Does anyone else avoid calling some people by name?

Only when I’m not sure about the correct pronunciation. My sister, whose name is not easy to pronounce, notices lots of people avoiding using her name for that reason.

My mother tells me that she never uttered her inlaws’ names during the 10 years she was married. She’d stop what she was doing and go stand in front of them until eye contact was achieved to say “would you like more coffee?” rather than asking across the table or room “Anne, can I get you more coffee?”

In my first marriage I never spoke directly to my father-in-law. My 3 sisters-in-law all called m-i-l by her first name so I felt there was some precedent for it but it wasn’t comfortable for me.

My current in-laws (all of 'em) are far more relaxed people, and I’ve known them for years and years so it feel more natural for me to use their first names.

On a related note, there are some professors I have to call by their first and last name. It seems disrespectful to call them by just their first name, but too formal to call them Dr.

I am very Southern and we never drop the Aunt or Uncle. My wife is from Massachusetts and she doesn’t as well. I don’t think most people drop it as adults and that suits me fine. As a matter of fact, Southern culture has the informal honorary concept of Aunt or Uncle being used for people that are very close to the family and just play a similar role even though there is no official relation. Those people may or may not stay Aunt or Uncle for life depending on the circumstances.

I co-manage a group of people in India and they repeat everyones name at least after every “paragraph” in their speech. It is quite odd. The worst offender is an Americanized Indian professional woman that I like a great deal but she will repeat my name or anyone else’s name that she is talking with several times a minute. I had never heard about that trait and I would be interested to know if most people from India do that or just some specific groups? It is mildly flattering but definitely throws me off kilter as it does my coworkers.

This is pretty much my goal. The problem is with my FIL. I do a lot of little jobs around their house so I often have to yell all accross the house to get his attention for something or another. That means, of course, yelling his name.

Just do what my father-in-law does. Call everyone Harry. (unless his name really IS Harry. That doesn’t solve anything.)

I’m useless with names. Totally useless! I have three uncles and three aunts. When I was a wee thing I had an Uncle Larry, Don and Denny. I’m 40 now and they still have the same name. I only see them at furnerals so using “Uncle Don” just makes it easier

I always used the Aunt and Uncle attached to my aunt and uncles names. I had no problem calling my in-laws by their first names I mean that was their name. I never called them “mom” or “dad” though as I know some people do.

The only time I referred to people as Mr. or Mrs. was when I was younger and was talking with my friends parents. I knew their first names but never referred to them that way. It was a matter or respect I guess, but my childrens friends refer to me by my first name as I prefer.

This cracks me up. I guarantee if we met, you’d never even consider calling me Mrs. Cherry. We over-40s aren’t rickety oldsters tottering along on our walkers, you know! I’m 44 … and I think you’d view me more as a contemporary than a Revered Elder.

Or maybe I’m just kidding myself and I look decrepit to a 20-something?

Nah! :stuck_out_tongue:

As for the topic at hand, I have difficulties with my father-in-law, who has the same first name as my husband (and son). It seems odd to call him by that name; since the birth of little birthday boy, there, I’ve called him Grandpa. I call my mother-in-law “Mary” though – she seems more of a pal to me (though she’s 30 years my senior :wink: