In a conversation today, I was told that “a busy schedule is often the mark of a lonely person.” I don’t think the comment was meant as an insult in any way, but I have been thinking about it ever since. Do you think there is any truth in it?
Depends on what’s on the schedule. If it is all work stuff, maybe. If it is social stuff, no. The proverbial nerd sitting playing games in the basement doesn’t have a busy schedule after all, but is very likely lonely.
Part of my “busy schedule” is doing things with or for my family, so no, I don’t feel lonely. In fact, the wife and I “get busy” often, and I seldom feel lonely becouse of it. (wink)
I have heard of this. Of course, it can’t be said to apply to all busy people, as I am sure most busy people just have a lot of stuff to do, but someone who constantly fills their schedule to the brim, either with work or social obligations may be trying to distract themselves from the emptiness (real or percieved) in their lives.
Just because you are busy or have a lot of friends, it does not mean that you are happy.
I think there are some busy people who are simply afraid to be alone. They don’t have a deep relationship with someone special, so they obsessively fill their time with more superficial activities, so they don’t have time to be lonely.
There are going to be tons of genuinely busy folks for whom this does not apply. Having a job, spouse and kids takes up a lot of time, you don’t need to find ways to busy yourself.
Busyness can be used to hide loneliness from oneself and IMHO is a good indicator. It is a distraction to prevent you from understanding yourself and your needs. It could also be imposed on a person by others, for various reasons, normally nothing good.
This sounds like sour grapes to me. Some people enjoy a nice quiet home life based on a small number of very deep relationships. Other have a lot of energy and like to get out a lot. Neither is better than the other, and you don’t have to have something “wrong” with you to have a preference.
I have noticed that single friends of mine are definitely busier than me and my friends who are in relationships, but I wouldn’t necessary equate busy with ‘lonely,’ which indicates an unhappiness at being single.
Sometimes I’ll inform people just how busy I am just so they’ll leave me alone. So . . . it depends.
There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. A person playing computer games by himself may not be lonely at all. I am probably one of the few people out there that never really feels lonely. I live in Chicago and it’s big enough so there’s always something to do. Now with the Internet there’s so much to do and so many ways to live your life and enjoy it, it’s hard for me to imagine being lonely
Not at all. It’s the mark of someone who always likes to be doing something with people. It’s not any worse or better than my busy schedule that involves wanting to sit at home by myself and read a Mark Twain book that I bought last weekend. It’s just different.
To each their own.
There’s a flip side to that in that you can be lonely BECAUSE you are so busy. If you work a job where you have to work long hours or travel a lot, that doesn’t leave a lot of time to build and develop relationships outside of work.
Well sure. I did jack shit today. My GF and I went out for breakfast, sat around the appartment all day and will go out to dinner in a few hours. We have each other to keep each other company. If I were single, I’d basically be by myself for days at a time if I didn’t plan stuff to do. Single people tend to look for things to do where they can meet other people.