talk to I AIN’T ANSWERING.
I work on the phone enough at work. I would love it if I could get rid of my home phone entirely. It’s not happening yet.
I don’t like phone conversations as I can’t get any of the feedback of facial expressions and body language that help me gauge the meaning behind the words I hear.
The same is true for emails…that’s why emoticons were invented.
I do OK talking to those close to me as I pretty much already know their emotional reactions, and I’m OK with very information rich things like setting up appointments.
I very much don’t like the idea that anyone can call at anytime…they wouldn’t dream of dropping by and interrupting my dinner, but have no qualms about calling me anytime.
Give me face to face any day, unless it is someone who is angry…in which case I can’t hang up!
I’m not as bad as the OP, but the fact that I’ve done phone support as a living on and off, and half my other jobs involve being on the phone as well, should go a lot more towards being comfortable on the phone when I’m initiating than it actually does. So…I hate it. I do it, but I hate it. Not sure I could even say why.
This is me, though it’s mostly directed at businesses. I’ve had two phone calls (one to a bank, and one to a doctor) on my To Do list for at least three months, and I sincerely doubt that I’ll be placing either one of them soon. Online ordering was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
In my case, this is directly related to my anxiety disorder, though. Meds take care of most of it, but hasn’t touched my problem with phone calls.
I hate making or receiving phone calls. I MUCH prefer text or email. I’m able to convey much better that way, and you avoid all of the pauses, weirdness, anxiety, etc. I do get nervous on the phone, I pace and chain smoke… and I hate finding a way to end the conversation. I don’t really have the time for idle chatter anymore, either. I’m a busy working mom so my time is precious. Text me if you want to hear back
I’m in my 50s and I’ve never had a real problem talking on the phone. Texting, for asynchronous “meet me at 8” type messages is great; but using it for conversational purposes annoys me. It lacks the emotional and other cues of a real human voice.
Also, I’ve gotten the impression that, for some people, it lessens the motivation to get over what might otherwise be a minor phone phobia. (I know that some people have bigger issues, and some have speech impediments, etc., that’s not what I’m talking about.)
The one thing that I have found anxiety producing is political phone canvassing. I know from experience that the people (who are on a screened phone list) are almost always happy to hear from me, but I think I’m always fearing that one unusual person who will swear and hang up.
At work I receive a few support phone calls nearly every day. Mostly, if it’s a routine request, I ask them to send me an email with the request. That’s not because I mind talking to them. It’s because I like to have an email record of the request and my response.
Why does it have to be a phobia? People may dislike using the telephone for perfectly valid reasons, I’m not scared of using the phone, I just don’t like doing it and prefer face to face interaction for example.
In fact its for the exact same reason you state you don’t like using text messages, lack of emotional cues. I think only hearing a persons voice is one step too removed for comfort.
On re-reading my post that comes across more aggressive than I intended, the difficulties of using text for communication, nicht wahr?
I never said that it has to be a phobia. I said “for some people”. It doesn’t sound like you’re someone who uses texting as a crutch since that’s even more removed from person to person.
Just to be clear, I’m also not saying that everyone who texts a lot is using it because of a phobia, just that someone who has a slight phobia may have less incentive to get over it because they can just text.
Texting is a useful tool. I use it when it’s appropriate but, for me at least, it doesn’t make sense to use it as a substitute for talking.
