…and how to stop it.
I don’t particularly like my last name, but people have always seemed to use that instead of my quite pleasant first name. Worse than that, they use it in a demeaning manner. This has gone on all my life and I’m sick of it.
How would I go about stopping this without sounding like a winy, overly-sensitive pussy?
“Please call me Barney.” Repeat anytime you hear your excreble surname.
You may, of course, substitute your own first name for Barney.
I feel for you. My surname rhymes with Fuck.
Seems to me this is IMHO material.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
Don’t respond when they use your last name, let them get your attention another way. “Oh sorry, I don’t go by that so it didn’t register that you were speaking to me.”
Treat it as a question, and reply “not since Tarzan died.”
Duck? Cluck? Pluck? Yuck?
Actually running through the alphabet, I realized my best friend’s last name rhymes with Fuck. That must suck.
If you dislike your surname that much, change it.
Nah, it’s actually two syllables, so you gotta make up another rhyming word, ‘Slime’ will do, and turn it into a sing songy chant. Slime-Fuck, Slime-Fuck.
It did.
1> Stop responding, answering or even acknowledging it.
2> Stop associating with people who do this to you.
3> Or counter-attack by calling them something worse. Every. Single. Time.
For the last one, if it’s in a professional setting - in other words these are co-workers - do not go profane or anywhere down that road. Call them by their negative work habits. Like “What’s that, Always Late?” or “Stop calling me (name), Mr. Frequent Cigarette Breaks”
Personally, I’d recommend the first two, with the last one only used for amusement purposes. (In other words, don’t use it in anger.)
Gluck is a German word meaning happiness and is pronounced something like “glook” in that language. It’s also not unheard of as a last name. In English though, many might pronounce it to rhyme with fuck.
Other than that I got nothing.
The OPs plight seems to be unusual. Other than him/her, it seems the only people referred to by last names are members of sports teams, by journalists and fans “Dubichinkoskow is having a great season this year…” or their coaches: “Dubichinchoskow, go in!”
I’m called by my last name or a diminutive of it by a few people and I’m neither an athlete nor a fan of sports in general. It’s not all that uncommon.
I had a co-worker who was a bit of a bully, she’s always call me Firstname Lastname, with emphasis on the lastname. My lastname (at the time, I’ve married since) was a slightly amusing one, and she’d always say it then do a bit of a giggle to herself.
Rather than address it when she did it, I actually just went up to her one day and said “Can I ask you a favour? Can you please stop calling me Firstname Lastname, I’d really just prefer you called me Firstname. Thanks”
It worked. She forgot a few times and I would just give her a look of complete exasperation. That also worked.
I get called by my last name all the time. Why? Because there are a billion and eight girls named Sarah in my age group, and I happen to be one of them. I’m about as far as you can get from a professional athlete, too.
dmatsch, why don’t you just ask the offenders to stop? The only reason you have to give is that you prefer to be called by your first name. Do it politely and calmly, and I can’t see anyone thinking you’re whiny.
Unless, of course, your last name happens to be “Urmajesty.” In that unlikely situation, just roll with it.
Yeah, it’s a dominance/ alpha male game.
Ask them to stop. “Please call me Frank” if that does not work, call them by their last name, and also “forget” to answer to your last name. “Hmm, were you talking to me? Didn’t I ask you to call me Frank?”
Even in the workplace, last names seem to be going the way of the dodo. You know how the formula used to work, and in some places still must:
underlings are addressed as Lastname
equals are addressed by Lastname but eventually by Firstname once a semblance of friendship has been reached
superiors are Mr Lastname (and indeed, almost always Mr, since this is the 1950s I’m talking about).
At least, this is how the workplace of the era is portrayed in films, New Yorker cartoons, and so on.
Among my law-school classmates, it’s fairly common. This is because, at least at our school, most professors refer to students as “Mr. Jones” or “Ms. Smith,” etc. So that’s how we all got to know each other: “Hey Johnson, are you going to Richardson’s party on Saturday?” I think it’s kind of cool, but then I’m not saddled with an unfortunate last name.
I agree with The Sonoran Lizard King. Simply tell people politely but firmly that you prefer your first name.
I have never liked it when people use the diminutive of my name. I am not a Jonny (not my real first name.) I recently said to a coworker: I know you mean no offense, but I prefer you don’t use the diminutive of my name.
He stopped doing it.
Hey, T-Bone! fist pump Woo woo!