I can’t find the quote and don’t remember where I read it – maybe here, I’m not sure. It might have been Regis Philbin who said it. Maybe he was snarking on Kelly Ripa or Kathy Lee, who probably had huge weddings and were big ol’ Bridezillas.
I’ve been a bride (twice), a bridesmaid, a mother of the groom, a stepmother of the bride, a step-grandmother of the bride, and a guest, lots of times. I could have done without any of it. Just show me the photos. No wait, I don’t even want to see the photos.
Maybe if all the weddings weren’t the same, I’d look forward to them. I did have a good time at my son’s Star Wars wedding. But all the others – it seemed like everyone involved was tired, wrung out, nerved up, unhappy, and really just wanted it to be over. It was something to get through.
Maybe it was the mix of people who wouldn’t ordinarily spend time with each other – you might only know one or two people, and the folks in charge are too busy with food and photographers to be good hosts.
Nobody. This is why brides are so fucking annoying–they can’t comprehend that no one (not even the groom) gives a rat’s ass about their wedding and that no one is going to remember her dress, or the flowers, or the music, or the little bags of Jordan almonds on the table.
I remember the one great wedding I went to (South Philly over-the-top traditional Italian wedding–great food, great music, interesting people) and the shitty weddings I’ve been to (traditional Italian meets New England WASP equals shitty food, crap music, and boring guests, just to name one). I’ve pretty much forgotten all the rest.
Here is the recipe for a good wedding: short ceremony (and don’t kid yourself you’re doing anything different from a gazillion other brides), good food, free booze, and decent music. If you’re lucky, you have interesting friends so your guests won’t be bored. Or maybe they’ll be entertained by your crazy/drunk relatives.
I adore going to weddings. Free food, other people in love, and dance music. It’s pretty much the ideal shindig for me. There is only one wedding I’ve ever been to that I didn’t really care for – it was really Jesus-y. Christian pop music was the only music they played. But it was still kind of fun, because there was the free food!
Brides are annoying because they are so pressured to out-do the Super Bowl.
As the Interesting Friend and the Crazy Drunk Relative, I have a good time at many weddings.
I am approaching my first wedding in which I will play a parental role; I am dreading it and expect to have no fun at all, as it will be my job to help keep the Interesting Friends and Drunken Crazies in-line.
I wonder how a mild hallucinogenic would work for me …
I enjoyed the last one I went to. Except the weather was way too hot for wearing a wool suit. And the sun was in my eyes. And the food wasn’t great. And I was exhausted, dehydrated, and cranky by the end of it.
But the bride was anything but a 'zilla, everyone was great, it was low key, and everyone had fun.
I should add, though, that my brother offered my niece $5000 to elope.
When I was a teenager they were the worst form of punishment. I mean, having to spend a whole evening with my family, and not just the ones I see all the time, but the ones I normally avoid.
My sister’s first wedding was in the church, with a reception immediately following at my parent’s farm. It was 98 degrees and brutal sun. After hours and hours of dealing with it at the church and a good two hours at the farm, I went and changed out of my rented tuxedo, into something more comfortable.
My mother went apeshit. No pictures had been taken at the reception yet! After two fucking hours in brutal heat and sun! Get back in that Tux!
Her second wedding was in a rented mansion. Same time of year, it was 97 degrees outside. Just before the ceremony, the mansion people decide to turn off the A/C because it’s too loud. We all howled bloody murder and made them leave it on. Sure, it was cool inside at the moment, but with over 100 people crammed into a large living room and 97 degree heat outside, it wasn’t going to stay cool very long!
When a friend got married, again the reception was in a backyard, with temperatures around 90. I swore a blood oath that I would never attend another outdoor reception during that kind of heat. Those people are fucking insane, and they have no concept of how hard it is on their guests.
Since then I’ve attended two weddings that had outdoor portions (one ceremony, one reception), but both were in much cooler weather.
When I got married, it was in our living room, with her best friend presiding, with her daughter and my sister as witnesses and our only guests. Then we went to Baker’s Square for dinner. That was the way to do it.
Certainly much easier way of doing things. My wedding this summer is not only going to be indoors, but on the coast. Atlantic Ocean=Nature’s Air Conditioner.
I dread most weddings, mainly due to the Bridezilla thing. They haven’t been remotely enjoyable because they were productions and everybody but The Bride–including the grooms–nothing more than walk-ons or audience. A few folks seemed to wring enjoyment out of the receptions by catching up with relatives so that’s nice, I guess.
Fair disclosure: my family runs high to a particularly stuffy variety of Methodists so alcohol at the receptions? Ha and fat frickin’ chance. It’s even less likely with the few Baptists who’ve married into family. The (barely) extended Veb clan sure ain’t party animals. I’m not much of a drinker but some anesthetic would be welcome.
Anyway, count me with the folks who find most weddings tiring and uncomfortable. Too often I’m embarrassed for the brides, for their fevered, unpleasant ‘best day of my life fairy tale fantasy or else’ ego bloat. I keep thinking they’ll be so ashamed when their fervid emotional high wears off but none of 'em ever are. A few have bitched about presents received or quality of the pictures. Then I’m really ashamed for them, and pretty disgusted too.
There’s a bare chance I’m a curmudgeon.
One wedding was splendid, though. I loved it. It was in the morning, everybody–including the bride–just wore ‘Sunday best’ type clothes. The service was brief but so joyous. The couple were so obviously dazzled bymarriage, not the wedding-as-event. The couple didn’t do the stage-set processional but (with their parents) welcomed all the guests. It was dignified but so relaxed. They really wanted the guests to be happy with them, not just sit down, shut up and admire the show. The reception was brunch at a local inn; lots of happy talking, even among strangers. A minimum of showy fuss but a thoroughly happy, splendid wedding.
Well, that answer rambled all over the north forty.
One of the best weddings I’ve been to was one of my cousins. Her fmily had planned a big country club shindig, and just a month or two before the wedding, her father’s business tanked. No money to hold this major wedding. So the family pitched in. My mother did the flowers. All my mother’s brothers trained as chefs, and one did the food. One of my other cousins did wedding cakes, so she did the cake and the groom’s cake. The my cousin the bride is adopted, and had some identity issues in her late teens. Somehow, the family pitching in to pull off her wedding made her understand that she a member of the family.
We all had fun, the food was great, and it drew everyone together.
I like weddings. What I have noticed is that every couple I know getting married seems to like to talk about how low-key and no-fuss their wedding will be – they’re not wasting money on such and such, they got the cheapest hall in town, etc. Something about talking about how low-key you are makes me think that you’re not really low-key.
Hate them. With a passion. I derive no joy from participating in someone else’s self-serving bullshit. My wife feels the same way, and that’s the big reason we went to Vegas to get married. We knew nearly all our family and friends would be relieved we weren’t placing a burden on them. And for those who felt otherwise? Fuck 'em…they were just in it for the booze.
I love weddings if I have a date. It’s fun to dance, drink, and socialize. I guess it’s because I like my relatives and the booze flow like water. The ceremonies are a little long, but what Catholic ceremony isn’t? I’ve never been to a wedding like any of the ones you people are describing.
The only wedding I’ve ever enjoyed was my brother’s, because I love my brother and sister-in-law dearly and it was a really nice wedding. Otherwise, weddings combine my least-favorite activities in the world, which are dressing up and dancing in public.
Hmm, most are ho-hum, some kinda teary with emotion, the few I photographed were so fraught with tension that I knew that job wasn’t for me (wedding photography at it’s best is an amazing art, you have to have a certain dogged finesse
and great skill under pressure, plus follow-up skills to make it realy worthwhile).
But there was one wedding that really brought me to good tears in it’s beauty. It was a marriage after baby, for a fine physicist/bass player in Misssissippi, and held in a cotton field out in the Delta. Poet John Sinclair came up from New Orleans and did the service, and, I wish I could remember it exactly, but he talked about love and bonding, and the bonds of the child that now held the couple. They were holding their baby together out in the cottonfield, and it was all blessed in the presence of friends.
And then we all went and ate an amazing Southern spread of food, with great music played live by the bass player/physicist’s friends.
They now have three kids, and love each other still. And the acoustic physicist is doin’ good wonderin’, too. scooped off a paper:
I dunno at all what that means, but it has echoes of Happily Ever After. They deserve it, too.
I loathe weddings like poison. They’re everything I hate in one package. Crowds, religion, somebody else’s obnoxious schmoopiness, uncomfortable clothes, boring-ass ceremony, dancing and (usually) bad, catered food. As a general rule, I’d rather be in the middle tier of an Abu Ghraib man pyramid than go to a wedding. They’re the lowest form of culture – the glorification of narcissism and banality. They can be made more painless (short ceremonies, casual dress, decent food), but they can’t really be made enjoyable for me. It always feels like my attendance is a duty to be endured. I only go to the ones I absolutely can’t get out of.
The worst thing that can happen at a wedding — the absolutely most excruciating torture – is when the couple writes its own vows. Unbearably vile and uncomfortable. Watching people profess their undying love for each other is like watching someone take a shit. It should never be done in public.
I love wedding receptions - as long as they have (1) booze (open bar preferred) and (2) good music and dancing. Weddings are are a chance to get dressed up, celebrate with family and friends, eat and drink, dance and party!
Booze is important - I went to my first dry reception last weekend and it was utterly boring as hell. It’s a party - the hosts should at least offer the guests drinks. I also prefer late afternoon/evening weddings. No one wants to drink and party at 1:00 pm in the afternoon. I prefer buffet style to sit-down dinner. It allows people to mingle and is less stiff/formal. Also, it’s a lot nicer when the wedding and reception are in the same place - i.e. not in a church. Short, non-religious ceremonies are preferred - the faster we get to the drinking and dancing, the better!
My family weddings are always a blast. My family is a ton of fun, knows how to party and we throw the best wedding receptions ever. Everyone’s dressed up, drinking, dancing, and having a great time! How could you not love that?
The best wedding I’ve ever been to was probably the least expensive. It was on a farm out in the country and the food was a big barbecue buffet which was delicious, and it was picnic style - big blankets spread out all over the grass. They had the best bluegrassy band and it was so much fun.
