We must speak by the card or we will be undone. 
How should I address a woman North of the Mason-Dixon who’s name I do not know?
It depends on the context. But generally just omit it entirely. “Thank you” or “Thank you very much” instead of “Thank you, Ma’am.”
Compared to some things I’ve been called? pfft!
As long as sarcasm isn’t involved I have zero problem with Miss, Ms, Mrs, or Ma’am. If anyone gives a damn, my preference is for Mrs Lastname or Ma’am, but strangers won’t know that so I’ll accept anything that shows a modicum of respect towards me.
I don’t get emotionally why some women get their panties in a twist about this, but I accept it on an intellectual level that it happens.
Thank you.
I’m male, so it’s possible they are saying “man”, as in, “Hey, man, what’s up?” I have accidentally heard “man” as “ma’am” before. Usually context is enough to figure it out, but that doesn’t stop me for being sure for a few seconds that I heard the other word.
I don’t find it offensive in the least, and frequently use it myself. The only thing is I still do a double-take because I haven’t been called ma’am for very long. Every time I hear it I think, ‘‘Oh, that’s right. I’m getting old.’’
In my experience, it has nothing to do with age. It’s just being polite. A 20 year old salesclerk at the mall gets the same ma’am as a 60 year old bank teller.
Now…if they start calling you Miss + First Name, that probably means they think you’re old. My 64 year old mother who lives in Kerrville, TX is “Miss Ann” to everyone. It’s a form of endearment and respect, but yeah, it’s generally reserved for older ladies.
All I know is I used to be ‘‘Miss.’’ Now I’m ‘‘Ma’am.’’
In Philadelphia/South Jersey, this construction is used quite frequently regardless of age. At an agency where I interned as a therapist, I was frequently referred to by clients as ‘‘Miss Christy.’’ I’m 28.
Interestingly, one of my colleagues was once raked over the coals by a professor for giving a ‘‘Miss + Firstname’’ pseudonym to a fellow therapist in one of her papers. The professor said it smacked of plantation slavery and was clearly racist. Giant WTF? from all concerned.
Yes, either that or you’re a preschool teacher. All the Miss Firstnames I’ve known have been preschool teachers or library storytellers and so on.
Ma’am just means you look like an adult, not a teenager. Which, let’s face it, I am. It’s not like it’s a terrible thing to be an adult.
I don’t give a shit if anyone calls me “ma’am.” And if you are a stranger, that is what I’m calling you. You don’t like it, tough. I have ZERO patience for women who get insulted by this.
You, Sir, are NOT a Southern Gentleman!
No, wait…
I’m not a big fan of it. Calling people “ma’am” is certainly uncommon in Québec, and I think I’ve only encountered it in a sarcastic and/or rude context (or in a “Southern US” context, which doesn’t really apply to me) so I’d assume someone was being sarcastic/rude towards me. As Maggie the Ocelot said, omitting the “ma’am” and just saying “thank-you” or “excuse me” is sufficient, regardless of who you are talking to.
Anyone that (hypothetically - it’s never actually happened) calls me “Miss [Firstname]” would get a weird look and an instruction to just call me by my first name, if they are familiar enough with me to know it (I generally tell people early on, though!). When addressing me by my last name, my preference is “Ms. [Lastname]” (mizz), and that’s what I choose on forms and such. Mrs. [Lastname] is my mom! Anyone that calls me by my husband’s last name is a telemarketer and promptly gets hung up on!
FWIW, if I’m having more than a quick consumer transaction or short interaction with someone, I ask people to “tutoyer” rather than "vouvoyer" me in French; that is, to use the familiar address rather than the formal. “Vous” makes me feel old!
That’s not very polite.
I dunno about ma’am but being called sir often weirds me out. “Sir, you dropped your wallet, here have it back” is fine but “Yes sir, I’ll get that done immediately.” or “I’ll ring that up for you sir.” weird me out.
Being called ma’am doesn’t bother me in the least. What I do hate is being called “young lady” - I’m 57 years old and you’re not flattering me by calling me that. You’re just annoying me.
Someone told me it was a southern thing, but I’ve heard in all over the place, whether aimed at me or someone else. As far as I’m concerned, “young lady” is properly reserved for use with girls under about 10. But ma’am or miss are fine if you don’t know my name. Yes, I’m married, but I don’t get bent out of shape about Miss…
It always makes me feel/old dowdy. Exceptions are strong souther accents, from a much older person so they obviously aren’t implying I look older than them, or joking around with friends. If you do call anyone ma’am make sure you use it for all females regardless of age including teens.
This thread is five years old, miss.
So are the other two threads she bumped to complain about “ma’am”.