Inspired by the thread on in-laws.
Personally, I avoid referring to anyone by a proper name to their face. Instead of “Hey, Dave!”, its “Hey” until Dave turns around. Sometimes I use surnames to avoid first names. Is it just me with this weird habit? I also hate being called my name to my face. I have no idea why any of this is so, I just do it and have done it as long as I can remember.
Anyone else?
Anyone?
What about you?
I use first names whenever I possibly can. The only exception would be friends’ parents whom I’ve known since I was a kid. I can’t stop calling them Mr. and Mrs. Whatever. I guess that goes for gradeschool teachers too.
I always greet coworkers by name when I pass them in the hall.
I generally only use proper names in order to specify who I am talking to, if it’s not immediately understood. Otherwise, I will rarely use a person’s name. Especially in the middle of a conversation, and I find it annoying when people do constantly refer to me by name while they’re talking to me.
If someone passes me with a “Hi, Finch!”, I usually will return with a “Hi!”, but not a “Hi, Bob!”.
The surname thing, especially if you drop Mr./Ms., will get you branded as a weirdo at best and a social moron at worst–especially if you do it to women. We had a guy at work who refused to use anything but surnames. (He especially sounded stupid when trying to differentiate between me and my sister when we both worked there–he’d use our full first and last names–“Wilhelmina Jones” instead of “Willy,” which is what everyone else called Sis.) We all laughed at him behind his back. Just warning you.
I do avoid calling older people, especially people in positions of authority, by their names to their faces. For example, the parents of my longtime friends and the senior attorneys in the law firm I worked at. Calling them by their first names often seems too familiar, while Mr./Mrs./Ms. So-and-So is too formal. When speaking of them to others, I usually go with the form of address the person I’m speaking to would use to refer to them.
Many years ago, I had a boss who wanted everyone to call him by his first name. I felt uncomfortable doing this, and I generally avoided phrasing my remarks in such a way as to call him anything.
I was quite good at avoiding the necessity for using a name or a title when speaking to someone. I had quite a bit of practice. When I was a child, my mother and father insisted that I call them by their first names. This embarrassed me, since none of my friends called their parents by their first names.
I have this, but only when, say, my GF and I are the only two people in the room. She’ll still use my name when she talks to me, but it sounds redundant to me. I mean, who the hell else could I be talking to?
Now, if there are multiple people around, and I’ve got to talk to one person in particular, I’ll use their name. Unless they’re already looking in my direction, in which case it’s not necessary.
It’s not neurosis, it’s…um…efficiency! Yeah, that’s the ticket!
My husband and I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve addressed each other by our given names. And we’ve known each other for 30 years!
The nicknames change every few years. I’m currently reduced to a single letter, “Q” and he’s a number of things, the most frequent being “_______-y boy”. If I DO call him by his name, I have to do it with a thick New York accent, kind of the way Anne Meara sounds. But really exaggerated.
I have a horrible memory for names and I have a job where I meet many people every day. I therefore have developed the talent to avoid addressing people by there name, using lines like, “hey, howya doin?”.
My gf uses a cute nickname for me and I return the favor.
I sort of have this problem. I always have had trouble calling my significant others by their names. But only them. Other people, I’m fine.
I’ve had to adjust a bit to be professional, as I work with my current SO. So I call him by his name at work. It weirds me, but I know it shouldn’t. At home, though, it’s all pet names. Brings to mind Jim Dear and Darling from Lady and the Tramp. My cat must think our names are Honey and Sweetie.
I know some people will call out their SO’s name during sex, but I can’t imagine doing that. And that makes me feel bad, because I think he’d like it if I did.
I also have the problem described in the in-laws thread, as well as feeling uncomfortable with hearing my own name. What is wrong with me??
I do that if I’m not sure what to call someone. For example, I have some professors whom we refer to amongst ourselves by their first and last names or various nicknames, but I haven’t yet figured out what they should be addressed as. So I just try to avoid being in situations where it wouldn’t be obvious that I was speaking to them.
uhoh…my SO thinks my name is “god”!
I’ve always been exactly the same way, and I really don’t know why.
I concur! 
I certainly don’t avoid calling people by their names, but I have noticed that the normal conversation rarely calls for it.
This seems to be lost on salespeople. Every since Dale Carnegie told them that the sweetest sound in the world was a man’s own name, they’ve been saying “Now, Norbert, what would it take for you to drive home in a new car tonight, Norbert?”
I think it is this unfortunate habit that makes it seem wrong to use somebody’s name.
I dislike it when my husband calls me by name. Referring to me is fine. Calling me by name is weird. Can’t explain it.
I call him by a pet name. Both of us generally avoid calling people by name. It’s like we’re superstitious about it or something.
The only people I know who use surnames regularly are members of the military, and even then they usually only do so with other military folk. I think it would sound arrogant coming from anyone else, or in any other setting.
I have no problem calling people by their first names, and I’m pretty good at remembering them. My basic rules of thumb are:[ul][li]Address authority figures and people significantly older than me as “Mr” or “Ms/Mrs” until invited to do otherwise. If I’m not sure how someone would prefer to be addressed, ask.[/li][li]Once on a first-name basis with someone, call them what they prefer to be called. Not “Phil” if he prefers “Philip,” “Kathleen” if she prefers “Kathy,” etc.[/li][li]If on a first-name basis with someone whose name is not of English origin, be sure to pronounce it correctly (or as close as I can get). Ask for the correct pronunciation as many times as necessary; never feel embarrassed about wanting to get someone’s name right.[/li][li]Use the first bullet as a guideline for teachers, too.[/ul][/li]Last fall I had a professor who did not specify how she wished to be addressed, and when I asked her she said, “Call me whatever you’d like.” She was older – probably mid-to-late 60s – and there were some students who called her by her first name, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. She will always be “Professor Brown” to me. But my nonfiction teacher this past semester was only a few years older than me, so when he told us to call him “Nick” it was fine by me.
I have no problem calling SOs by their first name. I was with the last guy for almost 3 months before I ever called him “honey” or “sweetie,” and even then it only happened a few times. Maybe when I have a relationship that lasts longer than a year that will change.
I also have no problem being called by my first name, though I do admit that I’d rather be called “Jenny” than “Jennifer.”
i have trouble calling people i don’t like/know very well by their first name. and i too hate the sound of my own name.
I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve addressed my husband’s parents by any sort of name. First names seem too informal–I’ve never been comfortable doing that with adults that I don’t work with…nevermind that I’m 22 and married…Mr/Mrs. ____ seem too formal…and I already have a Mom and Dad…I pretty much just look in their general direction and talk. Works pretty well. I’m shy by nature, so I think they understand.
I always try to avoid it. When I was little, I went to a liberal school where we called teachers by their first names. Everyone’s parents were Bob and Julie and Tom and Kris, not Mr. This or Mrs. That. Then I went to conservative Catholic school. At that point, everything seem too confusing, so I gave up on addressing adults when possible. I still feel that way.