This would be a helpful skill to have. Does anyone know of a way that one can whip a corkscrew up with some commonly available objects?
LC
I have used a long (3 inch or so) coarse thread dry wall screw and vice grips on a couple occasions. Run the screw in until only about ¾ of an inch remains exposed, then grip and pull.
Swiss army knife
Steak knife. You end up pushing the cork down into the bottle but you can still drink the wine.
Break the top off the bottle. This one requires some finesse and is best done on a metal car bumper. You get one chance to do it right.
With a pair of pliers (preferrable needle nose) you can cut/bend a wire coat hanger into a corkscrew. Joan Crawford doesn’t like this one, though.
Whistlepig
A large wood screw is always good. Particularly if you also have a claw hammer.
You can chip away at it with various implements, but this always involves getting some cork in the wine. Not generally recommended.
If you are resigned to the fact that you will end up with the cork in the wine, it is better to push the whole thing in.
I haven’t tried tricks with synthetic corks, but I would imagine that these would have enought structural integrity to be removed by two nails – a method that can sometimes be successful with regular corks.
Push the nail into the cork at a 45 degree angle. Start at the edge and keep pushing until it nearly touches the inside of the bottle neck.
Do the same with the other nail starting from the other side.
Gently lever both nails down to bring the cork up – taking care that the cork doesn’t break.
After the cork has raised a little (don’t be too ambitious), remove nails, rotate 90 degrees and repeat the procedure.
Buy a screw-top bottle of wine or invest in a corkscrew.
You always travel with your Napoleonic cavalry sabre at your side, n’est-ce pas?
Much as I admire the DIY spirit and the inherent MacGuyver points, wouldn’t it just be easier to keep a swiss army knife with corkscrew in your pocket? I use mine as a keychain, have done for years, and have consequently not needed to learn the art of the improvisational corkscrew.
I do stand by my ability to make a bong out of any three household items, though. When will Victorinox think of the markting possibilities…
Keep a coarse thread eye screw on your keyring (if you’re out and about and this comes up a lot; otherwise just keep a box of them handy at home). Screw it in to the cork and use the keyring to pull it out.
I have a friend who is masterful at making hookahs from whatever is lying around in the course of maybe 15 minutes. He’s made some very memorable disposable pieces.
And to buy a corkscrew would be to give in to the man! By the way, last night we had to use an interestingly complex method. It was a synthetic cork that was unbelievably tough. Here was the procedure.
- Jam steak knife through cork twice, creating a sort of cross (it was strong and tight enough that it sort of sealed itself back up when we pulled the knife out).
- Force mechanical pencil down through cork
- Use pliers to rip back end of mechanical pencil off, thus creating a little air tunnel and eliminating the resistance.
- Close pliers and press down on cork until it finally falls inward. Enjoy comically loud noise and grape rain.
- Enjoy wine despite the fact that there’s a little cork/pencil unit floating in it.
LC
Find a sturdy wall (v. important to locate the stud – if marble walls are used, fold up a towel/t-shirt to use as a cushion. A palm tree will do in a pinch also).
Remove foil wrapper from top of wine bottle. Holding the bottle horizontally, hit it firmly yet flatly against your wall/palm tree (so that the entire bottom surface of the bottle strikes your surface) . Repeat until cork is forced out of bottle by pressure.
Hazards include: not finding stud, subsequently putting bottle through drywall (oops). Using marble wall without cushion, smashing bottle (oops). Not advisable to use this technique if you are already drunk.
If you have a tree handy, then you can tap the bottom of the bottle (gently!!). This normally works the cork loose.
Alternatively, give me a call and I’ll be round in 10 minutes to give you a 'screw (in return for a liquid fee, of course).
Ummm… how about switching to sparkling wine?