Same here. My gf and I are both 50 (which, I pointed out to her makes us 100 together). The weddings we get invited to are seconds or thirds, along with weddings of our friends’ children.
Wow, some of you are friends and/or relatives with some bad party-throwers. All of the weddings I’ve ever been to had raucous music and dancing and food and booze and good times were had by all.
As I always say, get the pictures taken before the wedding. Your makeup and hair are perfect, the flowers are fresh, and there are no guests there yet to be neglected.
The only wedding I’ve really enjoyed was my son’s. Outdoors, I knew almost everyone, the wedding march was music from Star Wars and the favors were M&Ms in the Seattle Mariners colors. They were more concerned that their guests had a good time than in putting on a show.
I would have enjoyed some weddings of close friends but lately those have been quiet, family-only affairs, or they went to Vegas.
Why are you crashing weddings? I mean, how did you wangle an invite if you don’t know anybody?
Seriously, the practice of sending invites to everyone the couple or their parents ever knew is stupid, and inhospitable when it means that there are too many people there to actually entertain. It’s still a religious or civil service followed by a party, at which the hosts must actually be hospitable, not a pageant to be advertised to the widest audience.
All three of the weddings I’ve been to in the last few years have followed the better pattern. Two were small (scott & jeremy evil and kung fu lola and her wife Sarah) and one was medium-to-large (bro_mcl & mrs_bro_mcl) and in all cases they planned their weddings in a style that saw to it that all guests were well taken care of, at ease, and having a good time, with ample opportunity to be friendly with each other. So I enjoy weddings, although I haven’t been to a truly dismal wedding such as I’ve often heard described.
I, of course, have been planning my wedding ever since I was a little girl (still working on locating the guy), so it’s gonna be awesome, but the central consideration will be on the guests’ enjoying themselves.
I think I used to like weddings. I’m 40 now and I have three kids and weddings are nothing but a massive pain in the ass. It is just a huge headache to figure out what to do with my kids. Either they come and I spend the whole time tending them to keep them from ruining everything or some sort of massively expensive and logistically challenging babysitting has to be arranged.
Basically they are just too much work with not enough fun for me. And I like dancing.
In other news I also hate Christmas now.
Love them.
I really don’t want one for myself (just sign the paper that says I have a husband), but I enjoy going to my friends and relatives’ weddings.
Heck, last wedding I went to was in Brazil… I enjoyed my visit before the wedding that by that time I already had a partner. 
Love weddings! I get to dress up, I get to dance, eat, drink, meet people, talk…Honestly, if you don’t own some nice clothes, hate to pay for a gift, are afraid you won’t be able to get as drunk as you like, and would rather sit home playing video games or something, by all means, stay home! Have the decency to send in that little RSVP card stating you will not be attending, that is, if you even bothered opening the invitation.
I love being at the weddings of people I care about, and I can’t say I’ve ever been to the wedding of someone I didn’t care about–why on Og’s green earth would I do such a thing? Being at receptions, otoh…I’m okay with some cake, punch, and munchies for an hour or so, but a big elaborate hoorah makes me want to just skip the whole thing.
Some weddings are great, and some suck. They’re like movies.
Mrs. RickJay’s best friend got married this year. It was a fantastic time.
One of the best ones ever was when I was thirteen and my cousin Gayle got married. Well, technically it was after the wedding reception, and we were all back at the hotel. Us kids were all running up and down the halls at the hotel and playing on the elevators.
Then, our bratty little cousin Cory came along and couldn’t decide if he wanted in the elevator or not, and the door was about to close, so C.B. said, “Just GO” and tried to nudge him in the elevator before it closed…only he was too late and the door closed on his head. Hehehehehe…we still talk about that. Damned little brat – he’s still an asshole. (Of course, he was wailing “Craig Blair pushed me!!! Craig Blair pushed me!!!”)
Did you ever see a little kid catch the garter/bouquet? My cousin Brian did when he was about 8.
This. Pictures take awhile anyway…why on earth would you make guests wait for you?
Also, my sister’s wedding was a ton of fun. Not a lot of people, 15-minute secular ceremony, amazing food (even if I couldn’t eat it all :(), good music to dance to, and really good wine.
It depends on the wedding.
A friend’s wedding, where I will be seated at the “friends and cousins” table? Great.
A relative’s where I’ll be seated at a table where the next-youngest person is my mother, and/or where I’ll be expected to play Junior Hostess? I’ve already informed the family that if that happens again, Mom will go home in a taxi.
Oh, and I’m female.
Male, I love weddings. Usually only go to those of friends, and it’s always nice to see people I love having a great time. Never been to a sucky one yet.
That’s unusual?
I mean, I’ve never been to a wedding that *wasn’t *like that. How else would you do it?
Being seated at a formal dinner with people whom I don’t know is not fun; and I’m a fairly outgoing person.
I am always the designated driver, so drinking is out.
I don’t like to dance: at all. It gives me absolutely zero pleasure to flail my body around to “Old Time Rock and Roll,” “Sweet Home Alabama,” or the “The Chicken Dance.”
Then there’s the babysitter thing.
No, I’d rather do just about anything else than go to a wedding. Although last summer a good friend of mine had his wedding on his parents’ farm, and guests were encouraged to camp out for the night. Considering we brought our own booze, and didn’t have to drive anywhere after, and the kids were welcome, we had a blast! Otherwise, not fun.
In a lot of areas, yeah, it’s unusual. The big elaborate dinner/dance/cocktail hour thing is pretty much for the ritzy-titzy (or those who want to look ritzy-titzy) in the Midwest and South. Anywhere people traditionally had less money and/or there were traditionally large concentrations of religions that frown on booze, that sort of wedding is going to be relatively rare.
How else would you do it? Damn near any way you want, of course. I’m rather fond of the traditional Baptist thing, myself. Ceremony at 2 or 3, appetizers and punch/soda/coffee for 20-30 minutes in the fellowship hall or other small inexpensive space while they finish the pictures, then hang out for an hour or so, do the cake thing, go home around 5. They don’t typically feel the need to invite a cast of thousands, just their actual friends and family and the church congregation (very few of whom come if they’re not actually friends of the family anyway). The food is usually made at least in part by the cooks in the family, so it’s typically pretty nommy. The couple can get some of their travel started, or just go to the hotel and have a quiet romantic evening together. People who had to drive a few hours can go home and sleep in their own beds instead of having to get a hotel, and people who didn’t want to bring their kids have an easier time setting up childcare during a Saturday afternoon instead of Saturday night.
And you wouldn’t believe how much money and time and stress it saves for the bride. Ten years ago when my friends and I were all getting married, the bridal mags said the average wedding cost $20,000–the most expensive one any of us threw was about $5000.
I’ve been to tons of weddings that had cocktail hours but they’re always after the ceremony - it’s basically just so the bride and groom and bridal party can get all their pictures taken and what not.
I must say I like the idea of liquoring up the guests a little before the ceremony, though.
Knowing the bride and/or groom doesn’t mean you know anyone else. And since those two people are often otherwise occupied, well…
I do think a lot of people don’t get that there’s a tradition of inviting people with no preconception that they will actually attend, especially if they don’t want to. The invitation is often more of an announcement. The people you really want to come, you invite in a much more personal manner.
ETA: And I don’t see anything wrong with doing it to try to get gifts from people. You often need some stuff to start out, but you know it would be rude to directly ask. So you are merely providing a way for the person to give to you, not trying to force them to do so.
I like going to weddings, if it’s a friend or relative getting married. All the weddings I’ve been to, including my own, had plenty of food and booze, and dancing as well. The last wedding I went to was literally in my own back yard - we hosted my cousin’s wedding, and made the food as well. It went pretty well, and we all had a good time. The next wedding I’m going to is that of my BIL’s younger brother and his girlfriend, in February. I’m pretty sure I’ll have fun.