Does it matter if there is a funeral for you?

Do you care if there is a funeral for you? How important is it to you personally?
If so, does that bring you comfort? Or is it just that your family will want to have the funeral and you don’t care.
I ask because my father died and we are not going to have a service of any kind. We are not members of any religion and Mom does not want a service or gathering at all. She thinks this is a private matter and will not put on any public display. Some of my friends seem shocked and appalled. OK so we are not playing by white middle class American rules, it is not what he wanted. Nor is it what the widow wants.
What do you want at the end of life?

does a party count as a funeral?

It could.

Whatever makes my predecessors happy.

Hell, I’d far prefer not! If people want a memorial party, that’s one thing, but a funeral? Pee-you! No sir! I don’t like funerals, and hate the idea that one would be held for me.

Cremate me with as little ceremony as possible, and toss the ashes somewhere pretty. Divide up my stuff with as little contention as possible.

Life is for the living.

Well, I will be dead so I don’t think I would care really. But yes, I hope lots of people go to my funeral and cry for me

My father-in-law died suddenly of a massive heart attack 8 years ago. He already paid to be cremated. He didn’t want any kind of service, just dump his ashes in the cheapest container the funeral home had.

At first, my wife was OK with the arrangement, but as a little bit of time went on, she said didn’t feel closure about his death. Without a service, she felt she didn’t have time to properly say goodbye.

In my opinion, funerals are for the living and not the dead (what do they care, they are dead)

I hate funerals and would personally be fine with not having one. But I do care about the people I will be leaving behind, and would want them to do whatever would feel best to them.

I hate funerals. When my father died, I felt like the OP’s mother about a desire for privacy and not to be put on display. so when it was up to me, and my first husband died, I did what would benefit me and had no ceremony. I didn’t want one and he wouldn’t have wanted one.

It was absolutely the best decision for me. I’ve never regretted it.

I have no desire for someone to have a funeral for me when I’m dead, but I’ll be dead and couldn’t possibly care or matter less.

Lol I spent a lot of time trying to spell “predecessors” from my iPod here and failed to notice I meant “successors.” :slight_smile:

No. Incinerate me, spread my ashes on a golf course and have a party.

Then get on with your lives.

As much as I’d like to have a funeral, there probably won’t be one for me. My family will probably donate my body to charity, disperse all my worldly possessions and pretend as if I never existed.

Unless I outlive the bastards.

I guess someone would have some kind of funeral for me, and I like the idea that people would take the time to get together and comfort each other and remember me. But whatever they do, I hope they don’t spend thousands of dollars on a casket. Just give me a plain pine box. It’s one of the things I actually like about Judaism. What’s the point of an ostentatious funeral? And an ostentatious box that’s just going to rot?

Couldn’t care less, they do whatever makes them happy, even if that’s completely nothing.

I don’t care about myself. I won’t be there, let my family do what they want.

My grandmother died at Christmas, and my Mom didn’t want a service for the same reasons as your Mom. Some people were shocked and bent out of shape, but to Hell with them. They weren’t the ones who watched their Mother die. My Mom’s feelings and wishes were the most important. The people who mattered completely understood.

I would prefer to think my wife and son would not have a funeral for me. They know that is my wish (and we know the same for my wife), and they are fine with it. However, if for some reason they change their mind after my death and want to have one, I wold like to think they would do so despite my wishes. It is their choice.

I’ve told my brother (my only relative who is both nearby and still alive) to just do whatever is cheapest when I die. Actually, given that we are both Star Trek fans I paraphrased the Klingons from ST:TNG at him; “It is only a shell now. Do with it as you will.”

The only time I can care is when I’m alive, and I don’t want a funeral then. I’d much prefer it after the fact, thanks, and by then I don’t care, and in fact I can’t care.

But that’s me being pedantic.

I don’t really care what anyone does in memory of my death/life/existence. My assumption is that my family will be upset and my friends will miss me, and then I will fade from memory, which is good enough for me, as that’s what happens for pretty much everyone else. Ceremonies and gatherings, not important.

Damn right I want a funeral. I’m a decent man, and I’ve lived a decent life. I deserve my last respects.

I’m on the donor register for everything -so if all goes to plan, my body will be used for research. Whatever my friends and family want to do after I’m gone is okay with me. It’s nice to think there might be some get-together where they share stories about stupid things I did, etc.