I never give money to people asking for it, but if the mood strikes me, or if I see someone not asking for money, but going through the garbage for food, I’ll offer to buy them a burger or something. Since I’ve started doing this, I’ve offered to about 10 people. Three took me up on the food. One said thank you.
As time goes by I feel less and less likely to do so.
I live in Venice Beach, CA, and there is definitely no shortgage of homeless people hitting you up for change. I have developed a knee-jerk “sorry, man” response.
This is my reasoning (rationalization, I suppose):
I have significant debt . . . a negative net worth, so in theory the homeless are actually worth more than me. They should give me money.
I pay significant taxes every year, thus contributing to the infastructure they live on.
I see many homeless people in the liquor store dropping a handful of change on the counter with a 40 in their hands . . . and if I was homeless, that’s how I’d spend my money, too . . . however, I dont’ feel obligated to contribute to their intoxication.
I’ve had many homeless ask for money, and when I politely decline, they’ve exploded into a tirade of insults. Didn’t really motivate me to give in the future.
I have often wondered what it must feel like, the first few times a person begs for change. I’ve been hit up by college-age students on the Ave in Seattle (UW district), by people on freeway offramps, by couples in parking lots, by single individuals (always male) in parking lots (this always makes me very nervous), and so on.
They can’t all have been born scammers. Maybe some of them were legitimately desperate, even. But for the ones who had to swallow their pride and beg…what must it feel like, the first few times? How does one’s mindset shift, as it becomes easier and easier to ask, to take the offered money? How does one’s mindset shift to feel cheated or gypped when one is refused?
I knew a woman who, thanks to a marriage that collapsed, lost her house and everything. She had 5 kids. I have no idea what happened to her, because she didn’t know where she was going to go when the bank repo’d the house, and couldn’t give me an address or phone number to reach her at. So I lost track of her. I can only hope she got into one of the programs that helped her get back on her feet. I tried to help her, but could only help with food staples. And of course, having food isn’t much help when you don’t have a way to cook it, a place to store it. Rough, awful situation. She didn’t need a handout, she needed a hand up. She wanted to work, to have a place to live, to take care of her children. I sincerely hope she got it.
Torontos Shaky Lady. This Wikipedia entry is rife with [citation needed] tags, but the source is in the articles in the links.
I rarely give money to panhandlers, although I will give food. The food is usually accepted gladly.
I should also note that I have had some panhandlers blatantly state that they need it for some dope. I guess they are betting on people rewarding their honesty.
Oh, yeah. Thank goodness the police have stopped the squeegee kids. It bothered me that they were running around in traffic, but watching one of them take a leak in their windsheild washing ‘solution’ didn’t sit well with me.
It is hard enough to change your own life. To pretend that a nice gesture will change someones life is ludicrous. Give if you wish. It will help someone a little. Maybe it helps you. But we are attaching way too much significance. You might have kept someone from being hungry for a day.That should be enough.
Okay, I feel like maybe I should clarify my position a bit. I do not give money to people I believe are “professional” beggars, and I do not give money to people I believe are scammers (aka not really homeless). Have I made mistakes in these judgments? Almost certainly. But, considering the amount and frequency in which I give, I doubt the total accumulated sum of been scammed out of is more than $5 or so. I tried to say that in my first post.
As for the others; people who seem to be genuinely homeless, I do often give them money. If I were confronted with them on a daily basis, I might not, but I don’t actually see homeless people all that often, so I don’t have a lot of bad experiences like some people. And when I give my money, I consider it a gift. And like any gift, I do not expect to retain any control once it is given. I give it freely. I also give to charities, but I do not consider that money to be a “gift”; it’s a donation, and I expect a return on my “investment” (in the form of people being helped).
I also happen to believe that there are some people who will not avail themselves to these services for whatever reason. I wish they would, but it is their life, and I respect that, even if I do not understand it. I choose to give these people money, and even though I know they will probably not spend it in a way that I think is wise, I give it to them anyway. It’s not really a matter of compassion, per se, because I don’t think that people who choose not to give money to homeless people are not compassionate. I just feel a deep empathy with them. I can’t imagine their life, and when I smile, and hand them a dollar and tell them I wish them well, I like to believe that this adds to the goodness of the world. I guess I feel like it’s good for me, in a karmic way. There but for the grace of God, and all that.
So when I say “who am I to judge?” I just mean, how can I, with all my comforts, truly understand their situation? How can I know what they need? It sounds corny, I know, and I guess I’m naive, but I don’t think it’s hurts the people I give to, I really don’t. I don’t think you really can mess up their situation much, or help them much either. I think it just is what it is, in some cases.
It would be almost impossible not to do something directly in the situation you described. Anyone living in a large city has experienced it including myself.
However if we, as a society, want to help these people then we should do so in the most beneficial way possible. That means getting the most help for the money. It also means not acting as enablers for addicts. While I wouldn’t go so far as to say it is always wrong to give directly I think it is almost always better if donations are made to organizations that are geared toward the complex problems of the homeless.
As I get older I find it harder not to give to people directly, even though I think the money would go further by donating to an organization that is well run.
The question is not “who am I to judge”, the question is, “how many people can I help with the money I have”.
I’m always torn. I remember reading (when I was younger and at a more impressionable age) a quote by… St Thomas Moore, perhaps? … about how he’d rather be fooled ten times over than end up ignoring one person in need. But realistically, it seems stupid to give money indiscriminately when you could save it up and donate it somewhere you can be fairly certain it will be used well. Was it Emerson or Thoreau that said the dollar he occasionally gave to beggars was “an evil dollar” because it was basically just to make himself temporarily feel better? Sometimes, though, when I’m feeling less cynical about humanity in general, I do end up giving that evil dollar.
Sorry, I misquoted - it was Emerson in his essay “Self-Reliance” and he calls it a “wicked dollar.”
I heard through the family grapevine that my first cousin was homeless and in our area, so I found him and brought him home with two conditions:
This worked well for a week … until he got his first paycheck which is blew the same night on crack & booze. I loaded his butt in the car and brought him to the Salvation Army, paid for a weeks room & board, and DH began picking him up there to work. That lasted for less than a week.
That said, and knowing that homeless folks may very well spend what I give them to get loaded, I still give and figure it’s between them and their conscience what they do with the money. It’s my job to look after my fellow man, and it’s their job to do whatever it is they need to do to find a little peace in this world, regardless of whether it’s spent on booze, crack, smokes, shelter, food, clothing … it’s not my decision to make once I’ve done what I’m supposed to do.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061121/ap_on_re_us/new_york_hunger_1 No need in America. They may have to sell some of their stocks.
This economy is leaving many behind.