My official position is that I’m a dastardly, yellow-bellied bastard who only cares about myself, Mrs. Rhymer, my not-quite-stepdaughter, and selected persons with whom I share a blood relationship. I tend to avoid physical confrontation whenever possible, and if that means I have to slink off like a Frenchman confronted by a German, c’est la vie.
Nonetheless I sometimes find myself courting a fight. For example, I was walking in downtown Memphis once when I saw an insane homeless gentleman abusing a dog which had been left tied to a lamp post while its owner was in a store. I actively dislike dogs, and at the time I was downright phobic about them; but nevertheless I got angry enough to intervene and chase the guy off. I’ve always gotten between women and men who clearly intended to abuse them in public. In such instances I never think “Alright, time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and unfortunately I’m out of Bubblicious.” I don’t think at all during such times; I just get so angry I do something that, later, makes me think “What the fuck is wrong with you, Skaldimus? That was soooooooo stupid.”
So does my hotheadedness mean I’m not actually a coward?
A great deal of anger is caused by fear, which is caused by a feeling of powerlessness. Sometimes that welling up of anger and desire to fight is part of that unconscious desire to reclaim our power.
Daydreams of power (superpowers, world domination, etc) also serve the same purpose. (hint hint)
That being said, as someone with a very strong sense of Justice, I have a deep and abiding respect for those (like me) who are willing to put themselves into danger to protect others. Those are moments of courage and strength. The anger that happens in those moments is natural, and is fueled in part by the adrenaline that accompanies those moments of fear and terror. Because you’ve got to do SOMETHING with that energy, and that something is going to be either physical or emotional.
For instance, in your first example, standing up to a homeless man isn’t particularly gallant - I mean, what’s he going to do to you, really? He’s homeless.
In your second example, I suppose it depends. If the bully is smaller or weaker than you, or if there are a number of other people around that would ‘have your back’, then again, not super courageous.
I mean, neither of your examples MAKE you a coward either, but on their own they’re nothing more than an indication that you like to mix it up once and a while.
Mind you, I consider things like donating bone marrow to a total stranger courageous. Physical displays of bigness/strongness not so much.
You need to contemplate to yourself the difference between bravery and stupidity.
If a dolt walks out on the frozen lake because he doesn’t grasp the concept of ice breaking, him falling in and then freezing to death; that equals stupid.
If however, a man sees stupid-ass out on the frozen lake and decides to go out there to save stupid-ass from his own stupidity; Well, that’s bravery.
So ask yourself: Are you the guy playing on the ice? Or are you the guy trying to save the guy on the ice?
Well, the danger in confronting a violent person isn’t usually that he’s going to hit you with his home. He’s not fistless, and he might not be knifeless.
It seems to me that if Skald is using his powers for the good of others, and not simply to avenge insults to himself, for instance, how is that not commendable? It’s not just an empty display of strength if directed to a worthy purpose, is it? Or to put it another way, why shouldn’t “risking one’s safety to protect a stranger” be one form of courage just like “donating bone marrow to benefit a stranger” certainly is?
Skald, though, for your own sake, try to handle these situations without flying into a blind rage. One of these times, you might get yourself really hurt.
When you are in a tough situation, do you do what you know is right even when it is hard? Or when you look back on your life, do you spend a lot of time with regrets because you didn’t do what your heart was telling you?
Well, actually I’d hit them in the back of the head with a 2 by 4 or something. It’s part of the “evil” thing.
Sometimes you have to fight when you’re a man. Sometimes you don’t. You know the difference.
