dblenks, beautiful first post. Welcome! The squid will be along shortly.
I first encountered this idea in a blog article and it really stuck with me. There is nothing we want in life that comes without a price. I love fiction writing. The downside of fiction writing is hours of painstaking, thankless labor. I’ve spent easily 2,000 hours on my current novel, and about a month ago, one of my writer friends sat back and said of my lovingly crafted female protagonist, ‘‘She’s such a bitch.’’ This comment unraveled me. For a full month, I couldn’t even touch the thing. My point is, the writer’s path includes neurotic obsession with the quality of your work, boredom, crippling insecurity, very little financial reward, and having people routinely mistake your life’s passion for a cute little side hobby. Three years of effort and I’m not even finished, have nothing published, have, on the surface ‘‘nothing to show for it.’’
If you can read all that and still want to write, you’re a writer. Because there is nothing in the world like the creative process, there is nothing so deeply satisfying as breathing a character to life, as crafting a compelling arc, as finding that one turn of phrase that fits the moment. I can’t not do it. I have found this thing worth suffering for.
The ‘secret’ to happiness is to find your thing.
I have a long history of reading self-help and self-improvement books, but my view has taken a radical turn in the past several months, starting with the aforementioned The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking by Oliver Burkeman. It seems the pursuit of happiness, which is, in all honesty, a pretty narcissistic endeavor, is the very thing that takes us farther from it. We are most satisfied when we are busy, working, engaged, living. The act of creation is liberation. In Faces at the Bottom of the Well, critical race theorist Derrick Bell acknowledges that racism is inherent to the human condition, that it can never be eradicated. But that it is the struggle itself that liberates the human spirit.