I went to Thanksgiving dinner at the home of my husband’s co-worker (we’ve known her for years).
The turnkey was lovely, the cranberry sauce was divine.
BUT…
They kept the TV on the whole time! Even in the same room as we were eating Thanksgiving dinner in.
And I have 3 small children (age 5, 3, and a baby) and the movie that was on (Star Wars Attack of the Clones) was inappropriate for them to see IMHO.
Now our hostess and her kids (teens) weren’t even paying attention to the TV, it was apparently on so often that they didn’t even notice it any more. But in my house the TV is only on when we are watching something, so it constantly drew my kids’ attention.
This made the holiday difficult. I was trying to distract my kids from watching this violent movie that was on all the time. I had a hard time enjoying the dinner because of the noise of people being light-sabered to death.
But it was not my home. And I didn’t feel that I had the right to tell my hostess what to do in her home.
On the previous occasions we have been to her home, she has always had the TV on, but it has never been such an issue before.
What is up with people who keep the TV on all the time???
That is one of the things I usually enjoy about getting together with others for occasions such as Thanksgiving. Usually the TV is off during the meal. If I wanted to watch TV and eat I would have stayed home.
Also, on a somewhat related note, I was driving the other night and noticed a TV in an SUV, and it looked like it was in the front part of the vehicle. As far as I could tell there was nobody in the back seat. Unfortunately it looks like some people are unable to run down to the store or wherever without having a TV. Pretty soon we will be unable to go anywhere without the TV blarring everywhere, whether we want it or not. Forget having to interact with people, look there’s a TV. Sad.
For many people, the TV is just used as background noise. You could have made a comment about the movie, but shouldn’t be upset if nothing was done. As you said, it was her house.
My TV is on from the moment I get up to the time I go to bed. For me it is mostly background noise. Heck I hardly even pay attention to it.
The appropriate thing to do would to have asked your hostess or host to turn it to a channel that was more suitable for your children.
Yes, when you are in other people’s homes you go with the flow but if you felt that the programming was something you didn’t want your kids to see you could have asked them to switch it. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. They are your kids and have every right to say what they do and don’t watch.
Heck, I had made a dinner for my brother and sis-in-law a few weeks back, made it clear that kids weren’t allowed and they brought their 2 1/2 year old over without even calling me first. They didn’t have a baby-sitter.
What could I do? Bannish them and tell them that he wasn’t allowed? No. I went with the flow and while us adults ate dinner (I had actually intended to have some basic music going and picked out five CDs for my CD player) I put on a Disney video so my nephew could watch.
So that’s what you do. You ask your host or hostess to accomodate your needs for your children. I admit I was a little miffed that my brother didn’t have the courtesy to call me to let me know their son was coming along but a good host will adapt.
I’m with George Orwell on this one: it’s done so that we don’t have to think. His example was radio, but it’s just as applicable to TV: by having it going non-stop, we’re never able to form coherent thoughts.
I’m in agreement with those who think that it would have been okay to ask the hostess or host to do something about the TV. Just say it in a nice, tactful and non-controlling way.
I don’t get the tv on all the time thing, either. I turn the tv on to watch something; I turn it off when I’m done. Dread Pirate Jimbo is in the “tv on when I get up and off when I go to bed” camp (in his defense, he watches a little of everything, from sports to TLC). As for having the tv on when company is over - your hostess is a bad, bad hostess. TV is not on when guests are over - the focus should be on your guests and socializing, not on sitting like zombies watching the glass teat. Even as background noise, having the tv on is intrusive - just turn a stereo on.
I have been to some dinners/gatherings when the TV would have been preferable to the conversation…
It is her house, and some people do like the TV on all the time. We have it on most of the time, and if people don’t like it, they can leave. I don’t claim to be a super hostess, but it is my house, my way goes.
Sheesh, over-sensitive much? Next you’ll be telling me I’m out of line for bringing my portable TV to Mass. “Hey, Pastor! Keep it down! I can’t hear what Ally McBeal is saying!”
Ha, was it red, and what part of town do you live in? My moron boss used to work at an auto accessories store and he had one of these installed in his SUV, at least at one point. I don’t know if he still has it or not. The televisions in the front seat (AFAIK) are very illegal for obvious reasons but of course he had his hooked up at the store off the books and the clock. He liked to brag about it. It’s one of the reasons I can’t stand the guy.
Yeah, I mean, get a load of those wacky people who insist on using electricity during their meals!
On topic, I think it’s inexcusably rude to have a program on that’s inappropriate for small children when said small children are present. Even if it hadn’t previously occurred to your hosts, I am fairly certain that it would have been difficult to not notice you trying to keep the children’s attention away from the television. However, I also think that it would have been both acceptable and appropriate for you to politely request a change of programs.
My theory is that the TV has replaced the fireplace as a focal point in most people’s homes. Either as the main focus to look at and sit around, or a background source of constant flickering light and noise (think crackling embers).
Not saying that this is a good thing however. An open log fire is much nicer, IMO, but most people live in smoke free zones and stuff.
