The OP seems to be totally evident, but more than once I noticed, that woman were staring at me (you know how) after I was in a state of being happy about the world.
For example yesterday I was strolling around in the old town in Lyon. I bought a kebab in some indian place, walked up the Fourviere hill, where you have this great view across the old down. Had my kebab enoying the view and distance sounds from town. Then walked down, it was around 21:00 and the last sunlight touched the old architecture of the city.
I was a little bit dreaming and started to think that this was a really great moment. When I “woke up” there was this woman in a café staring at me …
Not that I could exploit this anyway, first I am married, and furthermore this is something which only happens if you did not plan it beforehand. Its hard to look happy if you aren’t.
Honestly, I think people are more attractive when they are in a state of mind where they radiate happiness and appreciation with the world.
i think it depends on the person - i actually tend to swing the other way without realising it (and end up finding moody pessimistic girls very attractive).
I think happiness is definitely an accessory worth wearing when going out for a hoity-toity, dressed-up kinda evening.
Sure, auntie em is a hot tamale even before you get to know her (and that was one of the reasons I did want to get to know her), but I think the fact that she’s one of the happiest people I know makes her beautiful plus a couple of gorgeous(es).
And she’s happy on a regular basis–so I’m a lucky guy.
Some years ago, I was watching one of the early morning “news” programs, and they had a segment on oral surgery, specifically on a girl who had some serious dental work ahead of her. (I think she was maybe 13 or 14, and she had a mouth full of crooked teeth.) She was a rather attractive girl as I remembered, but they showed her after the surgeries and she was dramatically more attractive. While the surgeries might have had some bearing on her appearance, though, I think the biggest change in her outward appearance was her inner perception of herself.
I saw the same situation in real life a few years ago with a co-worker and her daughter. Everything above applied to her, also.
Someone radiating anger, or sadness or unhappiness is simply not as approachable, IMO. For example, I would hesitate to ask an angry or sad-looking person for the time of day, just out of respect for their mood and “space” and maybe to avoid being rebuffed.
A happy person just seems more open, more outward-looking, more generous, more willing to be engaged. Someone with a happy demeanor seems ready to smile, laugh, look at the humour in life.
Much more attractive than a depressed or unhappy individual or even someone in just a blah mood, IMO.
I don’t think it is fair to compare happy to (utterly) unhappy. The OP just compared happiness on top of a normal life as adding another layer of attractiveness, so to speak.
For that reason I side with garius in saying that the brooding pessimistic look can be very attractive, given the right girl (oh, Isabelle Adjani!). If she would be completely unhappy, it would not be attractive, but the pessimism adds a kind of edge. IMHO, YMMV, and any other applicable acronym.
Maybe it’s related to the “feast or famine” dating phenomenon. I know whenever I’ve been in the blissful, shit-faced grin early stages of a relationship, that’s when random guys just come out of the woodwork and start hitting on me. Where the hell were thet when I was single before then? Where the hell are they now?
That is what I wanted to say. It’s clear to me that somebody who is very unhappy or even depressed does not attract many people (except those who search especially for this kind of people - for various reasons).
But what I am interested in is not the conscious processes, e.g. not approaching somebody out of respect, as cited by Triss, but the sub or unconscious changes.
Does somebody appear to be more attractive in this state of mind compared to his “normal” state of mind? I believe so.
I have been told by several people that I’m not particularly attractive or beautiful, but when I smile, my whole face smiles, not just my mouth and makes others want to smile too. I apparently have an infectious smile
I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true. I myself, am more attracted (in a friendship way) to happy people.
Absolutely. I find an average-looking person with a ready smile and a great laugh to be much more attractive than a babe with a pessimistic or petulant outlook. After all, who’s going to be more fun to hang out with?
But the question is also: What if the person is not smiling? I mean, you can enjoy a great moment, you are happy, content, but you do not smile or grin like an idiot when you are alone.
I think, that even in that case you appear more beautiful. Something is radiated which is not necessarily connected to a smile.
I think you’re right, flonks. Happy people generally present a pleasant, appealing vibe. And I’m not necessarily talking about someone who grins all the time; just someone who easily laughs and smiles once conversation has been established.
I can attest to happiness being attractive. Whenever people ask what qualities I like in a gal, the first thing on my list is that she needs to be a happy person. Seeing a pretty girl who is always happy is evidence that she has her life generally under control with very few issues and problems and has a good outlook on life. Constant happiness is probably the best character trait that exists.
