Does anyone else dislike song parodies, or only me?

Cafe Society
61

I wrote one the other day. It parodies Taylor the Latte Boy as performed here by Kristin Chenowith. The reason is because my daughter was drafted to sing the verses at the local high school choir festival, and she played it over and over, until the alternate title sprang up in my head. Writing lyrics to go with the title was entirely in self-defense, I swear!

*There’s a boy I saw in “Twilight”
Who is very inspirational;
You can tell he’s inspirational
Because I said he is.
He is brooding and he’s moody
And he never smiles at anyone
When I see him look so sullen
I just think that he’s the shizz.

So because I am a poet
(and 'cos he’s so inspirational)
I just had to write this tribute
to explain just what I mean
And because I am a poet
I just had to say how good I feel
Every time he takes his shirt off
up there on the silver screen

And because I am a poet
I’m about to rhyme “po-em” with “foam” –
And this actor’s name is Taylor
And he provides the inspiration for this poem*

(What? I SAID I was going to)

*Taylor the Lautner boy
He’s a werewolf and Sharkboy
Oh, Taylor the Lautner boy,
I’m so on team Jacob, I love him.

When I first saw him as Sharkboy
He was cuter than a button
Just a sullen, moody button
with twenty rows of teeth
But I thought he was too young for me
And so I just gave up on him
With his moody, cute exterior
and the heart that beat beneath

But my heart kept right on yearning
And the guilt just drove me crazy
to be crushing on some little kid
I’m not that kind of perv
And then one day I remembered
I had seen that film in reruns!
Meaning he could be much older
And so I got up my nerve

And I looked him up on Google
Where I learned that he was twenty-one –
Well now, that’s a different story
And I’m sure I’ll be eighteen before he’s done.

Taylor the Lautner boy
He’s a werewolf and Sharkboy
Oh, Taylor the Lautner boy,
I’m so on team Jacob, I love him.

I’m one who buys all those teen magazines
For the posters of his hot form
And I fantasize about him loving me
In the theater while I’m eating my popcorn

Taylor the Lautner boy
He’s a werewolf and Sharkboy
Oh, Taylor the Lautner boy,
I’m so on team Jacob, I love him.

He’s the love for whom my heart has waited
Even though my father says I’m twitterpated

Taylor the Lautner boy
I’m so on team Jacob, I love him.
I’m so on team Jacob, I love him.*

62

Speaking of haiku, have you ever noticed that if you write a standard 5-7-5 haiku, it fits perfectly as a verse of Moonlight in Vermont?

Well it does.

63

One of my biggest WTF?! moments came when I was perusing comedy tracks on some filesharing network, and came across somebody’s awful attempt to parody … Weird Al’s “Dare to be Stupid”.

I’ll have to confess that I’ve never even heard Moonlight in Vermont. Also, I’ve never been anywhere near Vermont :stuck_out_tongue:

I have, however, written a haiku. I called it, “The Herbalist’s Lament”, and it should resonate deeply with anybody who has taken Herbalism as a profession in World of Warcraft:

Murloc blue and green
Always guarding stranglekelp
Go away, murloc