A girl at work asked me an interesting question - why do guys (especially in athletics) call each other by their last names, but girls generally do not? I thought up a few reasons, but they’re just guesses. Is there a factual answer?
Because I hang out with 5 guys named Mike, 2 or 3 named John, a few Adams, some joes, etc.
The last name is more distinctive, when I say Milenka we all know who he is, but if i say Jake it could be 4 people my friends and I all know.
More diversity, I’d have say (as NevarMore did above me). There can be so many Davids, Joes and Jacks, but only one say Muller, or Stulce or whatnot.
Plus it just sounds cooler, or so I think.
I was going to say because so many of us have played on sports teams with 3 Jasons and at least a couple of Mikes.
Same thing I guess…
I too thought this related to sports or the military, but my friend responded “I played sports all my life, and I call all my friends by their first name. My husband (military) didn’t play sports but he still calls friends their last names”.
I remarked that maybe it just sounds tougher?
All I know is that I’m male and I hate that one of my male coworkers calls me by my last name.
Calling me by my last name sounds so “P.E. coach” like.
This is one of our classic pub conversations - the girls/girlfriends often bring it up (probably because its more obvious in a pub-like environment than anywhere else).
These are the (WAG) reasons we always end up giving them:
-
Its cool
-
It confuses women
-
We’ve always tended to come to the conclusion that women generally, upon meeting someone they like/want to be friends with will find out EVERYTHING about that person as a matter of course so its not really a big thing knowing details such as their surname etc.
Blokes, on the other hand, don’t generally do this (or at least not as fast) so calling someone by their surname is almost like saying “hey everybody! this guy is one of my reasonably close friends because i know him enough to know his surname!”
- It may be something historical here in England where, in your average small village, there would probably be a fair few Johns, Pauls, Georges (although probably very few Ringos), Marks etc. whereas surnames were generally born out of trades or particular distinguishing factors so were more unique and an easy way to quickly refer to the right person:
Medieval Wife: Hey! Where do you think you are going! The Hay on the floor needs changing and you promised you’d do it today when you got home from work!
Husband stops sneaking out door
Medieval Husband: Relax Woman! I know i promised but somethings come up! I urgently need to see the Taylor! in the pub
Medieval Wife: Oh okay…wait - what did you mutter at the end?!
Medieval Husband: gottogobyeloveyouseeyoulater…
900 YEARS OF MALE NAME CALLING TRADITION LATER…
GariGirl: Hey! Where do you think you are going! The living-room needs vacuuming and you promised you’d do it today when you got home from work!
Garius stops sneaking out door
Garius: Relax Woman! I know i promised but somethings come up! I urgently need to see Taylor! in the pub
GariGirl: Oh okay…wait - what did you mutter at the end?!
Garius: gottogobyeloveyouseeyoulater…
This would kinda explain why most of the Welsh, Scottish and Irish guys i know are generally less naturally inclined to do it (historically their surnames evolved from clan names - so weren’t as unique.)
I just thought it was worth pointing out that here in Hong Kong (or China) it’s much easier to go by the first name since surnames like Lee, Chan and Wong are so widespread here. 
“Tough guy” figures use this way of addressing other men (coaches, military, John Wayne) so it probably is related to the desire to look more manly. Plus, a group of friends here is Mike, Mike, Rob, Raj, and Ryan. Raj’s last name is tough, so he is always “Raj”. The Mikes are last name only, and the other two vary.
A contributing factor on the sports angle might be that the last name is generally the one printed on any uniform; calling someone Mike when their uniform has huge letters saying differently can be odd.
I despise being called by my last name and will correct anyone immediately if they do it.
My friends and I don’t actually use surnames vocatively. However it is a proven fact that every single person in Britain between the ages of 15 and 40 has at least one mate called Chris. And another one called Dave.
My understanding of why it’s less common for women to use each others’ last names is that since a woman will often change her name when she marries, it isn’t the same ingrained identifying feature as it is for a man.
Because the psychological distancing created by calling people by their last name makes things easier if you have to fuck them over in some way in the future.
Right, guys?
I disagree that this is a male-only thing. When I was an undergrad, my friends in sororities referred to their sisters (even those who were close friends) almost invariably by their last names. Fraternities did this as well though.
I’m a woman, and I frequently refer to my friends by their last names. But… only my male friends. I would NEVER refer to a woman by her last name. I have no idea why!
I recall meeting one of my father’s friends when I was a kid. He was always referred to as Berghouse. Everyone called him that. EVERYONE. It was probably another 10 years before I found out his first name was John.
For me, referring to others by their last name is a military thing. But I don’t know why I don’t do it with my female friends.
Max.
What follows is likely only a partial answer, but then, it is to a question which may really not have a complete answer.
Men may feel a greater sense of attachment or identity with respect to their family names than women because they understand from an early age that they will have them for life. Speaking of bringing children into the world, men sometimes speak of “preserving the family name”. This expression has always struck me as funny, as it is suggests that a surname will become extinct if the speaker does not have offspring, yet often as not spoken it is said by someone with a name such as “Smith”.
In the public schools in Great Britain it is customary for young men to be addressed by their last names, with initials being used to distinguish students with the same last name. This custom carries over into later life as a matter of class distinction; hence the numerous British authors who did not sign their first names: H. G. Wells, A. A. Milne, P. G. Wodehouse, P. C. Wren, D. H. Lawrence, E. F. Benson, etc. A number of the American writers who imitated this practice were Anglophiles; T. S. Eliot and H. P. Lovecraft come to mind as examples.
While it is not so firmly entrenched as a custom in the United States, the practice of addressing school boys by their last names is also practiced here to some degree. I recall that when I was a senior in high school my classmates and I were nonplussed when a new teacher was able to pronounce every name on the attendance roster correctly. Only now as I look back on that incident–nearly thirty years later–does it strike me that he only said our *last * names, and we accepted that as a matter of course.
Best explanation I’ve heard yet 
I’ve always thought we do it because coaches do it. Why coaches do it is another matter…
To the above thoughts, I would add that associating last names (and other generic terms) with men is a feature of the English language.
For example, if someone says “Do you support Clinton,” most people will assume it refers to Bill, not Hillary.
Similarly, if someone says “I was hanging out with Smith the other night,” most English speakers will assume you’re talking about a man named Smith.
Well I’m British, and male, and me and my friends don’t call each other by our surnames. I don’t really know anyone that does that either. Besides, calling someone by their surname seems a little formal and stand offish to me, not cooler.
Although G. Odoreida has a very good point i never thought about before. I for one know several Chris’s and a Dave.