We’re gearing up for our annual holiday time visit to my wife’s parents and as usual, I find myself dreading the trips. I’m always completely stressed out by the end of the trip. One of the reasons is the tv is always on.
At home, we tend to use the TV as a data transmission device. We sit down to watch a particular show and when it’s over, we turn it off. Rarely we’ll channel surf, but the TV is never on if we’re not actively watching it.
At my in laws house, they turn on the TV as soon as they get up and then don’t particularly watch it. It’s just on in the background, all day. For some reason this really makes me nervous. I can’t just tune it out like they seem to do, and I find the idea of it just being on vaguely creepy. I end up taking lots of walks just to get out the house and have some peace.
It doesn’t drive me nuts. I have a tendency to do the same thing, however not with company in the house. I use it to fill the emptiness, so when real, live, people are there, off it goes.
My in-laws are the same way; if a room has a person in it, then the TV must be on. Worse is that they sleep with the TV on all night. It’s just the way they like it, I guess.
It doesn’t cause me anxiety but it does feel exhausting for some reason.
It does drive me nuts. I live alone and have the TV on only when I’m actively watching a show. When I was 22 and had just graduated from college, my parents separated, and I moved with my father and brother into a rented house. My dad began doing this as part of his “new life” I guess. Get home from work, walk in the front door, immediately grab the remote and turn on the TV, then go about his business of the evening. Like you, I used to have the leave the house, as when a TV or music is on within earshot, I can’t concentrate on anything else.
They’re also the kind of people who like a lot of chit chat. I can’t really explain it, but for me watching TV, or having a conversation are all more like activities I engage in and require a certain amount of concentration while they kind of just say nothing. As a result they ask the same questions over and over or make the same comments. I’m a nervous wreck by the time the visit is over and every year I say to myself “I used my vacation days for this?”
It drives me nuts! Why have the damn thing on if no one is actually paying attention to it?
Background music? Sure (if it’s soft.) Background sounds, like a humming fridge, a blowing air conditioner, traffic noise, bird noise, farm animals, etc. can be a little distracting, but, frankly, I kind of like all of those.
Screaming schoolkids, GAAH! Drives me absolutely insane! A friend lives next to a grade-school playground, and I simply refuse to visit him during school hours. If there is a hell, I know what it’s going to sound like.
My in laws were always like that. They had an open floorplan house with vaulted ceilings and tile floors and no rugs or upholstery or window treatments to combat the echoes. The TV was always on, echoing around so bad you couldn’t understand anything from it. They were constant conversators, too, so I’d be overloaded trying to process the racket from the TV and they would be yelling at everyone the whole time. Constantly turning off the TV and responding to everything anyone said with “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING, THE TV IS TOO LOUD” was too subtle. I would get treated like some kind of anti-social jerk for sneaking outside to catch my breath and hear myself think, and the Mrs would make a huge deal about it when I said I hated it there and didn’t want to go. I would feel deeply disturbed for days after spending just a few hours there though.
I really dislike it. I’m another person who wants the TV on when I’m watching it and then I turn it off. Having a TV constantly on is distracting and annoying. Some people can just ignore it (in which case, why have it on?) but I can’t. I can’t force myself to not listen so I can’t concentrate on the conversation I’m trying to have because I keep getting distracted by this other conversation coming out of the TV. And I can’t read or fall asleep if there’s a TV playing.
Man, I feel like I could have written this. Every year, I just dread going there and it takes me days to get over it. It’s nothing more than a week long forced smile, while I surpress everthing about my personality. The TV being on really adds to me sense of being smothered or overwhelmed by all the endless and inane data.
I’m convinced the TV being on and the endless small talk is to prevent any kind of real communication. I think they kind of live in fear of someone saying something they’ll have to deal with.
When we visit, I propose we stay in a nearby hotel and rent a car, so we have some control over how and when we interact, but the passive aggressive vibes emanating from the in-laws make it clear that they do not like this one bit.
Ah, it doesn’t bother me much. I can start an episode of Mythbusters, turn the volume low, hit the bed and I’m asleep in less than 20 minutes. It may not be the best white noise when used in this manner, but it works.
Well, they don’t really do all that much. They’re both pretty overweight. When we do go out, it is a nonstop stream of talk. The father in particular asks questions, lots of questions, but then he doesn’t remember the answers so he asks them again. If you are in the car and there is no conversation, he will literally read road signs out loud, like: “Shoney’s Big Boy, Exit 6; Frank’s Muffler Shop…”
I have kind of a high stress job and I need to make the most of my time off. To be honest, I think I’ll just stay kind of drunk for the week and check out. Last year I had the foresight to make sure my work took me to Kabul over Christmas. I’m in Afghanistan right now, so there’s always the chance the Taliban will put me out of my misery before Christmas.
I feel the exact same way. If you’re not actively watching it, turn it off.
My wife will turn on the news when she gets up and, when I wake up later, I will hear the TV and just feel my blood pressure rise. Sometimes (rarely) she will sleep in and I’ll get my daughter up and about, and she (my daughter) always comments about how calm it is when I get her up than compared to when her mother does so. Like I tell her: it’s because I don’t have that damned TV on!
I will say that I’m pretty sensitive to noise and I’m sure that has something to do with this (for me, at least.)
Another vote for cannot stand to have the TV on unless it’s specifically to watch a specific programme (channel surfing or just watching something inanely drives me crazy). And that’s just at the house.
I like to read when I eat, not have the TV on.
It drives me crazy when I go to visit a particular friend in the US, and she insists on having ESPN on at top volume the entire time.
Constant TV/radio/music just for the sake of filling up silence or to have on for background – ugh. I find it exhausting and aggravating, too.
My daughter’s ex-in-laws bragged that their TV hadn’t been turned off in 6 years!! What an odd thing to be proud of…
We just solved part of the inlaw TV problem. My FIL is hard of hearing, so my husband bought him a headset that he could adjust so he could hear the TV without blasting out everyone else in the house. The set is still on too much for my taste, but at least it’s lots quieter.
At home, I’m constantly turning off the TV when my husband leaves the room for any stretch of time. Other wise, he’ll go to his workshop and turn on the set there while leaving the set in the living room blaring away. I much prefer silence.
Seem to have drifted into ‘time shifting’ - watching shows at convenient times rather than broadcast times. Doesn’t feel quite like a ‘tv’ now, more an entertainment option.
Only sometimes watch the news at broadcast time.
I guess you do what you feel comfortable with - I know a lot of people like the’ company’ of voices in their home.