Quick reply I personally couldn’t give a shit about how you look. It’s your inside that counts. Personal experience.
It depends on what you mean by “beautiful.” But, according to one common meaning of the word, “beautiful” means how you look.
Show me some pictures of total strangers, so that I have no idea what they’re like on the inside, and I will almost certainly find some of them more attractive than others. And I might jump to some conclusions about what they’re like inside based on their appearance (their facial expression, how they’re dressed, etc.), though there’s a good chance I’d be wrong.
On the other hand, show me some pictures of people I know fairly well, and I won’t be able to completely separate their appearance from what I know about them as people, and that’s definitely going to influence whether or not I find them “beautiful.”
If you are intending to use a word in a way different from its standard definition, why wouldn’t you tell somebody that ahead of time? Are you planning a trap? If so, why?
from The Confessions of Jeffrey Dahmer.
Talk about opening up to your partner.
This has been somewhat analysed in terms of parameters like facial symmetry, however, I do not think it is completely straightforward, as in not everyone will agree on which faces are the most attractive. Also they will obviously perceive different things if they see how the person moves, acts, and dresses compared to just the mugshots.
ETA for example, an Italian study summarized in wikipedia found that northern Italian adolescents are attractive when they have a larger ratio between the volume of the forehead to the total face, a smaller nasal volume, larger distance between outer canthi, and reduced total facial height and depth. Some features depend on age and sex, e.g. older attractive boys had a smaller facial volume, but attractive girls had a bigger facial volume.
This is the adult version of a Barney The Dinosaur video.
I’m sure there are limits.
The OP is arrant nonsense. “Beautiful” is a term for appearance.
You, any you, can choose to prefer persons of interest on the basis of things other than physical appearance. But “beauty” is the wrong word for those other preference functions.
This is nonsense. “Beautiful” is a term for an emotional response to appearance. That response is heavily influenced by factors not actually related to the appearance. How much differs from person to person, and even situation to situation. Trying to restrict it to appearance only goes contrary to normal usage of the word.
A Beautiful Mind would like to have a word with you.
I can’t claim to read your mind, but let me express a bit of skepticism (and I don’t mean this in an attacking way):
IMHO, generally, people who say this, are still discriminating on the basis of appearance, they just don’t realize or acknowledge it. You would probably subconsciously still treat a very beautiful person differently than a very ugly person despite whatever their inner personality may be.
I used to think I was the same as what you described, but then one time I dated a woman who had great personality but was simply just too ugly for me to continue the relationship with further. I felt ashamed for feeling that way, but it was just unsustainable. Had I married her, I would have had to pretend, for decades, that her looks didn’t matter (and also put up with the weird looks from bystanders,) and I just couldn’t.
Caring whether you find a potential partner physically attractive, and caring whether other people find them physically attractive, are two different things. I can understand the former, but the latter seems shallow to me, as though you’re choosing a partner to impress other people.
There’s a difference between “wanting to impress others” and “not wanting to get stared at by others.”
Not choosing a partner to impress other people per se, but it sure can be a fun feature.
I personally don’t fall for conventionally beautiful women, but I do have my own preferences.
Physical beauty is relative for me. I’ve found some women to be more physically attractive after noticing things that I liked about their personalities, and the opposite has happened to me a number of times.
Discovering beauty in a partner is a beautiful thing.
To the OP: sense of humor, fairness, maturity, self-reliance and sociability are high on the list.